Liberty
by Jayne Foyer
Summary: The Strider boys were doing okay, until the rumors started spreading. Humanstuck AU, JohnDave, Karezi, tons more pairings and cameos later, angst, a sprinkle of Dirk's mental health issues, a massively unhealthy failed relationship with a certain Marquise, and a creepy mofo with scars on his face, a pseudo-crush on Dave, and a penchant for hoarding bodies.
1. ACT ONE ACT ONE

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-seven."

"How old were you when your parents passed away?"

"Nineteen."

"How old was your brother?"

"Eight."

"He's eleven years younger than you?"

"Ten years and five months."

"How old were you when your father remarried?"

"Six."

"Did you and your stepmother get along?"

"Yeah. My mom."

"Excuse me?"

"She was my mom. I didn't even know my birthmother. Dave's mom is my mom."

"Were you living at home then?"

"When?"

"When your parents passed away."

"No. I wasn't."

"Where were you?"

"Dallas."

"What were you doing in Dallas?"

"I had a job. I was living with a couple of guys."

"When did you leave home?"

"When I was seventeen."

"Did you go to Dallas then?"

"No. I went to New York for a while, first."

"Why did you go to New York?"

"I have a friend up there. She paid for my plane ticket."

"How long were you in New York?"

"About half a year."

"Why didn't you stay?"

Finally, a pause. "I wanted to come back to Texas. I didn't fit in up there."

"Tell me about the friend you stayed with."

"She's got money. Divorced. A kid."

"Is she much older than you?"

"More'n ten years, yeah."

"Were you two romantically involved?"

"What? No. I was underage."

"The age of consent in New York is seventeen. If you were having sexual relations with this woman, she wouldn't be in any tr-"

"No. She is a friend. Sort of like an older sister to me."

"Are you still in contact with her?"

"Yes. Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"When our phone works. When our internet's connected."

"How often is that?"

"…Most of the time."

"Most of the time? Is that true, hon?"

"Don't call me 'hon.'"

"Okay. I won't. That's on record, I promise I won't."

"Yeah. Our phone's been disconnected twice in the past three or four years. So most of the time, yeah, our phone works. I was just exaggerating."

"Your brother's in high school, correct?"

"He's a junior. Yeah."

"How are his grades?"

"I'm pretty sure that's public record or something. Ask the school."

"Please answer the question, Mister Strider."

Another bristling pause. "His grades are good. Much better than mine were at his age."

"Did you graduate high school?"

"No. I dropped out when I left home. But I got my GED two years after that. Right before my parents died."

"And you had plans to apply for college, correct?"

"Yeah. Electrical engineering. I didn't do all that good in school but I know my shit. Stuff. I know my stuff."

"Why didn't you go to college?"

"I had other responsibilities."

"Are you currently employed?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"I work at a gym. Personal training classes, and I fix the machines. And I DJ at clubs sometimes."

"How much does that pay?"

"Enough. Dave and me get by."

"Can you estimate a figure?"

"_Enough_. Am I legally obligated to give you a number?"

"You've already given us your annual income in the paperwork."

"So no. Well, anyway, we never go hungry, if that's what you're asking."

"Is he happy?"

"Dave? Yeah. We get along good. He has lots of friends, too."

"Do you have many friends, Mister Strider?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's important that we get a comprehensive look at your lives here. So I'm going to ask you again. Do you have many friends?"

A pause. "Call me Dirk." And: "Yes. Dude, I'm just a normal guy. I have plenty of bros."

"Are they all supportive of what you're doing with Dave?"

"What I'm doing with Dave? What, do you mean _raising him?_"

"Yes. I do."

"Yeah. Sure. People who don't know us think he's my kid all the time, which is weird because I don't think I look that fucking- that, freaking, old I mean."

"Okay now, Dirk, I'm going to play a recording. Tell me if you recognize it."

_Click_. The silence of a tape recorder playing, but no sound coming out. And then another _click_ and a voice: sobbing. "_I can't I can't I can't, I wanna go home, I wanna go home, ROXY! ROXY! HELP ME!_"

_Click_. Silence. "Do you recognize that recording, Dirk?"

"What the fuck does this have to do with anything?"

"This is very relevant to our conversation today. Do you recognize that recording?"

"Yes. Yes I do. That's gotta be from the night I checked myself into a mental wellness clinic."

"When was that?"

"Three years ago."

"Why did you do that, Dirk?"

"I had a little bit of a nervous breakdown."

"Why?"

"Because I was stressed."

"Why were you stressed?"

"I lost my job. And Dave broke his arm and our insurance didn't cover it."

"How did Dave break his arm?"

"He was climbing trees with his friends, and fell."

"And this prompted a psychotic episode."

"Not psychotic. I have people on record saying that it was not psychotic. I wasn't try'na hurt nobody."

"How old was your brother?"

"He was...it was three years ago. He was thirteen. Summer before eighth grade, I think. We took him to the hospital and he got his cast on and everything and we took him home and like a week later they'd been calling about the bill and I just fucking lost it. Sorry."

"How did he react? Was he scared?"

"I didn't hit him or anything."

"What happened?"

"I cried mostly. He called a friend and she took me to the hospital."

"You left him alone?"

"I left him with our friend's daughter. She's a couple years older than him. And we asked the people next door to keep an eye on them too. Look, I don't understand why I have to go through all of this again. You guys took my profile after that night, I remember, it was like Dave's first day of school and you called me and the doctor called me and it was this huge shitstorm and you almost took him away from me."

"Dirk. We're not looking to take him away from you."

"Yes you fucking are. I know what you people do and I know that you're looking for an excuse to declare me, like, fucking unfit or something. He's my brother. I can take care of him."

"Who's Roxy, Dirk?"

"Roxy is my friend from New York. Like I said, she supports me a lot so I was just, like, I wanted her there."

"Does Roxy ever help you out financially, Dirk?"

A silence. "She sends gifts sometimes."

"Like what?"

"She bought Dave his iPhone."

"Are you on medication?"

"What the fuck does that have to do with Roxy buying us things?"

"Dirk, please just answer the questions and you'll get back home in no time. I'm sure Dave's waiting for you."

"Right. No. I'm not on medication."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't need to be."

"Who decided that? You, or your doctor?"

"You are such motherfuckers, you know that?"

"Were you prescribed medication?"

"Look, ma'am, I'm sure you've seen my paperwork so you know what I earn. We had to cut our budget in half for a year just to pay for that one night. I am not getting on none of y'all's fucking medication, they don't fucking own me."

"Dirk, please pay attention to your language."

"I'm sorry. I know. I know you're going to use that against me. I know that you've, like, decided already so none of this matters."

"Staying with your brother doesn't matter to you?"

"Miss Leijon, it matters a hell of a lot to me. It's the only thing that matters to me. I can't do a whole lot with my life, I'm already fucked like three times over, but Dave is smart, and he's got plans and he's gonna be something big. I can feel it, you know? I can feel it in my bones. And he's my brother. I have to be there for him, you gotta understand. I have to be there with him, helpin' him, doin' what I can even though I know I can't do anything for him. Maybe he'd get a better education with somebody else. Maybe he'd eat better or have better clothes or more friends or a longer life expectancy or some fucking ass-backwards bullshit statistic like that. But he's my brother, and he is all that I got. I'mma do right by him, ma'am. I swear to you."

This time, a silence from the other side. "Okay," she said. "I think we're just about done here."

"Thank you."

"One final question."

"Shoot."

"Are you currently in a relationship, Mister Strider?"

"No."

"What about this friend that took you to the hospital?"

"She's our lawyer."

"Is your brother in a relationship?"

"That is not your business. I'mma say yes to that, because I know you're asking because you don't want to disrupt his life all that bad by taking him away. Well yeah, he is in a fucking relationship, he's in a fuckton of relationships with a buncha people and you can't just take him out of that. He's got a good life here. We're not the richest or the smartest or whatever the fuck your other criterion are, but he's got a good life. You can't take him outta that."

Nothing.

"We done here?"

"Yes, Mister Strider. I think we're done. Thank you."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"You're polite, for someone who historically has issues with authority."

"I've been seeing a new psychologist."

"Really? For how long now?"

"Year or so. Probably longer."

"Why hasn't this come up until now? Can you give me a name? I'll put them down in your record as a reference."

"She's unlicensed."

"Oh?"

"A family friend. Helpin' outta the goodness of her li'l heart."

"Dirk. Please. My expectation is that you'll treat this seriously. Don't start making up things now."

"Not makin' it up. She knows what the fuck she's been talking about. Sorry. Anyway. I ain't yellin' at you yet, am I? All thanks to her."

"So you've been working on your anger issues?"

"I don't have anger issues."

"In our first examination you were diagnosed with-"

"You pulled that one outta your ass. You didn't want to hand custody over to a nineteen-year-old dropout."

"No. No, Dirk, we didn't."

Quiet.

"But I have faith in you, Dirk." She got to her feet. "We were all - we still are - concerned for the wellbeing of you and your brother. We've been keeping an eye on you because of the situation you're in. I've heard some people saying that they expect Dave to drop out of school like you did, that you're not a good enough role model for a young man, that we're limiting a child's development and opportunity by leaving him with the brother who left his own family when he was the age Dave is right now. Not everybody believes in you, Dirk."

She collected her paperwork, her folders. Took reading glasses off the bridge of her nose and tucked them into her pocket.

"Prove them wrong."

And she was gone.

Dirk walked home, too fidgety for a bus. Late August, when the heat is killer in Houston and they scheduled this thing first thing in the fucking morning and so now he's gonna get heatstroke and pass out before he gets ten feet out of the building. He brought water, though, and stopped to buy a soda halfway home and that lasted pretty much until the empty lot (the park, technically, but fuck man, he is a Harvard grad with a degree in existential philosophy if that's anything resembling what a park should be) where Dave's hanging out, sitting on the bleachers. A group of kids were chainsmoking on the other side of the bleachers but his back was turned to them and Dave didn't even turn around to glance at them, only stared long and hard through his shades at the cards in front of him, then laid one down and his friend in the wheelchair laughed and gave him something, and Dave grinned and Dirk was standing behind the chain-link fence when Dave saw him.

He set his cards down, said something to Tav (pointed at his eyes with two fingers then at Tav's face then narrowed his eyes at the cards) and then stood up, trotting over behind the bleachers to meet his brother. He stopped in front of him, curling his fingers in the diamond-shaped holes, as if clutching on to something, as if intwining his fingers with somebody else's.

"How'd it go?" he asked, and Dirk could see the squint behind his shades, anxiety far too obvious in his grimly-set lips, the clenched jaw, the worried crease above his brow.

Dirk shrugged. "Didn't throw any punches."

"So...better than last time?"

"I like this new social worker. She was nice."

"Is she the one that came to the apartment?"

"No, no, no. That one was a total bitch."

"Okay. What'd they ask you about?"

"Too fuckin' much. One wonders why they have to ask for my whole entire life story every single time they do this."

"They forget."

"They lose the paperwork."

"Their brains are about the size of - like, if you melted down a plastic spoon..."

"So not their fault."

"God don't make no mistakes, son."

"Paws up, baby."

Dave grinned, and his grip on the fence loosened. "You wanna celebrate tonight?"

"How? Group call, your friends and my friends, serve virtual shots? We can probably afford those."

"I was thinkin' pizza."

"I am not feeding you pizza for the fifth time this week."

"Fourth."

"Pizza bites are still pizza."

"I'll get some ice cream on the way home. Party time."

"Woah, Bro Strider, don't get too crazy."

"Can't help it. Born this way."

Dirk grinned. "Okay," he said. "You got any money?"

"Tav does."

Dirk looked at him.

"Don't even. I'll bring him home too, we can party together."

"Let me give you something."

"No, it's fine. We got it covered."

"Dave-"

"Really, it's fine. Keep your cash. You earned it."

Dirk breathed in deeply, ran a hand through his hair. "I'mma head home, then."

"See you in a while."

"Uh, hold on. I'm not sure if the elevator's working."

Dave considered this for a second, his mouth twisting slightly, looking back at Tavros shuffling through his own cards. "I could run him up the stairs."

"I really doubt that."

"Text me or something. Lemme know."

"Sure. Okay. Seeya."

He turned to go. Dave called, "Dirk."

The older man turned around.

Almost hungrily, his eyes open and honest and terrified behind his shadows, Dave asked, "It went okay, though, right? You didn't piss them off or anything?"

Dirk looked at him silently for a moment, then bowed his head slightly in a nod. "It went okay," he said. "You're not going anywhere, Dave. Not on my watch."

A grin broke out on the kid's face and he nodded. "Okay," he said. "Alright. Awesome. Cool. See you at home."

Dirk returned the nod and Dave let go of the fence, trotting back to the bleachers. Dirk watched just long enough to see Tavros ask a question (well, from the looks of it, stuttering a question) and then Dave grinning, nodding enthusiastically, and then they went back to their game and Dirk walked back to the apartment building. The elevator stank in this heat, but yeah, it was working; when Dirk got in, the first thing he did was text his brother, let him know that the elevator was working fine and he could bring Tav over. Tavros had had a little bit of a problem when he first started coming over, because his wheelchair was big and bulky and kind of hard to maneuver in the Strider's itty bitty apartment, but after a while they just got used to leaving certain spaces open and Tav started coming over more and he was a cool kid. Dirk liked him; he moved slow, talked slow, but he was pretty damn funny when he wanted to be, and he was a good friend to Dave.

After texting Dave, he dialed another number, put the phone to his ear.

_Click_. "Dirk?"

"Hey you."

"How'd it go?"

"Fine."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing bad. I hope."

"Dammit. You know it's well within your rights to have a lawyer present during the interview."

"Didn't need you. Did okay by myself, I think."

"This process sickens me."

"Woah. Coming from _you_, that really means something."

"I'm serious. They're sharks and you're chum. Your blood is _candy_ to them."

"You're a lawyer, Latula."

"Only with my clients."

"I'm your client."

"Ex-client."

"Anyway, we're gonna get together tonight and hang out. You wanna come?"

"I can't. I have to be in court."

"How 'bout Terezi?"

A pause. "I'll ask her."

"Don't think she'd be interested?"

"She's been busy today."

"Too busy to party with Dave?"

"You boys don't even know how to party. You'll be eating pizza and sucking down root beer and call it a night at ten o'clock."

"We Striders get grumpy if we don't get enough sleep. But what about Terezi? She okay?"

"She's fine. Been talking to her friend all day."

"Friend?"

"Back in Washington. Something tells me that they're getting pretty serious."

"Good for her."

"Or not. You know this kid, right? I'm sure Dave knows him."

"Wait, we're not talking about John are we? Because that's not cool, you know Dave's-"

"No, no, not John. Karkat. His name is Karkat."

"The adopted kid?"  
"Foster child, yes. Porrim's had him in therapy for a while now and he's still… I mean, you know what happened with his father, right?"

"No, what happened?"

"He's in prison."

"For real?"

"For real. I represented him in court."

"No."

"Yes."

"So what's the kid like? Dave never said anything about him."

"He's…complicated. Porrim is doing the best she can with him. But I don't know if I like the way things are going with him and Terezi."

"So she's been, what, talking to him all day?"

"Alternatingly shouting at and sharing dirty words with him."

"Sounds like most of my relationships."

"I knew you'd say that."

"So the kid's getting romantic with a troubled teen. You remember your teenage years, right? Horny, hormone-fueled, et cetera, et cetera?"

"Yes, which makes it doubly weird."

"How?"

"Porrim's trying to get the kid to call her 'mom.' And Porrim and me…you know…we used to have a thing."

Dirk actually laughed. "_What?_ You and _Porrim?_"

"Don't even start."

"You're _kidding_, right? She's so…classy."

"You're so kind, Strider."

"So no, no, wait, what you're essentially telling me here is that it freaks you out that your daughter's having sloppy cyber-makeouts with the foster son of your ex-girlfriend?"

"Essentially, yes."

"Pft. If Dave wanted to bone Jade I'd be completely supportive of him."

"Jade is a bright, happy, functioning human being. And you and Jake don't really _count_, Dirk, come on."

Ignoring this last comment, Dirk asked, "So what, Karkat's not any of those things? He's just a kid, cut him some slack. Maybe he needs Terezi."

A silence. "I worry about her," said Latula.

"She can take care of herself."

"I know that. I just…wonder sometimes how healthy this relationship can be for her."

"Eh. You know how prickly and aggressive she is. Just her way of saying _I love you_."

"Well. We'll see. I really thought that thing with Vriska was going to work out."

"Vriska? You're kidding, right?"

"They seemed to really like each other."

"Too bad she was too much of a total bitch."

"So the girl had a tough exterior. How many of us don't?"

"Latula, babe, you know I love you. But I ain't gonna sit here and listen to you defend that piece-a-shit family."

A pause, one that could have turned tense. "Sure," she said. "Sure. I can't come tonight, like I said. I'll ask Terezi, but no promises."

"Thanks. Tell her to bring drinks."

"Everyone there will be underage except you."

"Drink, then. Singular. For me."

"Okay, right, whatever you say, Strider."

"Seriously, tell Terezi we'd love to have her."

"Right. Talk to you later, Dirk."

"'Bye." He hung up.

He paused for a second in the apartment, looking around. And then he went into his room, turning on his computer, opening the window to air out the thick, stuffy air. It wasn't on more than half a minute when there was a familiar _do do dooo_ of a call coming in, on Pesterchum's new videochat software (still in beta). Dirk couldn't hold back a smile.

timaeusTestified (TT) answered tipsyGnostalgic's (TG) call.

_Fbloooo!_

Dirk blinked, slightly taken aback at the sudden splash of color across his screen. "Di_iiiirk_!" came Roxy's voice, bright and cheerful and happy. Happy in that grinning sort of way, that nasally, frozen sort of way that hid so well her worry. "Congrats! You're not in jail! Woooo_hoooo!_"

"_What?_"

She wore a shiny cone hat on her head, and a small party horn at her lips, as she spoke making quieter, feebler sounds like the one she had opened the conversation with. "You were so upset about having to go in when I talked to you last night, I thought there was maybe a seventy-forty chance you'd lose your temper and get arrested for, like, assault or something today. But you weren't! Yaaaay!"

"So – just on the _off chance_ that I _wouldn't_ get arrested – you bought party paraphernalia?"

"Dirk. Of course I didn't buy this shit. This is the Lalonde household. We always have party para, pharaphemalia on-hand. I hoard it in my daughter's room."

"And child services won't get off _my_ ass."

"Okay, okay, seriously, Dirk, seriously seriously. How was it? Did you say stupid shit? Were they recording it, can I obtain a sample of said stupid shit?"

"I said perfectly fine shit."

"Like what?"

"Like, one time, I totally boned this rich-ass fine-as-fuck motherfucker twice my age."

"Oh, my, Mister Strider I didn't realize you were so open about your relationship with good ol' English Junior."

"No, but, shit, Roxy, you know what they said to me? It was great. They asked me about when I was living with you, and you know what they seriously fuckin' said?"

"What'd they say?"

"They told me that in New York, you're legal at seventeen, so even if we _had_ fucked, it would have seriously been legally perfectly fine."

"You're kidding. I did not even know that. God damn, I missed out, boy."

"You really did."

"God, that means my baby girl is legal. Do you think she knows?"

"Probably. She's probably out sexing pretty ladies as we speak."

"She's in her room, dumbass, she just brought me the party shit. Here, hold on, I'll go get her, she'll say hi." Dirk nodded, waiting for Roxy to leave, but she didn't get up; "_ROSE!_" she bellowed, so loudly that it fuzzed her voice on his speakers. "_ROOOSE!_"

A pause, and then the sound of a door opening on the other side. "Mom, what the hell, this thing is literally due _tomorrow_-"

"C'mere honey," said Roxy brightly, reaching out to her daughter. "Papa Strider's on the line!"

The sounds of someone reluctantly padding over to Roxy, then Rose appeared in the computer frame, peering at the camera.

"Hi, Rose," said Dirk, with a grin.

She raised her hand in a little wave. "Hello, Dirk," she replied. "How are you?"

"Alive," he said, shrugging. "So far that's been good enough."

"Did you have that interview today?"

"Did your mom tell you about that?"

"We have it marked on the calendar."

"Oh. Yeah, I did."

"And things are okay?"

"Of course. For all that bullshit they spew about unfit parenting and whatnot, it really is all bullshit. They ain't takin' Dave away from me."

Her expression split into a grin. "Tell Dave I say hello. I haven't been online as much, been busy with these early college program things."

"My daughter's a _genius_," said Roxy affectionately, pulling Rose away from the camera a little and tugging her down to kiss her on the cheek. "Gonna get into to all Six Sisters."

"There are Seven Sisters, Mom."

"Baby, please. Bryn Mawr does not fucking count."

"I'll tell Dave, Rose. When you do talk to him, can you work your college-pressure magic on him?"

"_Dirk_," came Roxy's stern voice. "If your boy doesn't wanna go, then your _boy doesn't hafta_-"

"I will. Can I ask him to come up here for college?"

"Kid, if you convince him to goto college, period, you can _have him_."

Roxy pulled her daughter back again. "You see," she whined, "statements like _that_ are why they don't think you should be in charge of him."

"Pft. Just promise me that if they ever take him away from me, you'll, I don't know, sue or some shit. Make sure you get him."

There was a sudden silence. Roxy looked at her daughter, brushed a lock of white-blonde hair out of her face. "I will," she said. Then she tapped Rose gently on the side of the head and said, "Now off, child! You have shit to accomplish today."

Holding up her hands to shield her head from her mother's pokes, Rose said, "It was nice to see you, Dirk. Bring Dave for, like, Thanksgiving or Christmas or something this year, please."

"Maybe. See you around, Rose."

"Dammit, Rosie! The Christmas invitation is _my_ line!"

Rose disappeared, something like a smirk on her face as she left her mother.

Roxy turned back to the camera, shrugging, the party hat askew on her head. "Kids," she sighed. "Whatcha gonna do?"

A few hours later, Dirk was tucking what was left of the ice cream (so very little) into the freezer. He heard the door open and shut; Dave was back from taking Tavros down to the bus stop. Terezi had never shown up. In a moment, Dave was in the kitchen as well.

"That was bitchin'," he said, a smile on his face. "Thanks, bro."

"Pft, you bought the ice cream."

"Tav did. Technically."

"Always mooching off that kid. We need to buy him, like, spinning rims for that chair a'his, or something."

"Attachable, like, weaponized blades. Like little pellet guns or something. So he can fuck people up with more than just his sick beats."

"I don't know, man. Not sure he can get much sicker than his rhymes already are."

"That chair, I'm telling you. Exponential potential. You like that killer robot shit, you design something for it."

"I don't really think killer robots and wheelchairs are all that similar."

"Eh. Both are compact death machines."

"You think Tav's chair is a death machine."

"If he ran over a baby? Bam. Done."

"No way."

"Yeah way."

"He'd have to be, like, going fast enough to slice it in two."

"Only one way to find out."

Dirk laughed. "Dave," he said seriously. "We're not cuttin' a baby in half just to test your theory."

"Design a fake baby first. We'll get to weapons lately."  
"Okay, this is how I know it's time for you to go to bed."

"But _bro-oo_, I'm not _ti-red_."

"Yeah, well. I am. I'mma go to sleep. Don't be loud. If you talk to Rose, she has something to say to you."

"If it's college shit-"

"I basically just sold you to her."

"Oh. That's not so bad. She's only half gay, right?"

"So are you. Cool! Together, you make one full homo!"

"No, bro, that's what I keep you around for."

They grinned at each other. "'Night, bro."

"'Night, Dirk."

The older brother retreated to his room. Dave hung out around the TV, foraging for food. He curled up on the little couch, sinking into himself, his eyes staring straight through the images on the television screen. He wasn't sure how much he believed his brother's reassurance that everything had gone okay. Dirk had been on probation (on probation? Dave didn't know the terminology for it exactly, he guessed, but they'd been, you know, keeping an eye on him) for years now, doubled after that thing at the hospital a few years ago. Dave wasn't sure how much his brother remembered of that night, whether or not he'd even been lucid, but Dave remembered every second of it, the anger and the fear and the screaming and how Dirk had had a black eye in the hospital and they said how that it was because he accidentally hurt himself when he was flailing around, and it wasn't because Dave hit him.

He remembered locking himself in his room (barring himself in his room, really, tucking the chair up beneath the doorknob, shaking in fury and terror), his phone in his hand, and he almost called Rose because Roxy always knew how to bring Dirk down, but she couldn't get here and Dave needed somebody _there_ and so he called the Pyropes which, in retrospect, could've gone _really_ badly, but Latula got Dirk into the car and to the hospital, and Terezi sat outside Dave's door waiting for him, making the occasional joke, until he came out.

That was a couple years ago now, and Dirk was better. He'd always been pretty tense, a little bit competitive in the weird sibling way that you're supposed to be like when your parents are alive, but not after. Things mellowed out after that, though, when he started talking to Rose more, and he started smoking again for a little while. Mostly Rose, though. Dave knew how grateful Dirk was to her, and that was fine most of the time but sometimes he started to feel a little jaded (no pun intended, Jade had nothing to do with this), like maybe sometimes he liked talking to Rose more than he liked being around Dave. Which wasn't too bad, he guessed. Probably had something to do with the fact that Dave tended to get angrier quicker. Strider boys had to joke. Otherwise they'd be tearing each other apart.

Things had settled down, mostly. Dave spent most of his time out of the house, finding some place to be with Tavros, or holed up in his room talking to John. What was weird, Dave thought, was that things had gotten a little easier after he came out. Well, he didn't come out so much as mention to his brother that he and John were kind of dating, pretty much, and that was weird because, okay, as much as people joked about Dirk and Jade's uncle, Dave was pretty sure his bro had been fucking Rose's mom since, like, ever. Pretty much all four of them agreed on that one.

Honestly, Dave didn't doubt that Dirk had his best interests in mind. It was just that it was so _hard _for Dirk, and Dave couldn't even imagine leaving him alone. He'd self-destruct in a matter of days. He needed Dave around to hold him back, keep him steady, keep him on his feet. And so Dave wasn't going anywhere. No matter what those fuckers said, Dave wasn't going _anywhere_.

* * *

"D-don't look now, D-Dave, but I th-thhh-thin_k_ you've got a t-t-t-tail."

Dave paused at the bus stop, hesitating, then glanced behind him.

"I s-s-said don't l_o_-ook."

"Tav, shut up for a second."

"L-let me walk you h-huh-home."

"You can't _walk_ me anywhere."

"Ha. F-funny."

"It's fine. You go home. I'll see you tomorrow."

"D-Dave-"

"Don't worry. I'm like a block away, I'll be fine."

"You sh-should c-c-call your br-brother."

"I'm fine, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

"D-d-don't-"

"'Bye."

Dave turned around and walked away; Tavros didn't say anything, but Dave could feel his eyes boring into his back, mouth a tight line, fingers hovering above his chair's wheels. Dave didn't glance behind him, but he knew that the group that'd been trailing him had disappeared. Dodged out of Tav's line of sight, so he wouldn't follow them. Nobody wants to hit a cripple.

As soon as he turned the corner, he sped up a little bit, walking just quickly enough that it was noticeable, keeping his head down but his eyes straight ahead, making it look like he didn't have time to mess with nobody. He had all the time in the world, but he wasn't going to invite another shiner, okay, not when they were still watching Dirk so closely.

"Strider."

Keep walking. Keep fucking walking.

"Hey. Strider."

Don't even look. They want a reaction. They want to push you around a little bit, that's all. They want you to know who's in charge here. You already know who's boss. Let them know. Don't look up. Don't challenge them.

"Hey, man, won't you grace a brother with a motherfuckin' smile?"

A hand caught Dave's shoulder and he was jerked back, so strongly that he almost tripped. His heart was beating an uneven tattoo against his ribcage, leaping into his throat, but he didn't shake. He tried to pull away from the grip on his shoulder, but the kid holding him was too strong. A dull stinging began to pound where the fingers dug into his skin, but Dave didn't even acknowledge it.

He glanced around at them stoically. "There something I can help you with, Gamzee?"

"S'pose there motherfuckin' is."

"And that would be?"

The kid grinned, exposing a mouth full of teeth way too sharp and pointed to be natural. Just like the Makaras to pay for cosmetic surgery to make them all look that much more like animals.

Gamzee gestured at the one who was holding Dave, and he let out an involuntary sigh of relief as he was let go, unaware of how much pain he'd been in until it disappeared. The one with the terrifuckingfying scars all across his face took a few threatening steps forward, leering over Dave, slouching, shoulders hunched, and still a solid four inches taller than him.

He lowered his face until it was almost level with Dave's, his rank breath blowing straight into Dave's mouth. Dave didn't react.

Gamzee uttered, "You're motherfucking dirt, you know that?"

"Don't touch me."

"Wicked motherfuckin' slime."

Don't antagonize him. Let him make his point. "Oh, Mister Makara, you hittin' on me?" Goddammit, Dave. You're asking for it. You are fucking asking for it.

His grin twisted sharply into a snarl. "Motherfucker best be grateful. Be a miracle if you walk away from the carnival tonight, brother."

"It's broad daylight. Come at me. Bro."

Gamzee's snarl seemed to fill his entire face, lighting up his eyes with a fire that burned silently, and his nose twitched a little bit, and the irrational thought came into Dave's mind that he looked like he was sniffing for blood.

He lifted his dirty hand up, held his fingers up right before Dave's face. He gently clipped Dave's nose between his thumb and forefinger.

"_Honk_," he whispered, malice dripping from his every pore.

There was a shaking in Dave's chest and outside of his brother he was usually pretty good at keeping his anger behind closed doors, but he had put up with _too much_ shit from this stupid fucking posse who thought they were so fucking _better_ than him, and his hand balled into a fist and he was about to do something, swear to God, when-

"D-D-Dave?"

Mother_fuck_.

"Tavros," called Dave, turning his face away from the hulking man before him. "Go back to your bus."

"W-w-what's-"

Gamzee didn't have the patience to allow Tavros to finish speaking; he whirled around, his eyes just as bright as ever, and he bowed.

"Blessed are we, brothers in motherfuckin' mirth, for the Nitram child has arrived."

Irritated, exhausted, and alarmed, Dave said warily, "Fuck off, Gamzee."

"Come, Tavros. Let a brother show the Strider here how much we don't give a fuck 'round these parts."

"G-Guh-Gamzee, you c-can just w-walk aw-w-way from th-thh-this."

That predatory grin again. "Why would a brother walk away from _this_?" he asked, revelry, adoration in his voice.

Nothing for a moment, and then the wheelchair was suddenly on the fucking ground, and Dave didn't even see how it happened but he had to hold back a scream because he knew that was only what they wanted, but as Gamzee chuckled a little, kneeling beside Tavros, lying face-down against the sidewalk, he spoke: "What the fucking fuck is your problem with us, Makara? What the fuck did we do? Call off your stupid gang, this is so done."

"This ain't done," said Gamzee quietly, from the ground, "until I motherfucking say it is."

He turned his head slightly, so Dave could see his soft profile, one eye glinting.

"Does a brother hear me?"

Dave didn't reply. Gamzee reached out and, gently, caressed the base of Tavros's neck; Tav was trying to push himself up, but to little avail. He cringed away from Gamzee's touch, but if he noticed, he didn't react.

"Let a brother preach," he began softly, almost tenderly. "You motherfuckers are so fuckin' low it's a sad sight for a brother to see. That's all there is to it, _flock_."

He stood up straight, let out a long, slow breath.

He said, "You motherfuckers be an offense to a brother's eye, is all."

Gamzee kicked Tavros, hard, in the stomach. A ripple went through the small group gathered there behind him; they were all up for beating up the Strider kid, sure, he could take it, everybody knows he gets that shit at home. And toppling the kid's wheelchair, okay, a joke, alright. But a kick in the chest wasn't a joke to a kid like Tavros, and Dave wasn't the only one who knew that.

Another kick. "And that _doesn't._" Another."_Motherfucking._" Once more._ "Abide_."

Blood coughed, hacked onto the hot ground. Dave felt a shaking surge of fury; "Stop!" he shouted, darting forward, falling to his knees on the other side of Tav, opposite Gamzee. "Stop, cut it out, Jesus. Jesus Christ. Hold on. Hold fucking on."

He reached out, pulled Tavros onto his side, clearing his airways.

"Tav," he said breathily. "Tav, can you hear me? Can you breathe okay?"

Wheezing sounds, irregular breaths, chest jutting up and down. Goddammit. God_dammit_. Dave let go of Tavros and went to the kid's wheelchair, desperately searching the backpack hanging on the back.

"What's this? Is a motherfucker disrespecting-"

"I have no fucking time for your shit right now, Gamzee, you better call a fucking ambulance right now or something because if he stops breathing it is all fucking on you."

Gamzee didn't even blink, only tilted his head slightly, that same smile plastered on his face, watching Dave. He stood up.

"Dammit!" Dave shouted, his fingers shaking, frantically searching through the backpack. "Dammit! This is not a fucking joke!"

Silence. Gamzee continued to stare at him.

Dave was trembling now, in rage and fear. "It's all motherfucking fun and games until you fucking kill someone, is that it, Makara?" His fingers closed around an inhaler and he tore it out of the bag, held it to Tavros's mouth. Looking down to watch Tav's face, his shouted, "Does that motherfuckin' _abide_, you son of a fucking-"

Gamzee's arm shot out and he took hold of Dave roughly by the throat. Dave spluttered, his hands fluttering to Gamzee's, digging his fingernails into the other kid's skin, and his vision and hearing blinked just a little bit, and then the hand around his throat loosened just a bit, and Gamzee pressed his wild face almost directly against Dave's, and he hissed, "Chitlins like yourself best be payin' some motherfucking respect, _Strider._"

He dropped Dave and Dave's knees buckled when he hit the ground and he was lying next to Tavros, who was still breathing too unsteadily, blood coloring his lips, and Gamzee knelt again and held onto the collar of Dave's shirt and punched him, repeatedly, in the face. The world swam red before him, blood dripping into his eyes, beginning to slip into unconsciousness. He could hear Gamzee laughing.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Suddenly, Gamzee let Dave go, standing up straight and turning around. He grinned at Dirk, spreading his arms wide in welcome. "What does a brother look like he's doing?" he breathed.

Dirk stood there, and Dave could see him shaking, see him on the edge, sizing up Gamzee and his group. Dave wanted to tell him not to do it, but he turned back to Tavros, whose eyes were gently closed, although he didn't seem unconscious. There was a tense silence, even as Dave, hands shaking, leaned in towards Tavros, whispering words under his breath, checking to make sure he'd be okay.

"Kid," said Dirk, and Dave wasn't facing him but could tell from the sound of his voice that he hadn't yet decided whether or not he'd be walking away from this intact. There was a threatening second of calculated pause, and then he continued: "You don't want to do this."

A twisted grin, pointed teeth bared. "Motherfucker does what he wants. I am the harbinger of glorious privilege, brother, and I don't take no orders from serfs such as yourself."

Dirk just watched him.

"By every mean, brother, call the motherfuckin' police. See what they have to say to me."

"Havin' a powerful daddy don't make you any more tough now, boy."

Something flashed in Gamzee's eyes, and his smirk turned into a scowl. "Would a motherfucker like to say that to my face?"

"Do you _want _me to say it again, kid?"

"The motherfuckin' _nerve_-"

"Look," said Dirk firmly, "you can beat the mama-lovin' shit outta me any time you want. Hell, you know where I fuckin' live, Makara, the Striders are always ready for y'a. You can tell that to your daddy too. But that kid right there? The one you _already_ beat the shit outta? He needs a _mother_. _Fucking_. Hospital, because you can't push around kids like him like that and you know it. And you also know that you may be a total shithead dick, but you give a damn about Tavros."

There was a silence. Dirk cocked his head slightly.

Gamzee glanced behind him, to where Dave was pulling Tavros up to an awkward dependent sitting position. He looked around him, to the rest of the group. Those that were left. A few of his cronies had already taken off, too intimidated by the blood ringing Tavros's mouth, the broken shades that had fallen off Dave's face. Gamzee looked once more towards Tavros, and then shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"Anotha' day, then, brothers."

He was gone.

Dirk didn't move for a moment, then went to join Dave at Tavros's side. "Tav? You okay?"

Tavros couldn't answer in more than a wheezy gasp, but Dave helped him put the inhaler to his lips again, and then he spoke, "I-I-I-I'm ok-_kay_."

Ignoring this, Dirk took out his cell phone, dialed three numbers. "What the fuck," said Dave, audibly distraught. "We don't need a fucking ambulance, put that away. He's fine. He can talk. He's fine."

"You're not," said Dirk simply, and then the emergency operator answered the call and Dave stared at his brother until the adrenaline began to fade and a powerful, pulsing pain returned to his face, which felt gross and swollen and hot.

Dave and Dirk both helped Tavros back into his wheelchair and then Dirk made Dave sit down and take deep breaths, taking off his own t-shirt to dab the blood off of Dave's face.

"This is humiliating," murmured Dave gingerly, through aching teeth and swollen lips. "The crippled kid and then my big brother coming to my rescue. Real manly."

"Who the fuck cares about that shit. You crossed Gamzee Makara and you're okay. That's enough, don't'cha think?"

Dave said nothing.

Dirk asked, "Why was he after you, anyway?"

"You know the Makaras. Always out for blood."

Tavros, getting his breath back, began to say, "It's G-Gamzee's w-wuh-way of-"

Before Tavros could finish, a blaring siren reached them, drowning out Dave's emphatic, "Shut up, Tav."

A few minutes later they were being rushed into the hospital. Tavros's host of medical conditions were overseen in a more private little space, and before Dirk joined his brother, he waited with Tav, calling the kid's dad. Mister Nitram was a pretty cool guy, most of the time, although sometimes kind of intimidating with his intensity.

He made sure Tavros was okay, then went to Dave, whose face was still being cleaned up. "How is he?" asked Dirk; Dave glanced at him, but said nothing.

"Well," replied a doctor, pressing a bandage onto Dave's face, "pretty nasty cut there, but I'm not going to put stitches in. Bleeding's already gone down. Bruises are just starting to form, though, so be gentle, face is gonna hurt like hell for a couple of days." She smiled at Dave. "How do you feel?"

Dave shrugged darkly, his swollen lip curled into a caricature of a grimace.

"One thing, though," she added, shining a light into his eyes. "Do you have a medical condition, Dave?"

Dave blinked at her. "What?"

"His eyes have always been that color," answered Dirk, for him. The doctor nodded, looking vaguely intrigued.

"That's very fascinating. Does it run in your family?"

"Honestly, we got no idea where it came from, Doc."

The doctor nodded and smiled, then removed her gloves and said, "Could I have a moment alone with Dave here, please, Mister Strider?"  
A little taken aback by this, Dirk nonetheless nodded. "Sure," he said. "No problem."

He stepped away, looking back over at Tavros. He watched as Tavros's father appeared, out of breath, eyes sweeping through the ER for his son. He must've come straight from work.

A few moments later, Dave appeared at Dirk's side. "Okay," he said. "All done, seems like. You just gotta fill some shit out."

"Why'd she make me leave?"

Dave shrugged again. "She wanted to know how I got so beat up."

"So why'd she send me-"

Dave didn't look at him.

Dirk looked up, towards the Nitrams again. "Right," he said.

There was a short silence, then a nurse turned up with paperwork for Dirk. As he began to fill it out, Dave strode over to where Tavros sat, an oxygen mask around his neck, every now and then, at his father's instruction, putting it to his mouth. His father was speaking to him quietly, holding on to his hand. Tav's eyes lit up slightly with Dave approached; his father glanced around.

"Um," said Dave awkwardly. "Hi."

Tavros's father nodded to Dave. "Hello, Dave," he said. "I heard you helped Tavros with his inhaler?"

"Uh, yeah. Everything okay?"

"I'm-muh ff-fine."

"That's, uh. Good."

There was a moment of awkward, hovering silence, and then Mister Nitram asked, holding out his hand, "Dave, would you like to join us for a moment of prayer?"

Dave shook his head. "No thanks," he said. Mister Nitram nodded and took his son's other hand. That was one of the things Dave liked about Tav's dad. He was a pretty religious guy, but he was cool about it.

"O Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gifts you supply us with today as on all days. We are grateful to you for our life and health and ask that you bless our bodies and hearts to heal and forgive those who have transgressed against us. Our bodies can be harmed, but in your glory and grace our souls will never be compromised. Deliver us from sin and grant us a hunger for your righteous love in our hearts. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, now and forever. Amen."

Tavros echoed his father. "Amen."

Dave kind of liked that. That they could just hold hands and say some nice words and feel better about themselves, whenever. Seemed pretty convenient, to be able to get yourself a little peace like that, calm yourself down and take three breaths and decide to put it in some kind of invisible deity's hands. Kinda nice.

Tavros's father stood up and let go of his son's hands and began pacing back and forth and said, "I'm going to kill him."

"D-Dad-"

"Those damn Makaras, thinking they can get away with anything. This is an outrage. This is a fundamental failing of our governmental and judiciary system. That man should have been arrested years ago, his boy sent to juvie, at the very least, but no, he's got enough dollars in his pocket to grease the wheels on any deal. Just pathetic. There is something so very, very wrong in this world today, Tavros, son. You remember that."

Dave couldn't suppress a grin. Yeah. Tav's dad was pretty cool.

"I'm going to march right up there and tell that family what I think. I'd go to the police but he has them tucked in nice and snug in his three-hundred-dollar jeans. That family. I swear. A total disgrace."

"_Dad_, I-I-"

"_No_. You have far too much sympathy for that boy, son. I understand that you two used to be close, but he is cruel and unkind and there is nothing you could have done to change that."

From the look on Tav's face, that was exactly what he was going to protest. Dave was pretty impressed that his dad knew him well enough to anticipate the comment.

After a while, Dirk came and joined them as well, staying close to Dave. "Thank you for calling me," said Tavros's dad, nodding at Dirk, who shrugged.

"Of course. Everything okay?"

"Tavros is fine, thank God. You and your boy?"

"We're good," replied Dirk, putting a brotherly, slightly protective arm around Dave's shoulders. "Dave's a tough kid."

"Remember not to be too tough, boys. There's much to be said about gratitude and humility tonight."

"Yeah," mumbled Dirk. "Tell me about it." There was a pause, and then Dirk continued, "Well, I think we're gonna head home, then. See you guys around sometime."

"'Bye, Tav."

"B-bye, Dave."

Dirk reached out to shake hands with Tavros's dad, who took firm hold of Dirk's proffered palm, then reached out and put another hand on Dirk's shoulder. "Don't be strangers, now," he said. "You're welcome anytime."

"Thanks," said Dirk, nodding. "Thank you."

"You kids gotta come around for dinner sometime."

"Yup, we definitely will. Thank you."

Finally, Tavros's dad let go of Dirk, and the Striders headed out of the hospital. It was later in the evening now, but the heat was still moist and intense. They caught a bus home, Dave pressing fingers to different parts of his face, testing the pain.

When they got home, Dave headed straight to his room, but Dirk stopped in the kitchen and said, "Hold on."

Dave stopped, halfway down the hall to his room. He considered ignoring his brother, pretending like he couldn't hear, then turned back around and slipped back into the kitchen, standing against the wall closest to the door, tucking his hands behind his back.

For a while, Dirk said nothing, taking off his shades and inspecting them carefully, then replacing them on his face. He looked up at Dave then and asked, "Was Tav with you when Gamzee showed up?"

Dave blinked. "Why?" he asked.

Dirk shrugged.

There was a silence. And then Dave replied, "No."

"You were alone?"

"Gamzee had a bunch of idiots with him, as usual. The, uh. The Zahhak kid. I don't know his name."

"Equius."

"Yeah."

"So it's not like – the kid didn't come after you, just you and him."

"No. Did it look like that? Because from my vantage point it looked like one kid beat the shit outta me while a bunch of other assholes stood there and watched. Or was I mistaken?"

"No, right. I just wanted to make sure."

"Make sure of what?"

Dirk shifted uncomfortably.

"Bro."

"Look, all I'm sayin' is that kid is sick in the head, okay. He's a sick fuck and he's a lot bigger than you and, you should'a seen the way he was lookin' at you. Like you was a piece of meat."

Dave stepped away from the wall slightly, feeling suddenly completely aware of his body, his long limbs, unsure what to do with himself. He felt an indignant stirring in his stomach and he knew it was irrational, but indulged it anyway: "What are you even implying?"

"I'm not _implying_ anything. I'm sayin' that I don't trust that kid around nobody, okay, and assholes like him make easy targets outta kids like you, you gotta know that."

"Kids like me? Skinny brown gay kids, is that what you mean?"

"I was justaskin'. That's all."

"I'm not _looking_ for trouble, bro. I don't know why he does shit like this. He's psychotic. Everybody knows that."

"I didn't say you were lookin' for trouble. I didn't say that at all, I know that, I'm just lettin' you know that that kid is really fuckin' dangerous, and hell, I'd just _love _a reason to get him put away for-"

"You _want_ a reason?"

Dirk met his brother's gaze.

"Are you looking for a reason? Is that why you just asked me that?"

"No. No, 'course not-"

"Is _this_," Dave held a hand up to his face, "not a _good enough_ reason? What would be better? We gonna wait 'til he makes me suck his cock, or-"

"_Dave_, Jesus, I didn't mean that."

Dave fell silent. He crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall again, refusing to look at his brother. "I know," he admitted. "Sorry. Just feel like. Feel like shit right now, is all."

"You look like shit."

"Thanks."

"Broke your shades."

"Yeah. John's gonna be pretty messed up about that."

"John's gonna be pretty messed up about this whole thing."

"Yeah. Whatever. I guess."

"Okay. You're done. Go update your blog."

"I don't have a- whatever."

"_Whatever_. Begone, child."

Dave left for his room without even remotely attempting to come up with a witty reply. A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door and Dirk came in, placed two pills by the side of Dave's computer.

"For the pain. Better living through drugs, son."

"Okay."

Dirk hesitated for a moment, then left again. Not long after that, there was a gentle _beep _from his speakers as someone began Pestering him; pink text. Goddammit, he was not in the mood for Rose's psycho-bullshit today, and-

TG: dave?

TG: daveeeeeeeeeee are you okkkkkkkkkk

TG: ms lalonde what are you doing

TG: dont you know youre too old to be pestering me

TG: this is way uncool

TG: no dave dave ok i just wnated to ask how yuore doin

TG: *wanted *your

TG: *youre? your? w/e

TG: im perfectly fine

TG: did my brother talk to you

TG: poor boys distruaght

TG: DISTRUAGHT

TG: i had 2 make sure you were ok

TG: what cause you wouldnt take his word for it

TG: cuz thats what a momma does davie

TG: she makes 111%^ dure her boys are a ok

TG: *sure

TG: roxy are you drunk

TG: no i just have pooro fine motor control

TG: that oen was on purpose/

TG: POORO~~~

TG: ok roxy go back to sleep

TG: i wasnt sleeping?

TG: ok go back to whatever you do during most of your days

TG: thx for sayin something but id really just feel better if yall just backed off

TG: tell rose hi for me and dont tell her what happened

TG: too late i think yoru bro has that one coered already

TG: god

TG: *covered

TG: dangit

TG: ok whatever

TG: can yall just give us some space ok cool

TG: talk to you later roxy

TG: thanks

TG: your welcome boy

TG: somebody ouhgta act like ur momma right?


	2. ACT ONE ACT TWO

_Ring. Ring. Ring_. _Click._

"Hello? Yeah, that's me. Another meeting? Are you kidding? I can't afford to just take time off whenever I- okay. Thursday. Thursday in the morning would be good. No, he has school. Why? What for? Hold on, y'all are supposed to contact my lawyer if you make any stupid-ass decisions. You can_not_ spring this on me out of… okay. If that's all. Um, no, uh, Wednesday would work better, then. Yeah. Thanks. Sure. I'm just gonna warn you now, my lawyer's gonna be there and she is – she'll be watchin' y'all. Swear to God. Okay. Okay. Thank you. You have a nice day, ma'am."

"Why are they even coming?"

"It's just one of those interview things. It doesn't matter, they probably just want to look at the place and, like, make sure we're not, like, living in poverty."

"They don't get to bring this here. This is our home."

"Yeah, that matters a lot to them, I've figured out. Goddamn, I wish Latula was here."

"It's the middle of the fucking week, did you _not_ think she'd be busy?"

"She always makes time for us."

"We don't even pay her."

"She comes outta the goodness of her heart, okay."

"Couldn't you at least have told them _next _week, it still fucking looks like you tore me a new one-"

"Just tell 'em what happened. Ain't nothin' to be scared of."

"I'm not scared."

Dirk didn't say anything to that, only kept his eyes focused on the door. Dave looked away, something like guilt pooling in the pit of his stomach.

There was a knock. He glanced at Dave once, then Dirk went to open it, refusing to even plaster a fake smile across his face. Two women, the bitch who'd inspected the apartment and the younger, nicer one who'd spoken to Dirk. Behind them stood a man, tall and intimidating. He had a jacket on and _holy_ shit, handcuffs at his belt. Dirk hesitated when he saw the man, his eyes bulging slightly. "Is that a cop?" he asked bluntly.

"Standard protocol," answered the older woman, peering into the apartment. "May we come in, Mister Strider?"

"Right. 'Course. Come on in."

He stepped aside, and the three of them entered. Dave stood, peering at them, wearing some of his brother's old shades. Dirk had protested that it looked too much like he was trying to cover the bruises, but Dave pointed out that he kind of was, and he didn't have to say how naked he felt without them.

The younger woman shook Dave's hand, introducing herself to him, and both women sat down on the couch, Dave on the armchair, and Dirk on a seat he brought in from the kitchen. The officer stood behind the couch, his arms folded.

"Now," said the young woman, beaming at them, "we're just looking to get a little more background information to make everything a full picture here."

The other woman asked, "Didn't you say you'd have a lawyer present?"

Dirk stared at her. "She was busy," he answered.

"Okay. All right. Totally understandable." The younger one paused, then said, "I'd like to speak with Dave separately, if that's all right."

She looked to Dirk, who looked at Dave, who returned the glance, then nodded. "Okay," said Dirk. "Kitchen's right there."

"Is there somewhere just a teensy bit more private?"

"My room's clean," said Dave, standing up. "Come on."

The woman nodded and, without looking to his brother again, Dave led her down the hall, towards his room. He pulled his seat out of his desk and gestured for her to sit there, then took a seat on his bed, folding his legs.

"So," he said. "Is this the part where you ask me about my face?"

The woman smiled kindly at him. "I was wondering about that, yes."

"This asshole from school beat the crap outta me. I totally got a witness too, you can ask my friend Tavros Nitram about it, he was there."

"Who beat you up?"

"A senior."

"What was his name?"

Dave shook his head.

She moved on. "Why'd he do it?"

"I don't know. He's a total bitch."

"Could we watch our language here please, Dave? I really would prefer it if we got more accurate descriptions than just epithets."

There was a silence. Then Dave said, "I know what epithet means."

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

Dave said, "I know a lot of people like you, ma'am. A lot of teachers, a lot of counselors, a lot of social workers just lookin' to help. Everyone one'a you drops SAT vocab words to make me feel inadequate because, let's be honest here, that is the only goddamn power you got over me."

She said nothing for a moment, but leaned back away from him in the seat. "I'm sorry, Dave," she said quietly, looking legitimately sad and a little confused, "was that a threat?"

"What?" asked Dave quickly. "No. Of course not. I was just…" he trailed off, then shook his head. "Look, sorry, I'm not tryin' to, like, antagonize you. I just know exactly what you're gonna say, is all."

She watched him for a long time, and then she leaned back in and she said, "I understand that this may be a…particularly difficult topic for you to share with me, but it's really important that I ask."

"Okay. Ask."

She said nothing at first, watching him, then she opened her mouth, closed it again, and opened once more: "Would you be more comfortable if you answered questions in Spanish?"

Dave shook his head. "I don't speak Spanish," he answered.

"Doesn't your brother?"

"My dad did. When my brother started taking Spanish in high school, he started using it at home. He stopped when Dirk dropped out."

"How old were you then?"

"Like, seven. And then after our parents died, he comes back from Dallas fluent and that dumb little accent in his English. That went away after a while but shit, it was annoying. But come on. What's your damn question."

She looked at him carefully, almost curiously. "Does your brother bring women home a lot?"

"What, like – no. He doesn't."

"Men?"

"Not unless he's a very busy guy when I'm not home."

"Has he ever done anything inappropriate towards you?"

Dave stared at her. "What?"

"Has he ever…taken advantage of you in any way?"

"You mean, like. Sexually."

"Yes."

"No. A'course not. Jesus Christ. He's my brother, for fuck's sake."

"Right, yes, we know that. But I want to make it very clear that you can tell me anything, Dave. Anything inappropriate that he ever may have done around you."

"What the- did he say something, the last time you idiots interviewed him? Is that why you're here? Did he make a joke about fucking with me, is that it?"

"What kind of joke would be make?"

"Okay, it's a, it's a, like, very fine distinction in diction, okay, you got _fucking_ somebody and _fucking with _somebody, both very, very different things, okay and, Jesus, he forgets sometimes that people are, like, listening to him, and that he should at least try to be, like, civil and shit. Don't even listen to him. Just don't even listen to anything that comes outta his mouth."

"What does this mean, Dave? Are you trying to protect him?"

"Of fucking course, are you stupid? Dirk thinks he's got it all figured out, he thinks that if he just evades the system for long enough then you'll all forget about him, but that's total bullshit. Of course I'm try'na protect him."

"Are you saying that there's been something between you two that you don't-"

"No, no, fuck no, I didn't say-"

"-that you don't want to tell me about?"

"Okay. This conversation is over. When you start twisting my words, this conversation is completely over."

"Dave. Please. This is a very, very serious accusation."

Dave's eyes flashed. "Accusation?" he echoed. "Who's accusing us?"

She said nothing. Slowly, realization dawned on him.

"Right," he said, nodding. "Leave it to the mother_fucking_ Makaras."

"From what I understand, the younger one knows you well."

"He's had, like, this weird pseudo-crush on me for like two years now. I can't stand him. I can't even look at him, he's so…" He shook his head. "Look, that kid has it out for me an' my brother. I don't know why. I shouldn't even be surprised, though. He _would_ make something like this up."

"Dave, before we're done, I just have to ask. We've heard rumors from more than one source that sometimes you have bruises you certainly didn't get at school. Can you explain that to me, please?"

"I don't know where you get that shit from. I don't know why everyone is so set on turnin' Dirk into this angry, violent, predatory bastard. He's chill, when people aren't yelling at him."

"Do you ever yell at him?"

"I know how to work him."

"Would you say you're more of a guardian to him than he is to you?"

"No. He pays the bills. He buys the food. He's in charge here."

"Is that how he justifies it to you?"

"Hold on, isn't it, like, illegal to ask these kinds of questions to kids? I mean, you're totally leading me, right?"

"I'm just trying to get the truth."

"No, you're looking for an excuse to separate us."

"That's the opposite of what I want to do, Dave."

"I _really_ doubt that."

There was a tense, sour silence.

Then Dave said, "He's never hurt me. Never. Not once. Never laid a goddamn hand on me, not even when our parents were alive, when I was his stupid little brother after ten years a'being an only child. I know what you think a'him – I know what everybody thinks about him, believe me – and it's just so wrong. He doesn't _like_ fighting, it's just that he's really fuckin' smart and it makes him so angry when people talk down to him, which people _always_ do. He's a nice guy. He legitimately is. All he does all day is work and come home and he used to work on like these cool robotics things but that got too expensive so he's into puppets now. Puppets. He spends way too much time on them because he's gotta channel all those brains into somethin'. And it makes me so mad, how hard he's pushin' me for college, because I ain't remotely as smart as him. Not at all. And he's been working at this stupid gym and sewing puppets for years now because the only thing he wants is for me to do something. I _do not understand_ why everyone has to think that he's so inadequate or gross or irresponsible. He's the most put-together, responsible dudes I know."

Dave shook his head, clenching and unclenching his jaw.

"Sometimes," he began, his voice lower now, "sometimes I have this dream. I have this dream where he's married to Miz Lalonde, you know, Roxy. And Rose, her daughter, she's my sister, and," he hesitated, exhaled, "…and he's my dad."

He was silent, and then he looked up suddenly, meeting her gaze, looking slightly bewildered.

"Sorry," he said, shaking his head. "That wasn't…"

"No," she said, before he said any more. "That means something, Dave. Thank you."

He nodded, but tore his eyes away, his face slightly flushed, embarrassed.

That was it; they returned to the others sitting in the living room. Dirk was sitting unnaturally stiffly, his face pale and jaw clenched. Not a few minutes later, the two women and the police officer shuffled out, Dirk softly closing the door behind them. He didn't move for a moment, then turned around. Dave looked up at him from his seat.

"Did they tell you what this was about?" Dave asked his brother quietly.

Dirk nodded.

"I have no idea how these kinds'a things keep getting around."

"They're just lookin' for an excuse."

"It's total bullshit. It's like somebody literally just pulled it outta their ass."

A pause. "You think it was Gamzee?"

"Yeah. It was."

"Sounds like him. Obsessed with you gettin' fucked by somebody, you know?"

"He's just a stupid asshole who gets his kicks by thinkin' about somebody gettin' skullfucked. I don't know why I'm the target of his perverted delusions, man, I really don't."

"Right."

Dave didn't say anything.

Another moment, and then Dirk said, "Dave."

"Yeah?"

"You haven't been fucking around at all, right?"

He turned his head to stare at his brother. "Literally fucking?"

Dirk nodded, giving a little shrug.

Dave stared at him and then asked bluntly, "Are we really going to have this conversation right now?"

"Second time this week you've alluded to a cock in your mouth-"

"_What?_"

"-not to mention the fact that I was supposed to talk to you about this shit, like, three years ago-"

"_Christ_, Bro."

"-and this is pretty awkward already so I figure why not go the whole hog right now, right?"

Dave groaned. "Can I recover from being questioned about incestuous molestation, first?"  
Dirk shrugged, his body tightly wound, then asked bluntly, "So _are _you fuckin' around at all?"

"I'm going steady with a kid a thousand miles away. What do you think."

"Haveyou ever?"

"Well, there…" he trailed off, not looking at his brother, then continued, "Not unless you count John and me on Skype when his dad's at work."

"No? Not you and, like Terezi?"

"Terezi? Shit, do you _know _the girl?"

"What about you and Tavros?"

"_Tav?_"

"Okay," said Dirk, shrugging pointedly. "Guess not."

"Look, bro, you don't even have to… I'm… Look, I'm gonna be with John for a while, okay. A really long time. And that means unless he comes down here, I'm not gonna be fucking _anybody_."

"When he does-"

"I don't even know when and if that'll, like, ever even happen, but whatever, okay, I think I've seen enough porn to figure it out, so we can stop here."

There was a pause, then Dirk said, "It doesn't work like porn."

"Okay, right, because you know everything."

"You don't think I know?"

"Look, no offense, bro, but the mechanics are different, okay. Not the same thing."

Dirk looked at him. "What?" he asked. "You don't think I gone down on a dude before?"

Dave looked at him. Dirk looked right back. "No," said Dave. "Who do you…" at the look in his brother's eye, Dave asked, "You and _Jake_?"

Dirk nodded, slightly indignantly. "Are you kidding me? Did you not pick up on five years' worth of hints from Roxy, or…?"

"I thought you and her…"

"She's old enough to be your _mom_, kiddo. Her daughter is _older _than you. Li'l bit too creepy for me."

"Too creepy for _you?_"

Dirk grinned. "My point is," he said, "you're, like. You're old enough to be doin' this shit, but you don't know shit about it yet, so just, like. Talk to me if you need it. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Dirk. We really need to sit around and hold hands and talk about our feelings more."

"Don't mouth off to me, boy."

"I consider this your blessing for consensual sexual relations between John and me, by the way. I'll go tell him that, swear to God he'll get a plane ticket right now to come down here, retreat into my room for a couple days."

"Pft. Kids like you two'd be done in twenty minutes."

Dave grinned, as his brother headed into the kitchen. "That didn't sound very supportive!"

Dirk called, "It'd be a very _nice_ twenty minutes." Dave laughed. "Mac 'n' cheese for lunch?"

"Sounds good," replied Dave, and he breathed easy.

_Ring. Ring. Click._

"Hello? Yeah. Right. What? No, no, there's got to be some kind of mistake. We already did this. We already went through this, we had an interview, you came to – how? What? No. You got no reason for that. Look, I know my rights – bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. You can bet. Hell yeah I'll have my lawyer call you. I bet she has a thing or two to say about this horseshit. Right. Whatever."

Turn of a key, door opening. "Boys? We're here."

Dave was in the kitchen, finishing a bowl of cereal; he called, "Just a second," and went and knocked on his brother's door. "Bro," he said. "Latula's here."

"Coming."

"Made you some coffee."

"Be right out."

Dave went out to the living room; Latula had put down her purse (briefcase? Too big for a purse) on the couch and was rifling through it, taking out a large folder. Terezi grinned when she heard Dave. "Hey," he said.

"Good morning," replied Terezi. "Doing well?"

"Only when I'm not trying to keep Dirk from leading a violent military coupe of the Houstonian judicial system."

"I sure know how that is. Momma Pyrope's been on the warpath basically since, well, always."

"I'm a lawyer, baby," answered Latula smartly. "That's my job." Dirk entered, a coffee cup in hand, went to Latula, who reached out and took his hand. "How are you?" she asked.

"Pissed," he answered. "Hey, Terezi."

"What up, Mister Strider."

"You and Dave wanna take off? Walk around the block or something, we'll get this done quick."

"I gotta be somewhere in an hour and a half, _better_ be fuckin' quick."

"Right," said Terezi, smirking. "And God knows I don't wanna be around for the inevitable sloppy make-outs."

"I can't help it. Oh, Mister Strider, you're just _too_ handsome."

"Yes," said Dirk, and he swept his hair back dramatically. "So I've been told."

Dave rolled his eyes. "Okay," he said, taking hold of Terezi's hand, "bye."

A few minutes later, they were in the lazy morning heat of the Texan fall, strolling down the sidewalk, arm-in-arm. There was silence for a few moments, and then Terezi asked, "So I guess you shouldn't have blown all that therapy money on, you know, groceries."

"Don't even start."

"Just sayin'. As if your life's general shittiness weren't enough, somebody out there thinks you're fucking your brother. Wow."

Dave sighed. "I know," he said. "It's kinda like…I don't know, just seems like, this _would_ happen to us, right? Everything always does."

"Eh. Could be worse."

"It could _always_ be worse."

"At least you're still with him," she said soothingly. "At least he's not, like, in prison or something."

"For now."

"I talked it over with my mom," she told him. "They can't do anything."

Dave didn't say anything for a moment. "Are you sure?"

"No proof. Unless you told them about something, they literally don't have anything on you. Don't worry about it."

"Gamzee's dad-"

"Is rich, but not _that_ rich. Not rich enough to do anything serious to you guys. Other than, like, you know, make your life a living hell."

"Oh. Okay. That's…something."

"But they already do that, right? So no problem."

"Aw, gee, Terezi. I don't know what I'd do without you. Always so understanding."

"Your flattery and pandering will get you nowhere, loverboy. I'm officially taken."

"Are you? News to me. Let me guess, Vriska back in town?"

"She's not, actually. I don't think she'll be back anytime soon, considering, you know, what happened with your brother and her mom last time."

"Okay so I know we're lucky she didn't press charges, but in his defense she _totally_ deserved it."

"Right."

"Moving on."

"His name is Karkat."

They stopped at a crosswalk. He hit a button. "Karkat," he said, tasting the sounds as they came from his mouth. "I feel like I've heard that name before."

"He knows John."

"Not from John, I don't think."

"Well, if you could believe it, he's actually living with Kanaya's mom right now."

"Kanaya? Rose's friend?"

"Yep."

The light turned green and they stepped out into the street. "Maybe Rose mentioned him. Now that I think about it, I think Jade may have said somethin' about him."

"Yeah, well, speaking of guardians in prison, guess where his dad is."

"What? What for? Hey, say something badass, like, like a revenge murder or something."

"He…it's a really stupid thing."

"Tell me."

"His dad, like, he's one of those guys where he thinks that he's like, sent from God or whatever, and so he was always talking about like, the end of the world and shit, and how there are evil corporations trying to take over the world and stuff…anyway, he broke into this company and broke a lot of shit and caused a lot of damage and tried to kill some people. Total psychotic break, you know, like we knew he was a little unscrewed but nobody saw that coming. I mean, I've known Karkat since I was like a little grubby kid, I've been over to his house before, his dad was a little weird but not… whatever. The company pressed some serious charges and so Kanaya's mom's looking after him and his brother. His brother's in college now, though, so mostly he's gone all the time. Which is good, because Karkat hates him. And so does, like, everyone."

"When was this?"

"Like, ninth grade for you. The week I spent with the Serkets before I went back for the month? My mom was his lawyer."

"Wait, okay, John knows this kid?"

"Yeah. Yeah, they weren't really good friends before, but, you know. Things happen."

"It's weird that I never heard about this. He knows I love hearin' all that Washingtonian Wisteria Lane drama."

"The fact that you can even _reference_ Desperate Housewives-"

"This is a judgment-free zone, TZ, unless you'd like me to go back to the Serkets for a second. I ain't done judgin' you for tappin' that."

She said nothing, grinning. They arrived at that same little park Dave liked so much, heading to the bleachers, laying out on them. "What was the company?"

"What?"

"The company this kid's dad attacked. What was it?"

She hesitated for a moment, then said, "General Mills."

Dave frowned for a second, then asked, "Is that the food company?"

"Yeah."

"Is that, like. That's, like, the Cheerios and Betty Crocker company, isn't it?"

"Yes, Dave. It is."

For a second, nothing. And then Dave let out an ill-disguised chortle of laughter.

"This is very serious, Dave."

"Betty fuckin' Crocker?"

"Shut up."

"No, seriously, that's fantastic. Evil witch, am I right? The frosting witch. The baking witch. The, the fucking batter witch, am I right? Oh, Jesus, that's great."

"Don't even, Dave."

He coughed a little, wheezing out his last breath of laughter. "Okay. Okay. Sorry. I'm done." There was a pause, and he coughed, then asked, "So. What's he like?"

"Karkat?"

"Yeah."

"He's…intense."

"Just like all of your romantic pursuits, let's be honest here."

"You wouldn't get along with him."

"Also just like all of your previous romantic pursuits, wow."

"But he's a good guy. He's a little sensitive, sure, but he tries really hard."

"To what?"

"To…I don't know, just to _be_."

"Sounds kinda messy. I'm not interested."

"He kind of reminds me of you."

Dave looked at her. She didn't look back, only stared straight ahead, as usual, a little smile on her face. "How?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Like I said, he tries really hard."

"And I try really hard? To do what?"

"You know. To be super ultra-ironic cool."

"Hey, I am ultra-ironic cool. I taught you everything you know."

"Yeah, but…I mean, if you were a little more self-conscious – okay, outwardly self-conscious, you know, instead of going and crying alone to John or fucking with your brother whenever you get your feelings hurt – then, you know, you'd be a lot like him."

"Rude."

"I mean, that's probably why John likes him so much."

He stiffened slightly. "What?"

"They used to not get along, but, you know. That was mainly because, I don't know, John gets freaked out pretty easy."

"Freaked out?"

"Karkat had this thing for him for a _long_ damn time. It was just really awkward, really. I don't even get what he saw in him, but it was pretty pathetic for a while."

"What?"

"He got over it, though. I mean, Porrim – Kanaya's mom – Porrim put him into therapy, which apparently isn't going that well, but anyway it helped him a lot in the beginning and we've been talking and like, we're totally a thing now, Dave. _Totally_ a thing_._"

"Hold on. This kid had a thing with John?"

"Unrequited, mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Completely. John let him down easy."

"When was this?"

"With John? About the same time the shit with his dad was going down. It was just a really awkward couple of months for everybody."

"Freshman year?"

"Yes. You and John weren't even a thing then so you can calm your tits, okay. Jesus."

"Okay, first of all, look at me, my tits are completely calm. I mean, you know. Sorry. Second of all, I think it's perfectly understandable that this is a little startling to me."

"Startling, sure. But don't worry, my boyfriend poses no threat to yours, I promise."

"I'm not worried about – John's just never told me about him, is all."

"Maybe it just never occurred to him to let you know."

"Well, I don't know, I sort of think that it's the sort of thing that he should've told me about."

"Okay. You're starting to cross that line into possessive as fuck."

"I'm not-"

"It was a weird time for all of us. Ugh, God, I shouldn't have even mentioned it. I apologize, I just thought you might be interested that I have moved on completely from my last relationship."

"Yeah. Right, that's good. You know me and Vriska, hate that bitch."

"Did you know she's been hanging out with John a lot?"

"He knows that I don't like her. Doesn't talk about her much. A silence. And then Dave asked, "You don't think she and John-"

"No, Dave. I don't think so."

"Right. Because, like, when she was here, she was like…all over. Right? I mean, you…and Tavros…"

"Methinks somebody needs to talk out his insecurities with his boyfriend."

"I don't know, okay, I'm just, you know. I'm off my game. What with being interrogated about sexual conduct with-"

"Misconduct."

"What?"

"Sexual misconduct, not conduct. Legal terminology."

"Right. Anyway. Sexual misconduct, whatever, with my brother. Kind of threw me off. Weird dreams last night."

"Woah, TMI."

"Not, like – okay, _no_, not like that."

"Judgment-free zone, we just said that."

"No, I mean like. Look."

He stood up, shaking his head.

"I get this dream sometimes. And, it's like I'm trapped. I'm trapped some place and it's burning up, so hot-"

"Sounds like home."

"Right. And it's so hot, and like I can hardly hear myself even thinking because everything's so loud. Like, machinery, or clocks or something. And every single time, every single time I get this stupid dream, my brother's there."

"Yeah."

"But, like, he's only there for a second. It's like – no matter where I am, he's always there for a split second, and he's just far enough that I can't get to him. Sometimes he's with Rose's mom. And Rose is there too. Sometimes he's with Rose's mom and it's weird, but like, he's there for just a second, and then he leaves and he takes her with him and I'm still trapped there without him. But sometimes yeah, Rose is with me too, and it's like…I don't know. It's like we're related or something. Those are okay."

He paused, shaking his head, running his hand through his hair.

"But then, sometimes, especially lately, I get these dreams where I'm trapped and it's really hot and loud, and I see him, and he's doing something really fucking badass, but by the time I get to him…"

He trailed off. "Yeah?" asked Terezi.

"When I get to him, he's dead."

"Dead?"

"Like some sword shoved straight through his chest. Sometimes I get those dreams and I don't even, I'm not even crying or anything. I don't feel anything. Just watching him. Hot, and loud, and…"

He shook his head. There was silence.

Then Terezi said, "Well, Rose would say-"

"Rose says it's Freudian. Subconscious desire to kill my dad and bone my mom, substituting my brother and her mom as my parents."

"She said that?"

"Yeah."

"Damn. How long have you been getting these dreams?"

"Couple years. The ones where he dies, though. I get those more often lately."

"Last night?"

"Yeah."

Terezi nodded thoughtfully. "Well, it probably does have something to do with all this scandal around you guys right now. It'd probably be a worse sign if you weren't getting bad dreams. It's a lot of stress."

"You think Dirk's gonna be okay?"

"Um, yeah. I don't know, really. He's been doing _really_ well. I think the medication has really helped."

"I feel so bad about that."

"Why? He's kept a job down for like a year now, it's great."

"I shouldn't have to sneak it in his coffee."

"He won't take it otherwise. You know that."

"It's fuckin' wrong."

"It's the best thing for him."

"Doesn't make it right."

"Are you going to stop?"

Dave said nothing. He shook his head. "But I don't like it. I don't like any of this shit. I don't _like_ people gettin' all up in _our_ business, they got no right. I don't like him having to put up with idiots who treat him like crap. I wish Roxy was here. I wish she _ever_ came down here."

Terezi didn't say anything, then shrugged. "I mean. You know their type, right."

"What do you mean?"

"Rich bitches. Am I right?"

"No," said Dave curtly. "You're not."

There was a silence. Then Dave went to sit back down beside her again.

"Hey," he said. "Thanks for coming out here. I know you probably have school and stuff, so."

"Pre-law's boring anyway."

"But thanks. You're never around anymore, it sucks."

"Well, you have Tavros."

"He's cool, but I miss all the sexual tension we used to have."

"So sweet."

He leaned against her, letting out a quiet sigh. "I miss you."

"You do okay without me."

"When have I ever been okay."

They fell into another silence. Eventually, Terezi's phone buzzed with a text from her mom, and they headed back to the apartment, where Latula was collecting papers. "So," she was saying, as Terezi and Dave entered. "Just, keep your nose clean, and they've got no reason to come back for you. They might try to, but don't worry, I'll get on their ass. They don't have anything, okay? You're perfectly fine." She turned around and smiled at the kids. "Had fun?"

"So much fun," replied Terezi. "We were just heading to this group orgy when you texted me."

"Aw, damn. Sorry about that, kids. Didn't mean to cramp your style."

"It's okay, Mom. We should've invited you, anyways."

Latula laughed and stood up, briefcase in hand. "You'll be okay, Dirk," she said, leaning down and pressing her lips against his head, a reassuring palm on his shoulder. "Call me if you aren't." Dirk said nothing, sitting there stilly. Latula swept over to Dave. "You too. And remember, next time they ask you for an interview, make sure they record the whole thing."

"Right."

"Okay. Sorry boys, but I have to run. I'd make Terezi stay but she's got a class, right?"

"I could blow it off."

"I don't think so. C'mon. See you later, Dirk, Dave."

Only Dave replied. "'Bye. See you, Terezi."

"Later, Dave."

The door closed behind them.

Dave turned to look at his brother sitting on the couch.

"So…"

"Things are fine," replied Dirk, before Dave could even finish his question. "We're good. Sounds like it's more of, like, like a reputation thing. Plus you're eighteen next year, so. It's mostly just for show."

"What does that mean? I mean, like, what happens? Are you gonna lose your job or something?"

"No, no. We should be okay."

"What's the point, then?"

"There's no point. It's just to make us look bad."

"To who?"

"To _everybody_." Dirk twitched a little bit, then jerked his head around to look at Dave. Dave couldn't tell if he was seeing things, or if his brother was trembling. "Goddammit, Dave. _Everybody_ fuckin' knows. Everybody thinks-" he broke off, unable to speak.

"Yeah, and since when have we cared what other people think, huh? Since when does that matter?"

"It _does_ matter, okay, Dave, it does matter. I tell you it doesn't because I don't want you worryin' about us. It fuckin' matters what they think, okay."

"Look, you're just…you're just angry right now. Just calm down."

"Fuckin' angry doesn't cover it, dumbass. I'm pissed. I swear to God. I'll kill him."

"Bro."

"I'mma kill everybody. God! Fuck everybody, I swear."

"Dirk-"

"No, you know what, you're right. You're totally right. It doesn't fuckin' matter what they think of us because it's always gonna be the same, you know that? It's always the same. It doesn't matter what they think of us because _we _don't matter, Dave, you remember that. We don't fuckin' matter to them."

"I'm gonna call John, okay?"

"Do whatever the fuck you want. I'm goin' out."

"Please don't."

"I can do what I want. I'mma take a walk."

"_Please_ don't."

"Why the _fuck_ not, huh? You gonna tell me what to do too, s'at it?"

Dave glanced up at his brother, standing right before him, face red, breathing too heavily. For a second, he didn't move, and then Dirk let out a big sigh and took off his shades, turning away, rubbing his face.

"Yeah," he muttered. "I'm just…I need a second."

"Okay."

"You don't need to call John. Or, whoever. I wasn't gonna do anything."

Dave watched him sit back down on the couch, holding his head. "No," said Dave cautiously. "I was, like, actually gonna call John. About something else. Not – I wouldn't even – I wasn't going to like, call the police or something."

"Are you afraid of me?"

Dave stared at his brother. "What?"

"They asked me that," mumbled Dirk, without looking up. "Forever ago. They asked me if I scared you."

"I'm not-"

"Just tell me. So I know."

"I – well, I guess I get scared _for _you sometimes, you know, when you get all manic and stuff. But I ain't scared a'you. I could take you, I know that. I mean we _know_ that right, we know – I can hit you, but you're not gonna…that's not how you…"

"I won't tell them. Just let me know."

"I'm not afraid of you. I think you're really scared right now and you have no idea what to do so you're projecting that onto me. So I'mma go call John now."

"Dave-"

"Please just let me go."

Silence. Dirk said nothing. He lay down on the couch. Dave retreated to his room.

_Ring. Ring. Click_.

"Hey, Mister Egbert, it's Dave Strider… Good. No, everything's fine, it's okay, I'm sorry, I know it's early but I was just wonderin' if I could talk to John? Yeah, no, I'm sure I'm okay. Promise. Yeah, I'd let you know. A'course. Right. Oh, um, don't wake him up, then, it's fine, I'll just talk to him – okay. Cool. Thank you. Thanks."

The sounds of the phone changing hands. Dave distinctly heard John's father ask, "_So, champ? What'll it be? Pancakes or omelets?_" and had to pat down envy in his belly. "_Pancakes, Dad, that'd be great_."

"Dave? Hello?"

"John. Hey. What's up."

"Um, I woke up like ten minutes ago. I haven't really even turned my computer on, ha ha, sorry. So glad it's the weekend. You know how it is."

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

"Do you need something? I mean, you don't call all that much…"

"No, I just… Yeah, I don't know, I guess I just really wanted to hear your voice, or something."

Dave could hear him nibbling on a fingernail. "Did something happen?"

"No. Just have to put up with my brother's shit. As usual."

"What'd he do?"

"I don't know. He thinks he's so…I don't know. He just gets on my nerves sometimes."

"Is that, like, investigation thingy still going on?"

"Yeah. It's such bullshit. Our lawyer, um, Terezi's mom, actually, she came over today and talked him through everything. Apparently like half the stuff they've done already is like illegal."

"You should sue them back."

"It won't do anything."

"It's so unfair, they shouldn't be able to do stuff like that. I'll talk to my dad. He knows about business stuff like that, maybe he'll have some advice."

"It's not really a business thing, it's a law thing."

"Well, my dad knows some lawyers."

"It's okay, John. Just. Terezi's mom will take care of this."

"This is so weird. It sort of makes me think, like, do I want to live in a world where people can just, like, take you away from your mom or dad? Or, like, guardian? Gosh, it's like. Wow."

A totally unwarranted rush of affection for John. "Yeah, who needs laws and shit. Let's run away. Let's go to, like. Wherever Jade lives. They don't have rules there."

"Oh my God, yeah. Where does she even live, though? I don't even know."

"On an island or something. Why her Wi-Fi is such shit."

"We could invite Rose. And then have a party."

"Genius."

John laughed, and Dave closed his eyes, breathing slowly.

"John," he said.

"Yeah?"

"Um. Do you know this kid Karkat?"

"Karkat Vantas?"

"Yeah. I don't know. Probably."

"I know him."

Nothing. "Well…Terezi said that she's kind of, like. Dating him."

"Oh. That's good. Terezi would probably be really good for him, he's a tough kid."

"A tough kid."

"Have you heard about his dad?"

"Yes, but not until, like, today. How come nobody ever told me this shit?"

"I don't know, it's kind of local. I, for one, do have to say that while I may not have agreed with Mister Vantas's tactics, I completely agree with his mission. There is something so wrong with Betty Crocker's wizened old mug plastered everywhere, branding all baking products..."

"What the fuck, John you're like _related _to Betty Crocker. Your cousin works for her. Like literally, baking department."

"Jane is a misled soul, Dave. Don't judge her for that."

"What the _fuck_, John."

"What, what? I'm kidding, that was a joke."

"No, I…" he paused, then it spilled out of his mouth, "Why have I never heard about Karkat until now?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes, you do. You and him."

"Me and him? What? We know each other, I guess? We're not, like, really good friends. Did you know Jade knows him?"

"I – yeah, I did know that, but – what, were you just not going to tell me that you had a fuckin' admirer?"

"What? Are you talking about his crush on me?"

"_Yes_, John, I'm talking about his crush on you."

"That was a long time ago, okay. And I didn't know I had to tell you about every single time somebody'd been all, oh, John, I love you so much, you're so sexy."

"_What?_ _What _did he say to you?"

"He didn't say that to me. Not in as many words, I mean."

"Okay, wait, has this happened with _more _than one person?"

"Well, there was Karkat, and then there was you-"

"Look, I'm serious here."

"Me too."

"Just. Whatever. Sorry. I'm just freaked out already today. I didn't call just to yell at you."

"That's okay. I'm here either way, so."

Dave hesitated. "But seriously, was there anyone else?"

"Uhm, well, there was this girl."

Dave felt his heart miss a beat. "A girl?" he repeated.

"I don't know, she's kinda new here. A lot of people don't like her but I think she's cool."

"Oh, Christ. You're talking about Vriska."

"I don't see what's so bad about her, Dave. She's cool."

"She's a total heart-breaking back-stabbing bitch."

"Somebody sounds like he got jilted."

"Dude, do not joke about her. She's fuckin' psycho."

"Maybe you only think that because you never got to know her."

"Or maybe she tore apart Terezi _and _Tavros _and_ her mom almost killed my brother. Maybe that."

A silence. "Her sister's cool."

Dave let out a loud sigh. "Whatever. Okay. We're done."

"What?"

"Talking, I mean. I just. Sorry. I feel better now, I actually do. I know you wouldn't…you know?"

"Right. Absolutely, man, like. Like our song, right?"

"John-"

"_And tell me now, how do I live without you?_"

"John."

"_I want to know, how do I breathe without you?_"

"John, please stop."

"_If you ever go, how do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh, how do I live? _Cue badass saxophone solo."

"For the last damn time, our song is gonna be a Kanye ballad or you can kick me to the fuckin' curb. Plus that movie sucks."

"Says the mastermind behind Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff_._"

"Oh, woah. Is this how you really feel?"

"Dave. I'm sorry to tell you, but your webcomic really sucks."

"Egbert, I don't love you anymore."

"Oh my God, I think I'm crying."

A quiet call from John's end. "_John! Come on down, food's ready!_"

Dave could hear John take the phone away from his ear and call in reply, "In a second, Dad!" then John returning: "I gotta go soon."

Dave nodded even though he knew John couldn't see, and laid down on his bed. "I wish you were here," he said, his voice suddenly low.

John didn't reply for a second, then he said, "Me too. But, like, it's not that bad, right? You have Terezi. And Tavros. And your brother, when he's not being a jerk."

"No, John, I mean…I wish you were _here_. With me. Right now."

Another silence on the other end of the line. An uneasy, "Dave…"

"Are you in bed?"

A whisper: "Dave, now's not really a good time-"

"Why not?"

"My dad – my dad's making breakfast."

"Come on."

"Please, please, please, just – raincheck. This one time."

Dave said nothing for a moment, one hand at the waistband of his pants. He hesitated, then withdrew. "Fine," he said. "But later tonight. With video."

"Yes, uh-huh. Whatever makes you feel better."

"You don't sound all that excited."

"I'm about to go eat some pancakes with my dad, I'm actively trying _not_ to get excited."

"Okay. Alright, you go ahead and have your little apple-pie breakfast. Check the pancake mix your dad used. Bet'chya it's Betty Crocker."

"Aw, damn, Dave, why do you always have to-"

"Good morning, babe. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. I love you. 'Bye."

Dave's heart froze a little bit. "Yeah," he said, eyes closed. "I love you too."

_Click_.


	3. ACT ONE ACT THREE

"I'm sorry, _what_ do they expect me to do?"

"It's nothing. It doesn't mean anything, it's just for show."

"Are they gonna _arrest _me?"

"No. They can't. I promise."

"Why they _fuck _do they need me to go down to the fucking _police _station, what the _fuck_ is going on?"

"I'm sorry, Dirk, but I don't have any power over this. It's wrong, yeah, I know. But the consequences of _not _doing it are worse than if you just suck it up and go."

A silence. "Does Dave have to come with me?"

"They need to interview him again. Yeah. This time I'll be right there the whole time, with you, and I'll make sure they record his interview and as soon as this is over you'll be able to watch it and see what he says."

"I'm not fucking…this is such a fuckin' joke."

"It is. It really is. It's a mockery of the social care system and I am really, really sorry that they're putting you through this. You don't deserve this shit."

"I can't afford to take off another day a'work, Latula. On probation, as is."

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Dirk. This is so unfair."

"Ain't there somethin' you can do?"

"I'm a lawyer, not a – you know what I mean."

"I'mma lead a fuckin' revolution. I'mma go get Tavros's daddy and we gonna shoot some bitches."

"Don't even joke. I've had to defend people who did that in the past. It doesn't turn out well."

"I just wanna go home. And go to work, and go to those, those fuckin' parent-teacher things. Those are next week. I gotta go to those, Latula."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I just wanna…"

"I know. It's okay, Dirk."

"I can't do this."

"Yes you can. Hold on. Hold on, hold on, don't. Don't. Just breathe. You're okay, Dirk."

"I-"

"Don't say anything. Keep breathing. Slow down. You're okay."

Quiet, gentle sounds. Crying.

Dave sat against his door, his legs pulled into his chest. He would rock back and forth but he didn't have the energy. He just listened to Latula softly comforting his brother, her soothing, repetitive _shhhh_s. Didn't she know that no one could calm him down except for Roxy. Didn't she know that Dirk doesn't fucking need pity, he needs someone to whip him off his ass and make him _do _something. Jesus.

"Are they gonna take him?"

"No. I promise."

"I c- they can't. He's my brother. I been shit to him but I always been shit to my family. You know when my parents died, Latula?"

"Yes. That was a long time ago."

"I didn't say a fuckin' word to them for two years before they died."

"That's okay. You look after Dave for them."

"I been shit to my family, Latula. I ain't lettin' them take him."

"It's okay, Dirk. Calm down. It's okay."

Dave pressed the back of his head against his door, unmoving, his face damp with tears he hadn't even known he'd had.

"Is that thing on?"

"Would you prefer it weren't?"

"You can't legally turn it off."

The woman – the bitch social worker – looked at Dave, her eyes nearly bugging out of her head. She had a stern, stubborn face, hard and unflinching. Dave wondered what it'd feel like to hit it. "So I can't," she said, nodding. "Do you feel like you can speak freely still, Mister Strider?"

"Sure. I guess. Missus…"

"Miz Megido."

Dave narrowed his eyes in thought. "Megido?" he asked, leaning back in his seat, putting his feet on the cold steel table. "Do you have a daughter at my-"

"My niece."

"Aradia. Right?"

"Yes."

"Do you know Tavros Nitram?"

"No."

"Oh. She used to have a thing with him. What happened to her?"

"We're getting off-topic here."

"She have an accident or something? She's a lot different this year."

"Dave. I want to talk to you about your brother."

"Doesn't everybody. God, he's a popular man."

"Let's try to be serious."

"Okay. Let's."

Silence. They met each other's gaze, both still and defiant. "I see you have a fresh bruise on your arm," she noticed, glancing at his wrist. His sleeves were slightly rolled up because of the heat in the room, and a yellowing bruise was visible there. "Can you tell me where you got that?"

"I bruise easy."

"What happened?"

"I fell."

"On your arm?"

"I live up fourteen flights of stairs, is it really all that surprising."

"I've heard that excuse many times, Dave. I can count the number of times it's been true on one hand."

"Oh, cool. Am I the instance that requires a second hand? No, wait, hold on, don't answer that. I can find a way to turn that into an innuendo. Wait."

"You're evading, Dave."

"I ain't evading shit. You're the ones evading. You think my brother's been bad-touching me, lady? _Really?_ _My _brother? You have all that psychological analytical shit on him, you tell me. Is he the kind of guy who touches little boys? And also, second of all, I'm five-eleven, does that still qualify me as a _little _or do I get upped to, like, altar boy status?"

"Dave. Please."

"Dirk can't do shit. He can't handle shit, he can't work for shit, he can't do anything. He's so damn smart it's crippling. And okay, I can say cripple, my best friend is in a wheelchair. Anyway, my point is that Dirk's not gonna hurt anybody. He's gonna get really mad and really sad sometimes, but never gonna hurt nobody."

"Anybody."

"I have fucking _mastered _the English language, _Miz_ Megido, I get to treat it like I want now."

"Dave, last year there was a rumor of a very disturbing occurrence between you and your brother."

"Like every other fuckin' day of my life."

"Considering the accusations being brought to light now, I have to ask you about them."

"Shoot."

"It was…around February of last year."

"Yeah."

"Your neighbors reported hearing disturbing noises?"

"What, do you interview our fuckin' neighbors now?"

"Actually, we do. We always have."

Dave eyed her suspiciously. "We fight all the time," he said finally. "We yell, it don't mean nothing."

"These noises," she said, taking off her glasses, looking at him grimly, "were characterized as sexual in nature."

Dave stared at her for a long while, his lip slightly curled. And then he looked away. "Well," he began. "Of fuckin' course they'd say that. Everyone likes thinkin' Dirk's creepy as hell. Don't know why."

"You want to tell me what happened then?"

"How come you've never asked about this before?"

"It was a very mild side-comment in a low-profile interview. We're busy. It was not the sort of thing we look into."

"But the Makara clan is paying you extra to look into it now, so. Why not dig up old horseshit."

"Dave."

"Ma'am, I'd prefer it if you called me Mister Strider."

"Look," she said, glaring at him. "I'm going to call you Dave. And I'm going to say this once, Dave, and then no more. I don't like this. I don't like talking to you, or your brother, or bringing you in to interview you in the interrogation room of a police station. This is not how we work. But due to the circumstances, this is the position we're put in, and I can assure you that there is no reason why you wouldn't return to your brother today, until such time as you turn eighteen and legally become responsible for yourself. Do you know why we're doing this, Dave?"

"Because you're a bunch'a dicks?"

"Because we want to humiliate you," she answered stoically. "Because _somebody_ wants to watch you two spiral. This is not my job. I am not happy with it. But I am doing it, because once it is done, it'll be over. Do you understand me, Dave?"

He watched her silently for a moment, then said, "Fine."

"All right. Let's continue."

Twenty minutes later, they were done. Dave had quelled his protests as much as possible and answered her questions shortly and civilly. By the end of the interview, she seemed somewhat pleased, as if proud of him in some way. A police officer offered him a sticker, which he declined, and a lollipop, which he gratefully accepted. As he was led back to where his brother was being questioned (he heard that distinction; _interviewed_ for him, _questioned_ for his brother), there was suddenly a loud racket, somebody shouting. Dave froze. Right. Of course.

He watched several policemen throw themselves at his brother, who was red in the face, fuming, screaming madly at whoever was standing near the back of the station; Dave couldn't quite see, because the woman who'd interviewed him (who was sighing loudly, and obnoxiously) was in the way. Finally they dragged Dirk away, hands behind his back, and his shouting was muffled. Dave shifted to see who his brother had been yelling at, and then his heart turned to brick and dropped straight into his stomach.

A huge man wearing an expensive, tailored suit, with big, perfectly combed hair and scars on his face, sneering with a smirking smile across the room at Dave. But even the sight of the Makara patriarch had nothing on the suddenly sick, retching, rotting feeling Dave got in his gut when he saw the woman he was standing with. Tall. Dark skin, like her daughter, but something in those unnaturally dark blue eyes that her daughter didn't have; a life-long indulgence in greed and lust and vanity. A long coat, too fine for someone like her, no smile on her lips but a look of triumph plastered across her face nonetheless.

"What is she doing here?" he demanded, looking around him, then back at her. "What the fuck is this?"

"Miz Serket has a many ties to this particular office," answered the Megido woman, through her teeth.

"You mean because of all the times she's gotten outta trouble with a bribe? You're kidding, right? You're fucking kidding?"

He looked back, and the two of them were gone.

"Do you know what she did to him?" he demanded, staring intently at the older woman. "Do you have any idea-"

"Dave, I'm going to ask you to sit here for a while until we get things sorted out with your brother."

"So done. So fucking done with all of you bitches."

"Please watch your language."

Dave opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again and sat there, stewing. For a long time nothing happened, and then Latula stepped into the room, looking weary.

"Sorry," she said. "We'll be done in a minute, I swear. He just. You know. He saw her."

"Did he hurt anyone?"

"No. Although I'll probably give Marquise a call, you know, just in case."

"Just get him out of there."

"Couple more minutes."

A couple more minutes turned into about an hour, and then Latula came out again, holding on to Dirk's arm.

"Come on," she said, her face pale and silently angry. "Time to go."

She held on to both of the boys as she led them out of the station, and kept her head down but didn't let go of them until they were almost-

Dirk let out a little gasping breath and tore his arm out of her grip.

"Hey!" he shouted, across the street. He stepped off the curb, dodging cars, jogging his way to the sidewalk on the other side.

"Oh, God," muttered Latula, still clinging to Dave, but she didn't protest when Dave pulled her after Dirk, across the street.

"Hey," called Dirk again, a dangerous growl in his voice. "Makara."

The man turned around, grinned, pointed teeth and all.

"Strider," he purred, his voice like crushed glass. "What a miraculous coincidence. Why were you at the-"

Dirk wrenched his fist back and threw it at the man's face, but he caught Dirk's hand, holding it tightly, grinning. He clucked his tongue.

"How very impolite," he murmured. "Be kinder, Strider. They're all watching you."

Dave reached out to take hold of his brother. "Dirk-"

Dirk pulled out of his grip. "Your boys," he whispered, leaning his face in close to the other man's. "You think this is all I got? I know your boys, Makara, and you go ahead do whatever you want to me, because it'll be so fuckin' worth it."

Rage glinted in the other man's eyes, and then a woman slid out of the car that was parked just a few feet in front of them, into which the man had been about to enter.

The woman smiled at Dirk, then swept her long hair back.

"Good day, Mister Strider," she breathed.

He watched her silently. The blood had drained from his face.

"Marquise," called Latula, stepping up to stand beside Dirk defensively. "Where are your girls? I'm sure Vriska would like to see Terezi."

"I left them at home. Just visiting for the weekend. I heard there was some kind of new scandal in town, so I had to visit."

"Just leave, then. Just leave him alone."

"I haven't done anything to him."

"C'mon, Dirk," muttered Dave, tugging at his brother. "Let's just go home."

Dirk ignored them. "Don't push me."

"Well, now," said Marquise, smiling her wide blue eyes at Dirk. "Doesn't that sound familiar."

"There are easier ways to kill yourself, Mindy, than makin' me do it for you."

"So sweet. I assure you, that isn't what I'm after."

"I'll find you."

"Those sorts of threats aren't quite the kind of thing you want to be saying right now, are they? No. Go home, Dirk."

"I ain't done with you."

"I'm done with you. Goodbye, Dirk."

She got into the car, the man on the other side. "No," called Dirk, and as the door closed he lunged for it, pounding on the window. "No!" he shouted. "You listen to me, you bug-eyed bitch! You got nothin'! You hear me! You got _nothin_' of me, you _stupid_ piece of _no-good_-"

The car revved, and then they were gone.

Dirk was left standing there, watching the car blend in with the rush-hour Houston traffic, shaking with pulsing fury.

"I'm trying, like, you know. Not to be alone with him. He's been so messed up ever since he saw her."

"I-I-I w-would be t-too."

"I know. So, like, Latula's been around a lot, and he's been talking to Roxy and Rose a lot but they can't babysit him all the time. You know. That's my job." A pause. "So if you want to come over-"

"C-c-can't. Got a m-meeting."

"For what? PETA?"

"P-P-PETA is a b-bad organiza-sh-tion. I don't su-support it."

"I know you don't. I'm just fuckin' with you. But seriously, come home with me."

"I really cuh-can't. St-students w-with Disabil-lities Union."

"I thought you weren't going to that anymore."

Tavros shrugged.

"You know the only reason Gamzee's so obsessed with you is because you make it so easy."

"This h-has nothing to d-d-do with Guh-Gamzee."

"You're kidding, right? His brother's fucking scouting you, dumbass."

"K-Kurloz isn't like his G-"

"Because what he did to that Meulin girl was a total accident."

"Don't j-judge."

Dave let out a frustrated sigh. "At least tell me Aradia's still going to those meetings.

"N-no."

"Why do you _even_-"

"You d- don't get it."

"No, I don't. Will you just come home with me, please."

"S-s-sorry Dave. Maybe l-later."

Dave didn't say anything for a long moment, then shook his head. "Whatever," he said. "But tomorrow. Okay?"

"Yeah. T-tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Buh-bye, Dave."

"See you."

Tavros wheeled himself away, heading back into the school. Dave hung around for a moment, reluctant to go home.

Dirk lost his job last week because he couldn't get out of bed. Latula had almost taken him to the hospital again, but he'd refused to leave, and he'd refused the coffee Dave made for him, and he'd been quiet and pale and hadn't eaten anything in a few days, and Dave had to go home and check that he was still breathing and make sure he was okay and try to gently nudge him into going back to the gym and begging for his job back.

So Dave didn't want to go back to the apartment. He didn't want to have to look at his pathetic mess of a brother and he didn't want to have to be the responsible one. He was so fucking over that.

He considered taking a computer in the library and trying to talk to John, but John would still be in school for another hour or so. Fucking time difference.

Slowly, Dave began to head back home. Not much of a home, really. An apartment in the middle of the city, a couple little rooms filled with junk and nothing. He was so sick of everything. He didn't want to go home, he didn't want to be at home, he didn't want to see his brother, he didn't even want to _look at _him.

He cut down across the street near his building and headed instead towards the park, the empty lot with the bleachers and a basketball court with broken hoops. There was nobody there, and he took a seat on the bleachers listlessly, glancing around the park. Empty.

His phone rang, buzzing in his pocket.

He pulled it out, looked at it for a second. _UNKNOWN NUMBER_. He answered.

"Yeah?"

Nothing. Breathing, it sounded like.

"Hello? Somebody there?"

Louder breathing. Something like – a low, quiet laugh, maybe?

"Fuckin' weirdo mouthbreather. You're not scary, you're just a total dickwee-"

"Motherfucker's pretty today, Dave."

A chill shot down Dave's spine. He glanced around the park surreptitiously. No one. "Fucking Gamzee," he hissed. "I will fucking tear you apart, you hear me-"

"Look around again. Let a brother see your pretty face."

Dave tore the phone away from his ear and hung up immediately. His hands were shaking. He sat there for a long time, unable to decide between staying there in the open and walking back home and maybe running into Gamzee, wherever the fuck the creepy motherfucker was.

It took him a few minutes to decide that if he didn't leave now he'd be stuck right there until it got dark and that was the last thing he needed. So he hopped off the bleachers nonchalantly and, keeping his head down and shoulders hunched, headed out of the park. He got out, past the chain-link fence, closing the gate behind him and putting the lever back in place to keep it closed. He stayed on the sidewalks, walking with measured step, forcing his face to stay calm.

He'd made it half a block when suddenly, out of nowhere, behind him, long fingers on his waist and a mouth at his ear whispering, "_Honk_."

He almost screamed, flinching away from the touch and wrenching himself away, his heart pounding through his chest, adrenaline shooting into his brain – he couldn't even hear Gamzee laughing as his legs began pumping of their own accord, frantically getting him back to his building, up the fourteen flights of stairs three at a time, and then he swore under his breath, his trembling hands unable to the key into the lock and then he swore louder and dropped his keys and knelt down to pick them up-

The door opened. Dave looked up. His brother stood there, pale and thin and staring down at him with hollow eyes.

"Hi," said Dave breathlessly, standing up, panting slightly, his legs still unsteady. "Hi. Sorry. I couldn't. I couldn't get the door open."

Dirk didn't say anything. He left the door, went into the kitchen. Dave locked the door behind him and dropped his backpack, then followed his brother. Dirk was making himself a cup of coffee. Dave thought of the bottle of pills hidden in his room, and hungrily watched his brother put the mug to his lips.

"Are you feeling better?" asked Dave, taking a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water from the tap. Dirk shrugged. "Have you talked to Roxy?"

"She's busy."

"With?"

"College visits with Rose."

"Jane? Or Jake?"

"Don't feel like it."

"You haven't talked to either of them in, like, forever."

"I didn't feel like it, Dave."

Dave said nothing. He took a sip of his water. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice quieter but earnest.

Dirk didn't say anything, but he shook his head.

"Can I do something?"

"Just stay outta trouble."

"I'm not in any trouble."

"You look pretty bad."

"What?"  
"You get into another fight?"

"No."

"You look like you booked it home from school."

"So – maybe I was worried for you."

Dirk finally met Dave's gaze with an expression that warranted no explanation. "Just be careful."

"I'm bein' careful. I wouldn't have to be so careful if you could just, fuckin', like, get a grip for two minutes."

Dirk didn't reply.

"I mean, Jesus. Don't go talkin' to me about this shit when you can't even function. Just, don't even talk to me like that, period. You've made it pretty damn clear that I'm the adult here so treat me with some respect, okay."

Dirk didn't even look at him.

"You know what, I'm really damn sick of you sitting there and doing _nothing_. It's total bullshit. What the fuck _happened _to you, man. You used to be so great, what the fuck _happened_."

Nothing.

"Whatever. Go back to bed."

"Dave."

"Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me, just. Back off. Jesus."

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened. I'm fine. Don't touch me."

"Are you hurt?"

"No. Fucking. No."

Dave took a shuddering breath, calming himself. The shaking stopped. Dirk still stood there, watching him with those intelligent, inquisitive eyes.

"Whatever," said Dave, shaking his head, running his hand through his hair. "Gamzee just. Just freaked me out. I'm fine. He didn't touch me."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. He didn't touch me."

"He follow you home?"

"No. God. I don't know. I gotta. Whatever."

There was silence. Dirk said lowly, "I ain't gonna put up with this."

"They don't care."

"They're terrorizing you. We ain't even safe in our home."

"Don't. Don't even start talking like that. You get all that conspiracy shit and you get paranoid and angry and I am not going to fuckin' deal with that right now."

"Nobody else is gonna do anything. I should."

"Not everything is your responsibility, dumbass."

"You are."

"Don't touch me. _Don't touch me_."

The revulsion – the _terror_ – in Dave's voice made Dirk hesitate, retract his hand from his brother's arm. "Dave…"

"Goddammit," said Dave, and he shook his head, hoping the shades hid the wetness in his eyes. "God _damn_ it."

There was a long silence.

Dave wiped his eyes beneath his glasses and then, frustration plain and uninhibited in his voice, he asked, "Are we just not gonna talk about this? We just pretending it didn't happen?"

Dirk watched him wearily. "What?"

"They totally _fucking_ know. About. Last year."

"What about last year?"

"Last year, fuck. With the. You were yelling at me. Right after Mindy left."

"She didn't fuckin' leave. She ran. I could kill her. I almost did."

"Don't. You don't want to talk about this. Fine. I get it. I don't either. But how can. I mean." Dave let out a groaning sigh, turning away from his brother, putting his glass in the sink. "You never even asked me if I told them."

Dirk didn't move.

"What if I did? What if I just told them and that's why they're still on our ass? What if they're gonna take me away from you exactly because I don't wanna put up with your bullshit anymore?"

"Dave."

"I mean that. I don't. Sorry. Christ. Sorry. I don't fuckin' mean that."

"If you wanna go-"

"I don't wanna go. You don't want me to go either, you're just saying that because you'd rather have any other end to this conversation than-"

"We _did_ talk about this, it was a mistake, it was my fault, I said that, it's over."

"You cried outside my room. I've never even…"

"What?"

"I didn't tell them."

"I know."

"I never even told John."

"I know."

"I know it was a, just, a total mistake, okay. I know that. It just got outta control, it just happened. It's not. It's not a big fucking deal, I get that, okay. They just. They asked me about it, they fucking said the neighbors – I can't _deal_ with that. I don't know how to deal with that. I don't know what to do and I don't fucking know why you haven't asked me about it. This whole fucking time everybody's been talking sex and nothing but it but you don't even – what, did you expect me to _forget_ about it?"

"I'm _sorry_, Dave. I'm sorry. What the fuck do you _want_ me to say."

"I don't know! I don't fucking know, okay, I just, it's like, man, I still – you're still my brother, okay? We're still the same as ever, right? So why do we just not ever mention it ever? It didn't _change_ anything."

"I fucking _lost it_, that's why. That's why we don't talk about this shit. I was crazy. I lost it. You know what you should'a done, you should'a called Latula and made her take me to the hospital again because I fuckin' _needed_ it that time."

"Don't blame me."

"I'm not. I'm just sayin'. I was sick. Okay? I was sick then. I'm better now."

"You're not. You can't even get outta bed."

"Look. Look, I got on some meds after that. I was doing just. Fucking. Fine. I don't know why this happened now but I was doing so good and now-"

"What?" asked Dave, blinking at his brother. "You're on medication?"

Dirk looked at him, licked his lips slightly, then nodded.

"How long now?"

"Eight months, maybe."

Dave's eyes flickered to the coffee mug, and guilt settled in his stomach. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to know."

"Why didn't you tell _anyone?_"

"I ain't giving nobody a reason to look down on me no more," he said firmly. "It's my fuckin' business. Not theirs."

Dave said nothing for a long moment. Then he asked, "Are they gonna drop the case?"

"Did you ever say…"

"No."

"Then yeah. Latula says they have to. Should be done."

Dave looked around the little kitchen. "Okay," he said. "Okay. I'm gonna go to my room."

"Dave."

"Please can we be done."

"That's what I meant."

Dave paused, glanced back at his brother. Dirk wouldn't look at him. "What?"

"When I said you could talk to me about this shit."

"When did you-"

"I didn't say _this_. But, you know. When I asked you if you were fuckin' around. That's what I meant."

"I knew it. You couldn't say it. I saw your face, you couldn't say it out loud."

"I know. You're smarter than me, okay. You're smarter and better than me."

"I'm not-"

"Yeah, you are. At your age I'd ditched already. I'd given up because I thought I was so good that I couldn't take it anymore. You're smarter than that."

"What does that-"

"Because you can own up to things, you stupid asshole. You don't have all this fucking baggage that I've somehow fuckin' acquired. And here I am, totally fucking that up for you. I'm sorry. I don't mean to do that, I just fuck up everything I touch."

"Don't get sorry for yourself."

"I'm not. It's just true. You know why I left home? You know why I left Roxy? Why Jake left me? Do y'know why all that shit went down with Mindy? Wasn't fuckin' her. Was all me. Was all my shit and her gettin' sick of it."

"I'm sick of your shit, and I would never do what she did."

"Which is why I get to blame her but not you. I can't help this. I break things. It just happens to me. Always."

"Go to bed if you're gonna cry. I ain't gonna listen to this shit."

"You should'a fuckin' told them what I did to you."

Dave wasn't looking at his brother. The door to his room was so close, just a few strides away. He didn't move. "It's not as bad as you want to think it is."

"I couldn't even look you in the eye. For months."

"I was the one pushing you around."

"I'm sorry."

"So you fucking _groped _me. Get the _fuck_ over it, okay? _Please_. Jesus."

Silence. Dirk said nothing.

"I'm just. I'm over this, okay. I'm so over you doing this, and you feeling sorry for yourself, and me try'na act like Dad for _you_. I'm not gonna do that."

"You shouldn't have to."

"I just want this to be over."

"It is. It was just a big show, it's done now. I promise."

"Your promise don't mean jack shit, Dirk."

"Dave. Dave. Don't – _Dave_."

He was gone, closing his door behind him, leaning against it, his breath condensing in his mouth, making it difficult to inhale. He heard nothing for a moment, then a quiet sigh and the sounds of his brother moving around slightly, then Dirk's door opening and closing.

For a long time, he didn't move. He was shaking again, unable to even remotely hold himself together. He was just like Dirk sometimes. He was just like his brother, with the depression and the anger and the, the fucking wandering eyes, and the grabby hands, and he stood there, his back straight about the door and he went through what they did, moment by moment, telling himself that it was just an argument that got out of control one time and by the time he was done all he was left with was a hollowness in his chest and a distracting hardness in his lap.

_Ring. Ring. Click_.

"Dave?"

"I'm out. I'm so fucking out."

"What?"

"I'm done. I'm so out. Can't even. John. There's something."

"What? Are you okay?"

"There's something I gotta talk to you about."

"Yeah?"

"I…"

_Click_.

EB: dave!

EB: dave!

EB: dave!

EB: DAVE!

EB: DAVE I'M NOT GOING TO STOP BUGGING YOU UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME

EB: DAVE

EB: PLEASE COME BACK

EB: PLEASE COME BACK

It was mid-afternoon on a Saturday when Dave got home, and he went right into the kitchen, where his brother sat, nursing a bowl of soggy cereal, and laid two piece of paper on the table.

Dirk glanced up at him, then looked at the papers, reaching out to take them. "What's this?"

"Plane tickets," said Dave bluntly.

Concern shadowed Dirk's face. "What? Why? How'd you get these?"

"John bought them for me."

"You're gonna visit John? Were you gonna ask me, or-"

"You're coming too."

Dirk looked up at him. "What?" he asked. "Why? I mean. No, I don't need to, if you're gonna go, then go. For Christmas, right?"

"No. You're coming."

"That's okay. I'll stay."

"I already talked to everyone. John has an extra room. We'll stay in there."

"I don't need to-"

"Rose and her mom are coming a week after us. Jade and Jake will be there sometime around then."

"_What?_"

"You're gonna see all of them."

"When the fuck did you plan this?"

"Past couple weeks. Been talking to John a lot."

"And you didn't _once_ think to _ask _me first?"

"I was going," said Dave, meeting his brother's gaze, "no matter what you said."

A silence. Then Dirk said lowly, "I need to stay here. We still got too many people on our back, we can't just up and leave."

"I already talked to Latula about that. It's fine. It's Christmas fucking vacation, for Christ's sake. She said it would be good for us to get out of here for a while anyway."

"Looks like we're running."

"You're paranoid. We're going."

"I _just_ got a job offer, Dave."

"Dirk," said Dave, watching his brother intensely, "I've _never_ seen him."

Dirk blinked, but didn't say anything.

"I've never touched him," continued Dave. "And now right here, _right _here, _this_," he took the papers from Dirk, held them up, "this is my chance. I'm going, and you're coming."

"This is your thing. I don't need to be-"

"Be serious. Yes, you do."

A longer silence. Dirk said, "Okay."

Dave's eyes changed beneath his shades. Opened, brightened, shone, red tinted through black.

Dirk stood up and put his bowl in the sink. "Where'd you even print that out?"

"Library."

"How long you been planning this?"

"Three weeks, maybe."

"You talked to everybody?"

"Yeah."

"Why was I the last fuckin' person to find out?"

Dave took the papers, folded them delicately, and answered, "So you couldn't say no."

He disappeared to his room and Dirk stood there, alone.

TT: Hey

TT: Jake?


	4. ACT TWO ACT ONE

Dirk had been in an airplane three times before: once to Roxy's house, once back down to Texas, and then again back to Houston after their parents died. Dave had never been in an airplane. It made him kind of sick and nervous at first – not as nervous as getting through security, though, his teeth were on edge during that whole process, one eye watching Dirk the whole time, silently willing him not to fuck up. He didn't. Things went fine, and Dirk didn't even cause any trouble at all or even really complain. He was mostly just quiet until they got to their gate, when sat down on those black-and-metal seats and took out his phone and called Latula one last time. Dave left to get a soda and some candy for the plane and by the time he got back, Dirk had a little grin on his face, that shine in his eye that he only ever got with Roxy. Rose. No, Roxy.

"Yo, Dave," he said, nodding at the phone at his ear, "wanna talk to Rose?"

Yeah. Rose, then.

"Sure." He took the phone. "Hey babe."

"Hey, you."

"What are you up to?"

"I'm so glad you decided to come. I was just with Kanaya, we were talking about going back. But I just want you to know. I'm so glad you're going to be there."

"Yeah, no, yeah. Me too. Thanks for helping out, you know, with the tickets."

"Thank my mother for that. You know her, always needing to get in on altruistic actions in order to feed her giant superiority complex. Plus I think she enjoyed talking to John's dad for a few hours."

"Oh yeah?"

"Wanton mistress of the night."

"Right."

"She simply can't resist a good responsible man."

"Oh, yeah, I got that same problem."

Rose chuckled. "Are you excited?"

"I don't know. Kinda. Yeah."

"Kind of?"

"Worried. A little bit."

"Of course. This is your first flight, isn't it? Perfectly natural, millions of people across the globe suffer from aviopho-"

"Not about that. I mean, yeah, I guess. Airplanes never go down anywhere boring like between Texas and Washington, we're good. Jade might have a problem, you know, whole Pacific Ocean thing."

"So what is the problem? Are you nervous about meeting John?"

"I've met John already, Rose. I mean not in person but. Basically."

"It's different. Isn't it?"

"I dunno."

"What do you think he's like?"

"Uh, I think he's short, Asian, fuckin' criminally adorable and a total dweeb."

"I mean in person."

"I seen him a whole bunch'a times, Rose-"

"You _know_ what I mean. What it's like to be close to him. What he feels like. What he smells like."

"Aw, no. Have you been thinkin' unholy thoughts about my sexy dumbass?"

She laughed again. "Only when he's with you. I've taken to writing massively homoerotic fanfiction of the two of you."

"Are we wizards?"

"I – and what, pray tell, does that have to do with anything?"

"We're fuckin' wizards, aren't we."

"Incredibly horny wizards, it appears."

"I'm not surprised."

"Give me back to your brother. I was just reading one aloud to him."

"You know it's creepy that a thirty-year-old drop-out is like your best friend."

"I think he would get along really well with my friends here. I'm attracted to a particular archetype."

"Total losers?"

"People who stimulate my mind."

"Was that an innuendo because I honestly couldn't tell."

"It was not."

"So my bro stimulates your mind and me and John wizard-fucking stimulate your-"

She giggled. "Okay, Dave. Give me back to Dirk."

"Alright. I'll see you soon."

"Yes."

"John and me both."

"Counting down the minutes."

"Thank you. Again."

"Don't worry about it, darling. Anything for young love."

Dave didn't reply to this; the knot tied tightly around his insides loosened a little, and he handed the phone back to his brother, who resumed talking to Rose enthusiastically.

When they boarded, Dave sat by a window. He sat in the hot, sweaty plane, staring out the tiny little porthole onto the tarmac, watching other giant machines leap into the sky. His heart seemed to slow as he watched huge wheels fling a hunk of metal down a runway and then it lifted off, leaving the ground, blown by some invisible wind.

"This is a Boeing 737-800," murmured Dirk, looking past Dave, out the window. "Wingspan hunnerd'n twelve feet. We're gonna be cruisin' at Mach point-seven-eight-five."

"I don't know how fast that is."

"Five hundred'n twenty miles per hour. Somewhere around thirty-five thousand feet. Burns five gallons'a fuel per hour per seat."

"How much is that total?"

Dirk paused for a second, and Dave glanced at him, saw that glassy look in his eye. "Should be 'bout eight hundred fifty. Way better than the MD-80."

"How much does it weigh?"

"Max takeoff is somethin' like hunnerd'n seventy thousand, or something. Not sure."

"How do you know all this shit?"

Dirk shrugged. "You pick it up."

"Where. The _fuck_. Do you pick up stats on some random-ass airplane?"

"It's a pretty common-"

There was a little _ding_ and flight attendants appeared in the aisles, an instructional safety video turning on. Dirk quieted, watching the video intently. A few minutes later, the plane began to move, heading out onto the tarmac. The thing was giant and vibrating, humming and purring like some kind of wild animal beneath Dave's feet. "_Clear for take-off_." Dave thought they only said that in movies. The sounds started first, like something winding up, and then suddenly there was a great push forward, an acceleration, and Dave was sinking into his seat, his teeth grinding tightly together, gripping the armrest.

"You scared?" asked Dirk, quietly, but close enough to Dave's ear that he could hear him.

"No," said Dave, and he realized that his eyes were squeezed shut.

Dirk said something else and it was so loud that Dave couldn't quite hear right, but he thought he heard, underneath the whine of the plane preparing to take-off, "He loves you." A hand closed around Dave's, clutching the armrest between him and his brother.

Most of the rest of the flight was in relative silence, except for when Dirk pointed out how far they'd gone, estimating how much longer, how fast they must be going, how high they were. Once the crew started talking about preparing for descent, though, he shut up quick.

The landing was the worst part. A few physical drops of the stomach as they were descending, and then Dave had to close his eyes again in those last few seconds where they seemed to be hovering in air just above the ground, hanging in nothing, almost free-falling, and then a satisfying _thump_ and a spike of panic as it got loud again and he could _feel_ the brakes, and then it was done.

"_On behalf of the crew of United Airlines, we'd like to welcome you to Seattle, Washington. Local time is five twenty-two PM. Please stay buckled and in your seat until the captain has turned off the seatbelt sign._"

Dave pressed his hand to the window. It fogged up around his fingers, leaving a handprint of condensation there for just a moment when he took it away. It was evening, and not dark so much as gloomy. A little bit of rain wetting the buildings and pavement and trees and plants and neither Dave nor Dirk said even a word as everyone unbuckled and stood up and grabbed stuff from overhead bins and looked around impatiently, mutually frustrated with the inevitable sluggishness of debarkation.

They'd checked just one suitcase for the both of them, and Dirk waited at the carousel as Dave went into the bathroom, peed, then splashed some water on his face, peering into the mirror. He had some bad bags under his eyes. And those shades looked so fuckin' dorky. He missed John's shades. They fit better, they looked better, they felt better. These felt so unnatural, made him feel so much more like he was hiding something.

He ran a damp hand through his hair, then returned to where his brother was watching a bag coming towards them; Dirk heaved it off the carousel and then looked at Dave and asked, "Are you ready?"

Dave shrugged. No words. They followed the wave of people heading out, and Dave hung slightly behind Dirk until they reached the doors open to the terminal, and then Dave started leaning forward, passing his brother and, as they entered, his eyes turned to scan the crowd, searching for a familiar face. His lips were pressed in a thin line, his face pale, and then-

Dirk saw his brother stumble a little bit, although he didn't think anybody else did. But there was a tangible change in Dave and Dirk was following his gaze but didn't even see anyone until a boy broke away from the crowd and darted to Dave and, beaming madly, a grin so wide on his face it made him look like a little kid, he threw his arms around an unprepared Dave, who hesitated, then returned the embrace. There were a few murmurs of _aww_s from others waiting, but mostly, nobody took any notice of them except for Dirk, who stood there watching his brother melt, simply fucking _melt_, in this kid's arms.

And then they pulled apart and Dave let out a little awkward laugh and John's giggling was more sincere and he said, "Oh my God, _oh _my God, I can't believe you're here!"

"Yeah," sighed Dave, nodding, rubbing his head. "Me too."

"Oh my _God_, Dave, I just, oh my God."

A man, tall and slim like his son, waited behind John. He reached out his hand to Dirk. "Hello there," he said. "Welcome to Washington, son."

"Thank you," said Dirk, shaking the man's hand. "Really, thank you, for all of this. It's, a. It's good to finally meet you, Mister Egbert."

"It sure is. How was your flight?"

John was holding Dave's hand, something he was completely unused to and it made him a little self-conscious and he kept glancing down to where John's fingers were intertwined with his own, hardly listening as John spoke. "I was worried that maybe you'd be a little late because they said it's gonna start raining pretty bad soon and so sometimes they delay flights or stuff because of that. But you're here! Oh my gosh, I can't believe it. Is this real life? How are you? Do you feel okay? Was the flight bad?"  
"Uh – no, nah, it was pretty good. My brother had this, like, running commentary the whole time, so."

"My dad does that too! On like road trips and stuff he just won't shut _up_ about some things, ha ha. Totally."

Dave nodded, feeling slightly out of it, unable to focus clearly on John before him.

The other boy leaned in and, softly, kissed him at the corner of his lips. Dave blinked and looked at him; John grinned conspiratorially.

John's dad clapped Dave on the back (but gently enough that Dave didn't start at the unexpected touch), and said, "Well, Dave! How are you?"

"Uh, good, thanks, Mister Egbert. Really, just, thanks for – really good to be here."

"We're happy to have you here," said the man. "So, boys! Ready to go?"

The Egberts took the Striders out to their car, John chattering excitedly to Dave the whole time, and John's dad making easy conversation with Dirk, who was behaving himself pretty well. Dave was still watching him, just in case, but he was also extra aware of the places where John kept touching him – his hands, and his arms sometimes, reaching out to touch him gently when he got too excited, or something. Dave still couldn't even quite concentrate on what John was saying, even as they got into the car. Washington seemed drizzly and rainy and a far cry from the moist heat of Houston. But John looked the same as he ever did on camera, except maybe a little brighter, a tiny bit more vibrant.

Mr. Egbert insisted on carrying their suitcase in from the car, showing them to the room they'd be staying in. Their house was in a typical suburban neighborhood, and they had three bathrooms and four bedrooms, one of which had been converted into an office for John's dad. Dave didn't say anything, but he was pretty sure everything was showing on his face.

And then there was that awkward pause when they were finally all together, and so John asked Dave if he needed to take a nap or something and Dave said thanks but no, he was okay, and so John proposed they go on a walk.

Dave glanced outside dubiously and John said quickly, "Don't worry, you can wear one of my sweaters if you don't have any. Here, I'll get you one."

He took hold of Dave and led him down the hall, to his own room. He closed the door behind him. Then he let go of Dave and went to his dresser, kneeling to reach a bottom drawer. Dave stood there, blinking. "Here," said John, "I got this for you."

John turned around and straightened up, holding something covered in a shirt in his hands. He grinned at Dave almost mischievously, and suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, Dave found himself a little bit indecently aroused. John reached out and touched Dave's face and then leaned in for a kiss, a _real_ kiss, Jesus Christ, lips and tongue and everything. For a second Dave didn't even know what to do with his mouth, and he let John take control and damn, where had John ever learned this from because Dave was _pretty sure_ they'd talked about this and John had never got _anywhere_ near as sexy as he got with Dave with anyone else and before he could do anything else John was pulling away and Dave realized that he wasted their first kiss worrying about who the fuck taught John how to tongue like that, or nibble on his lip that little bit as he was pulling away. _Fuck_.

John took Dave's hands into his own and placed the thing wrapped in a shirt into his palm, then held his arms eagerly. "Open it," he said.

"Yo, we got a week or so left until Christmas, babe," said Dave, over the sound of his heart pounding. "Plus I think your dad's like right outside, if this is a sexy thing-"

"Just open it," insisted John.

Dave looked at him in the eye, the dark, weirdly blue eye (John's mom must've been white or something, because there's no way he got those blue eyes from his dad's side, right?), and then looked down at the package in his hands, and pulled away the shirt, revealing a perfect new pair of sunglasses, dark and shining and square, unlike Dirk's dumbass shades. Dave let out a little breath like a sigh or a groan, and then said, "Thanks, man. Thank you."

"Here," said John, and he reached up and took off Dave's glasses; Dave flinched away from that, his eyelids fluttering down, his eyes on the ground, unwilling to meet John's naked eye. John opened the new shades and held them out and Dave took them, began to raise them to his eyes, and then John tugged on his arm slightly. "Why do you even wear those things?" he whispered. "I mean, I know that you don't like people seeing your eyes and stuff but I don't know why. I think your eyes are really pretty."

"Rose's eyes are _pretty_, mine-"

"Are super-duper totally manly, right," said John, almost rolling his eyes. "Whatever, they're cool and badass. You could totally like freak people out by like staring at them creepily."

"I don't wanna freak anybody out."

"Well maybe if you _did_, people would stop breaking your glasses."

Dave glared at John, then put the shades on his face. "I don't think I'd be able to scare off a Makara just because I have freaky albino eyes."

"Maybe-"

"These guys are fucking psycho, man. They're like, they got these huge flippin' scars on their face, like some kind of gang thing. Pointy teeth. They're fuckin' animals."

John couldn't hold back the concern in his eyes. "Why do they want you so bad?"

Dave shrugged, shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "Guess I make myself an easy target."

"How?"

"I don't know. Look, John. Can we just do that walk or something?"  
"Yeah," said John, nodding, still watching Dave. "Okay. Let's go. Here." He took a sweatshirt out of one of his drawers and Dave pulled it over his head. It was a little bit small, but the name of John's high school was printed on the front and it even _smelled_ like John and so Dave lost himself a little in that again. They headed outside, passing Dirk and Dave's room, in which they could hear Dirk on the phone with someone (Dave felt an unreasonable surge of distaste; his brother was so _fucking _dependent), and also John's dad in the kitchen, flipping through cookbooks, who asked them what they wanted for dinner. John answered when Dave couldn't, because Dave was used to cereal and KFC and pizza and didn't really know what to say he wanted. He was still somewhere around culture shock, unable to really take it in. Even as they went outside, into the gray, cold, drizzly day, everything felt so unreal. Dave didn't belong here, this wasn't the place he was born and bred for. Everything felt just a _little_ bit off, just enough to make him start doubting himself. He kind of started to understand why Dirk could never _really_ explain why he'd left New York when he was a kid.

John had an umbrella, which he opened over them. "Sorry about the rain," he said. "It's always raining here. Welcome to the Pacific Northwest, ha ha, right? No but it's beautiful. I love it here. I couldn't ever even imagine going to live where you are. Too hot!"

"The heat's not so bad," said Dave fairly, peering out at the identical, suburban houses. "Once you get used to it, I mean. It's nice, like you're always warm and sticky, like you been fucking or something."

John laughed. "What?"

"You know, like you been with somebody. The same kind of hot when you got two bodies pressing together, that's Texan heat."

John looked at him carefully, then said, "That doesn't seem too bad."

"Yeah."

"So maybe in a way I guess you brought your badass rough-and-ready Texan heat here, right?"

"Yeah?"

John shrugged, a shy smile on his face. "You know. Bodies and like, pressing together. And stuff."

Dave looked at him, then out at where they were heading. A park. John took him to a bunch of covered picnic tables and they sat down, listening to the rain gently pad on the roof. There was a silence. Dave sat on the table and John sat on the seat, holding Dave's hands still. Dave still hadn't decided how much he liked that.

"John," said Dave.

"Yes?" replied John.

There was a little quiet. And then Dave said, "Thanks. This is really too much, you know, just too nice a'ya. You shouldn't have."

John shrugged. "It's for me too. I wanted you here. So kind of selfish, actually!"

"No, I mean, like. You shouldn't have done this. Me and my brother, here, where you live."

John turned around to look at him, confusion rising in his eyes. "What are you talking about? I want you here."

"We're gonna fuck it up," sighed Dave, shaking his head. "We always fucking do, Jesus. Dirk can't go ten minutes without saying somethin' nobody should say. He thinks too hard about this shit and he ruins it. He ruins everything."

"I think your brother seems like a really nice guy, Dave. He really, really loves you."

"I know that."

"You guys get mad at each other a lot because you're just like each other, you know? You're both really smart."

"I'm not smart."

"Yes, you are."

"You guys are smart. You and Rose and Jade. The girls especially, like, damn. But I'm just some stupid kid from Texas, you know, I'm not fucking anything."

"Dave."

"No, right, I know you don't like it when I get all self-depreciative. It's just like, I mean, I don't know, that's kind of a core aspect of my personality? Fucking hating myself. Hating him."

"Okay, well. You have to admit, he makes a pretty good dad, right? He looks after you pretty well."

"No. I don't know."

"He cares about you a lot. That's the only reason he keeps nagging you to go to college, you know, because he wants the best for you."

"I'm not going to college."

"Why not? We could go to college together."

"I don't want to."  
"Why _not_, Dave?"

"Because I don't _want _to!"

John looked at him, eyes suddenly wide. Dave realized he'd shouted, and whipped his hands away from John. He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know," he said lowly. "I just don't want to be _his_."

"What do you mean?" asked John, puzzled.

"I don't," Dave shook his head, covering his eyes underneath his shades. "I don't want him to have any of me."

"I don't get it."

"I don't fucking know, John. It just _kills_ me. It kills me to be with him."

"Why? I think he seems pretty nice."

"He's a great guy," said Dave, and he pushed himself off of the table, began pacing back and forth in front of John. "He's the greatest. Like when I was a kid, you know, because like – I was in, like, fucking second grade when our parents died. I don't remember them. I can't even remember their fucking faces, and Dirk doesn't keep any pictures around because they, I don't know, they fucking trigger him or something. I just had _him_, okay, and when you're like in third grade it doesn't fucking matter _who _it is, you know, your dad's your hero. Your fucking _hero_. I loved him so fucking much. And then I got older and you know, I started to figure out, this kid doesn't even fucking have himself together. He was like hardly a year older than I am right now when our mom and dad died. He didn't know. But I thought he did and so, you know, you know what you do, when you're a kid especially, you set up your whole life around this one thing and everything else just rotates around it and he's your fucking _rock_, you know?"

Dave stopped, shaking his head.

"He doesn't know what he's doing," sighed Dave, looking up at the rainy sky. "And, I don't know. He's my brother, you're right. We got this, I don't know, this weird sort of vague, unspoken semblance of a kinship, you know, but we're not like…" Dave put his hands to his head. "I don't fucking know. He needs to get his shit together and be a _dad_, you know, or he needs to just get the fuck out of here because I don't want him anymore, okay. I don't know. Maybe seeing Roxy will fix him, or something. Maybe he and Roxy'll get married and he'll be okay. I'd be okay with that. Fuck. There's something so fucking wrong with me, John."

"What are you talking about?" asked John, still confused. "Nothing's wrong with you. It's okay. What are you saying?"

Dave just shook his head.

John stood up and went to him, put his arms around him. "I know it's hard," he said quietly. "I'm sorry. Wish I could make it really nice and easy for you and your brother all the time. But he _is_ your brother. And at the end of the day, he loves you, and you love him, right?"

Dave didn't say anything for a moment.

Then he said, "No."

John pulled away slightly. "What?"

Dave said, "I don't love him. It's just sad. I just feel bad for him. His stupid fucking puppets. They aren't fucking cool, neither are his stupid fucking robots. All just stupid shit that haunts your dreams especially about – especially when-"

Dave let out a shuddering breath. John held him again. "What's going on?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

"I am a fucking bucket full of a total angst shitfest today, I am so fucking sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. It's okay."  
"It's so fucking good to see you, John."

"I know. I'm glad you're here."

"I love you. I love _you_, not him. I promise."

"You don't have to promise anything, Dave. This isn't a contest. He's your brother."

"I don't love him," repeated Dave, shaking his head. "I don't love him."

John said, "I love you, too, Dave," then held him silently.

They had spaghetti that night, and Dave was still keeping one eye on Dirk, watching him, making sure he didn't fuck things up, but he seemed pretty okay. He and John's dad got along really well, which was weird, and at one point Dave swore he saw his brother laugh. Like a real laugh, not those little snickers he sometimes got with Dave, or that permanent grin he got with Latula.

Rose was expected within the week, but for the next couple days John and Dave were by themselves. Which meant that they were mostly out of the house, because it was kind of hard to get frisky with John's dad and Dave's bro around all the time. It was a Wednesday when John took Dave to his high school, showing him around where he hung out and stuff. John brought up the idea of going to meet some of his friends, but Dave made little whining sounds and made it pretty clear that he wanted to be alone, at least until Rose or Jade got there. There was nothing like being alone with John. It was like, as easy as it was with Terezi or with Tavros, except minus everything he hated about them, and plus this constant need to be touching him always.

They hung out behind John's school and necked in the bleachers, like in a movie. John liked shitty movies and so got special delight out of this. They were out for a while. By the time they headed home, it was getting dark out. No doubt Mister Egbert was already preparing dinner.

When they got back to John's house, it was quiet except for the blissful humming of John's dad in the kitchen, an apron around his torso, chopping some onions.

"Hey there, kids," he said. "Have fun?"

"Yeah," said John. "I showed Dave school and down by Blockbuster's and everything."

"Ah, yes. Where all the thugs hang out."

John grinned. "They're just high school kids, Dad."

"Thugs, I tell ya, son. With their bandanas and their underwear showing above their pants."

John giggled and looked at Dave, who grinned and asked, "Uh, is my brother around?"

"Nope," said John's dad brightly. "He took off a couple hours ago."

Dave's heart seemed to pound once, too loudly, and then stop. "Took off?" he repeated delicately.

John, glancing between his father and Dave, quickly asked, "What do you mean, Dad? Did he go somewhere?"

"Yup," answered Mister Egbert. "He took the bus into Seattle. Said he wanted to do some sightseeing and stuff. I think he also said something about meeting someone out there."

"Seattle?" echoed Dave, his lips numb. "_My _brother?"

"He seemed pretty pleased about it. Said he might be back later."

"No," said Dave, too loudly. John and his father looked at him, and Dave looked at them and John caught the spike of unfamiliar fear in his eyes. "No, I'm sorry," he continued, his breath shaking a little. "No, he can't do that."

"Excuse me?" asked John's dad, glancing at John, then Dave.

"Nothing," replied Dave, shaking his head. "It's just, like, I don't know, Dirk shouldn't be alone. Okay. Give me a second."

He pulled his phone out and left the room, hitting the screen a little too hard, calling his brother. He put the phone to his ear. _Ring. Ring. Ring_.

"Dirk Strider's phone, leave a message."

Dave swore and hung up, then called again. Nothing. "Dammit," he whispered, under his breath. "God _dammit_, Dirk, you can't just. _Dammit_."

John appeared. "Dave?" he asked. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really," said Dave. "You know, like, you know I _brought_ him here so he wouldn't get into any trouble. I don't want him going into any city alone, you know, he could do _anything _and he would, believe me, he _so_ would."

John looked a little bewildered. "He's a grown-up," he said. "He can take care of himself, mostly. You're not responsible for him."

"Somebody's gotta be."

For a second, John didn't say anything. Then he said, "Okay, well, dinner's almost ready, so you can keep calling him and then we can wait up for him. Okay?"

"Can't we-"

"I don't think we could find him, Dave. It's a big city."

Dave nodded. "Yeah," he said. "I know that."

There was a silence. Dave said, "If he'd just waited until tomorrow."

"What?"

"Rose would be here."

"So what?"

"Her mom always knows what to do with him."

"You gotta stop worrying so much about him. I just said, he's a _grown-up_, he'll be fine."

"He doesn't know what to _do_, John. He doesn't know how to function, not with other people. He's just gonna get himself into a mess, like always. He hates everyone. That's where I get it from."

"Can we just have dinner? And then we'll watch a movie and wait for him and you can tell me how much you hate him then."

Dave looked at John, frustration hidden behind his shades.

"What?" asked John. "Do you not hate him now? Yeesh, Dave, I can't keep up with your vacillating emotions."

"Whatever. Yeah, whatever. Just. Just fuckin' dinner, or something."

Dave ate in silence, even as John and his dad engaged in enthusiastic conversation. He had his phone in his hand almost the whole time, waiting on a call. Nothing.

They waited up for hours, lying on the couch, watching TV. John's dad went to bed around eleven, explaining that he still had work in the morning and sternly noting that he trusted the boys to make good decisions and stay appropriate. John didn't even giggle at that, just solemnly promised that they would. Dave sat on one side of the couch, still holding his phone, his lips set into a thin line. John was lying down a little bit, his feet just barely in Dave's lap. They were silent. The TV played an old episode of _General Hospital_, which John was half paying attention to, half falling asleep to. Three quarters of the way in, his gentle snores became audible, and Dave looked at the TV, then at John, his head tucked in to the corner of the couch, and then, carefully, he lifted John's feet off of him and slipped out of the room.

The house was dead silent, so Dave went to the front door and left the house completely, quietly closing the door behind him. He took out his phone, listening to the pouring rain, and dialed his brother again.

"Dirk Strider's phone, leave a message."

_Beep_.

Dave suddenly found a lump in his throat then, and he couldn't say anything. And then he swallowed it and, lowly, he said, "Bro. Where are you. You can't just…you can just leave like that. Dirk. Please. Come back, holy shit, please come back. Be okay."

He hung up. Dave didn't move, standing there on the porch in the cold. He could barely see teen feet into John's yard through his shades. He took them off, blinking. The world looked so strange, four shades brighter than he was used to. He wanted to put his hands to his face, cover up his defect, his aberrance. He hated his eyes. He thought sometimes that it was the eyes, those stupid fucking eyes alone, that got him into this mess. Which didn't make sense, apparently, because for the first couple years though Dirk had to take every opportunity available to pull Dave aside and remind him, "_What happened to Mom and Dad isn't your fault_." Which isn't really something that occurs to a fucking seven-year-old immediately, not until it's been said over and fucking over again.

Dave remembers that time just before he turned thirteen when he saw a horror movie (_Saw_? Maybe one of the _Saws_, Dirk fuckin' loved those movies) where somebody spooned out somebody else's eye, just with one of those little grape peeler things, like _plop_ and then out. He saw that over and over again in his head, just a little _squish_ and then nobody has to look at your fucking eyes ever again, and one day when Dirk was in the bathroom (because this was back when Dirk got off work specifically in time to get home with Dave), Dave opened all the drawers to look for a grape peeler but only found one of those little spoons, and you know he probably would've gotten away with it if Dirk hadn't come out just in time to see Dave dash to his room, his twelve-year-old guilt written all over his twelve-year-old face. He'd been confused but not panicked until he opened Dave's door and saw his brother in front of a mirror, the little spoon up to his face. He'd lost his shit, Dave remembers it distinctly, Dirk had totally lost it, grabbed Dave, the spoon, threw him around a little bit – gently, you know, threw him on the bed, that is, while he stormed back to the kitchen and buried the spoon deeply in the trash. He'd gone back in, yelled at Dave more, asked him what the _fuck _he was doing and Dave hadn't started crying but after that he wore the shades around his brother too, and they didn't watch _Saw _anymore.

Dave stared out in the night. It was past midnight now. He was so empty. If Dirk didn't come back by dawn, he'd go back without him. Then that was it. Two parents dead and a third ditched. Dave wouldn't mind that so much. Maybe it'd be for the best.

A figure appeared in the rain. A thrill went through Dave's body, his heart pumping hard once, then slowing almost to a stop. He gripped his phone, pressing his back against the wall beside the door. Figure was tall and stooping slightly, and despite himself Dave felt a hand at his neck, fingers on his body, and that _motherfucking_ Makara laugh-

From the misty rain, a dark man with lighter hair materialized. Dave didn't let out a sigh of relief because he didn't even fucking know which was worse. "Dirk," he said, and then he realized he'd gasped it too quietly, and he called, "Bro," and stepped to the edge of the porch, but not beyond. His brother ambled up the driveway, then joined him on the porch.

"Hey, you," he said.

"What the _fuck_," hissed Dave, punching him on the shoulder. "What the _fuck_ was that, huh?"

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"I was waiting for _you_. How could you think goin' off into a city by yourself was a good idea? _Jesus_."

"I thought it'd be good to give you some space. What's the problem? Who died and made you mom?"

Dave slapped his brother, hard, across the face. Dirk looked dazed but not altogether surprised. "Fuck you," he said, under his breath. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You can't do shit like this."

"What, shit like _going outside_?"

"What the fuck were you even doing? God, bro, you can't handle yourself, okay? You're not capable of even remotely taking care of-"

"That's not your job."

"Well _somebody_ should be making sure you don't kill somebody, or yourself, because I sure don't-"

"That's _not_ your job."

"I just want this to be fucking _okay_, alright, and I can't even take a minute off because I have to be watching your ass every second of the-"

"Don't even talk to me, Dave. Don't fucking talk to me, okay, alright, whatever, you're mad and I'm the asshole, right."

"What did you do? Did you get into trouble?"

"No," said Dirk, shaking his head, anger beginning to pulse behind his eyes. "No, fuck no, I went into a city and I looked at shit I can't afford and ate some crappy food that I could and was away from _you_ for five seconds, Jesus H. fucking Christ."

"You can't-"

"Dave, I spent ten years being the fucking adult, okay? I know where you're comin' from because every time you come home late from school, I get that, okay? But you think you gotta keep an eye on me, it ain't fucking true. It just ain't true. I can handle myself."

Dave was silent for a second. Then he nodded and tucked his phone back into his pocket and headed to open the door, and then he stopped.

"Bro," he said.

"Yeah."

"Are you still taking that medicine?"

"I brought it. Yeah."

"I brought some too."

Dirk didn't say anything. "Who bought you-"

"It's not for me."

There was a silence. "What?" asked Dirk, slowly.

Dave rubbed his temples and confessed, "I've been drugging your coffee. Or whatever. Medicating it. I didn't know you were taking stuff too. I don't know, I'm sorry, I don't know, I think that's why you've been so crazy lately. You take yours and I sneak shit into your coffee and it messes you up. This shit is my fault, I'm sorry."

Neither of them said anything. Dave opened the door, hesitated, then went in, leaving the door open behind him. He went into where the TV was still on, turned it off, and leaned over the couch, nudged John, who started awake. "Dirk's back," he whispered. "You can go to bed."

"That's good," yawned John sleepily, nodding. "Goodnight."

He didn't move. Dave didn't glance around as he heard his brother enter the house and walk behind him, to their room, but after another moment, he said, "C'mon, John. Come on. Get up." And Dave took hold of him arm and tugged him to sitting upright, then standing, and John yawned again and reached out and put his arms around Dave.

He mumbled, "Is he okay?"

"He's fine," replied Dave, a gross, guilty feeling festering in his stomach. "It's way too late, though, I'mma take the piss outta him for that."

They headed towards John's room and then stopped and John took hold of him again and whispered, "Come in my bed."

Dave blinked. "What?"

"Sleep with me," he said, almost urgently. "Tonight. You're tired, so am I. It's perfect."

Dave didn't say anything immediately, then, cautiously: "I'm not really sure now is the best-"

"_No_," said John impatiently. "Not like _that_. Just s_leep_ with me. In my bed."

For a second, Dave didn't know what to say, and it felt like his vision waned suddenly, and he glanced around and he looked at the room he shared with Dirk and then he said, "Yeah. Okay. Okay."

A beaming grin lit up John's face and he opened his door, ushered Dave in, glancing behind them as he shut the door. And then it was dark, and they were alone, and neither of them moved until John just threw off his shirt and, as Dave _watched_, dropped his pants, left them on the floor, and then dived into bed, grinning. He took off his glasses, laying them on the table next to the bed, and then patted the sheets beside him. Dave didn't move. His heart was pumping hard, adrenalin mixing with sour blood in his veins, and suddenly something felt so wrong and he couldn't do it, he just couldn't get into bed with John. He took an unsteady step away and John sat up, frowning a little bit.

"Dave," he whispered, and Dave didn't reply, so John stood up and went to him. "Are you okay?" he whispered. "Come on, let's just go to sleep."

John reached out to take hold of Dave to pull him to the bed, and Dave flinched away. He realized he was shaking.

"I can't," whispered Dave in reply, horrified. "I don't…"

He shook his head, unable to speak. "Okay," said John, just above a whisper now. "Okay, that's okay. Come on, I'll just take you back to your room."

"I got it," said Dave, pulling away from John. "I'm good."

He left John's room quickly, the door shutting almost silently behind him, and then he was alone again. He could hear gentle sounds behind the door of the room he shared with his brother, the rustling of clothes being stripped, the squeaking of someone getting into bed. Dave stood, frozen, before that door. He reached out, put his hand delicately on the doorknob, and then retracted his hand like he'd been burned.

He stood there, and then he sunk to the ground, pressing his back to the wall beside the door, pulling his legs close to his chest, resting his chin on his knees. The house was dark and silent. He slept.

Mere seconds, it felt, after he'd closed his eyes, he jumped awake, startled by the sound of a door opening and closing, someone getting up. Dave stood up quickly, his pulse skyrocketing, and entered the room where Dirk still slept then laid down on his own bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was still mostly dark outside, he could see through the window, but it that early sort of dark that casts an odd gray tinge on the whole world. A few minutes later, he heard a car start outside. John's dad, heading to work. There was silence for a few more minutes, and then Dirk made a sound, shifting in his sleep. Dave sat halfways up and looked at his brother. The sheets were down to his waist, and he was wearing a sweatshirt, which was kind of weird because Bro always slept with no shirt, except it was much colder here so that could be why.

Dirk made another sound and shifted even more, turning around in bed to lie on his opposite side. Dave blinked through the darkness, staring at his brother's prone body. Hold on. There was some kind of stain on the sweatshirt, dark and too precise, a thin diagonal line down his side. As the sun rose, Dave continued to stare at the stain, trying to ascertain what it was.

Finally, something clicked in his brain, and he whispered, "Holy shit," and got out of bed and went to his brother and put his hands on him, shaking him. "Bro," he said. "Dirk."

His brother turned around to look at him from the bed, blinking blearily. "Dave?" he asked, sounding confused. "Whattaya- whataryudoin-" Dave pressed his hand, hard, onto his brother's side. Dirk gasped and flinched deeply, then moaned, "O_ww_…"

"Holy shit," hissed Dave. "You're _bleeding_. Oh my God. What did you do?"

"I'm _not_ bleedin'…"

Dave took forceful hold of the hem of the sweatshirt and pulled it up, revealing a long scratch in Dirk's side, grossly crusted over already. "Oh my _God_," said Dave again, his lip curling and stomach heaving. "What did you _do_ last night?"

Dirk didn't say anything, just pulled his shirt down again and started to rub his eyes, and Dave left him, going to the pile of clothes at the base of Dirk's bed. His shirt from yesterday, still damp from rain, but with telltale pale red streaks.

"Holy _shit_," repeated Dave. "What the fuck did you _do?_"

"Shh," said Dirk. "You'll wake somebody up."

"Yeah, good, maybe _they'll_ be able to talk some sense into you. What the fuck is wrong with you, bro?"

"Nothin'. Dave, just calm down, okay? It's not as bad as it looks."

"It looks like you got fucking _stabbed_ last night and didn't even _tell me_."

Dirk almost chuckled. "I can tell ya' for sure, nobody stabbed me."

"What the fuck does that mean? What happened?"

"Nothin'. Don't worry about it. I'm fine."

"Those are gross, they're gonna get infected and gross. More gross. Jesus. What the fuck are you thinking."

Dirk shed his sweatshirt and twisted his body to get a look at his wounds. "Huh," he said. "Didn't think they'd get bad."

Dave stood there for a while, shaking his head, then left the room, heading to the bathroom. He ducked down into the cabinet under the sink and glanced around for a moment, then took out a spray bottle of Neosporin and took it back to his brother. "Stand up," he said.

"Bro," said Dirk, grinning, but it was see-through. "Come on."

"You're such a fucking kid. Stand up. You can put your own Band-Aids on if you're good."

"Oh," laughed Dirk, "fuck you."

He hesitated, but he got out of bed and stood up, and Dave sprayed disinfectant all over the disgusting scratch down Dirk's side, and then he said, "Okay," and then Dirk rolled his eyes and turned around and Dave sucked in a little breath that stopped his heart, and everything made sense.

"What the _fuck_," he said, and he was too loud.

Dirk turned around. "What?"

"What the fucking fuck, who the fuck were you _fucking_?'

"_What?_"

"You went into the city to get _laid? _Are you _fucking me_?"

Dirk looked at his brother for a long moment, then he shrugged, beating down the fire in his eyes and said, "Yeah, maybe, so what if I did. The first one, I mean."

An electric charge shot through Dave's body and he could've screamed, could've torn his brother apart, right then and there. Trembling in fury, he said nothing, his lips pressed closely together. He stared at his brother's back. In the morning light streaming in with the rising sun, the marks on Dirk's skin were much more visible in sets of three or four, red and long and crisscrossing all over his back. Some places were deep, but none so gross as the one on Dirk's side, which Dave could now see had two other shallow, red scrapes running parallel to it.

Dirk didn't move much, too aware of how close Dave was to him, and as a minute ticked on, Dave felt the anger ebb out of him, suddenly painfully reminded too much of the scars Dirk had been left with the last time a lover left him.

"Jesus," murmured Dave, reaching out to touch the red marks. Dirk cringed a little bit, but bravely hid his discomfort. "These fucking hookers, man. Hope they buy nail clippers with whatever you paid them."

"I didn't pay nobody."

"You probably got, fucking, rabies or tetanus or somethin'. You're fucked."

"Pretty good, too."

"What?"

"Nothin'."

"I'm not joking."

"Me neither."

"Somethin' could'a happened to you last night. Do you get that? Do you understand that, or do you honestly think that-"

"I took a fuckin' night off, Dave, how bad could it'a gone. I'm okay. Only beat up in the good way, heh, you know." He let out a skeezy little laugh and Dave hated him.

Dave didn't say anything.

He said, "Rose gets here today."

Dirk pulled his sweatshirt back over his torso. "Oh yeah?" he asked. "When?"

"Later tonight."

"That'll be good."

"Don't fuck it up."

"I think you say that to me too much."

"If you'd stop fuckin' things up-"

Dirk let out a laugh, but it was quiet and tired. "I'll try to behave."

"Thank God Roxy's comin'. She always knows what to do with you."

Dirk turned around and looked at his brother in the eyes, anger etched into the lines on his face. "Why do you keep doin' that?" he asked, poorly concealed irritation audible in his voice. "Why do you keep try'na tell me what to do?"

"Because you need somebody-"

"I don't need nobody. You hear me? You're fixatin' on this, you know that? It's bad for you, bro."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I mean that you're makin' yourself feel better for whatever's been goin' down with John by treatin' me like a kid-"

"Nothing's _going down_ with John, what the fuck are you-"

Dirk said harshly, "I heard you come in this morning."

Dave didn't say anything.

"So what, so you're fuckin' around with John, that's fine. You're almost a grown-up. But just because some l'il Asian twink popped your goddamn cherry doesn't mean-"

"What the _fuck_ did you just say?"

"_Don't_ get all drama queen on me, dumbass," said Dirk, rolling his eyes. "I know where the fuck it's at."

There was a seething silence. Dave clenched and unclenched his fists, feeling a rush of blood and adrenaline pumping all the way to the tips of his fingers.

Something rose from the pit of his stomach, past his lungs and throat and before he could stop himself he'd uttered, "You're _jealous_."

Dirk tugged the sheets back across his bed. "You're bein' dumb."

Nothing.

"I can take care'a my own needs. Did we not just establish that I got laid last night too?"

Dave was silent.

"Look, no offense, but man, I got _no_ desire to hop in bed with your little boyfr-"

He turned around to face Dave and he saw the look in Dave's eye even though Dave wouldn't meet his gaze, and then his younger brother was gone, disappeared out the door wordlessly. Dirk didn't move.


	5. ACT TWO ACT TWO

Rose's plane got in right before John's dad got home from work, and she called and Dave and him yelled things at her excitedly and then they heard her mom in the background saying, "Rosie, get Google maps up on your phone, I have no idea where the fuck I'm going," and Rose apologized and promised she'd be there in a couple minutes and hung up.

Dave and John hung out on the couch again, while Dirk stayed up in the room. "Have you ever actually seen her?" asked John, glancing at Dave.

"Kinda," replied Dave, shrugging. "Webcam and stuff. My brother's always talking to her and her mom, so."

"Yeah, it seems like your brother knows her really well. Is that kinda weird, or…?"

Dave considered this, then shrugged. "Guess so. I mean, she's like half his age and a minor and everything. But it's not like it's like _that_, you know? She's kinda like a sister to him? Or a daughter, or somethin'."

"That's not really fair."

"What?"

"Well, you're already his brother. And, like, why is it that he gets to treat some random girl that he hardly ever sees like his daughter, when you keep saying that he makes a pretty sucky dad for you?"

"Hey, yo, will you keep your voice down, man? No, but, uh. I don't know. He likes Rose more than he likes me."

"That's not-"

"No, it's fine. I kind of like her more than I like him, so. Fair enough."

The front door opened and closed and a familiar voice called, "Boys!"

John replied, "In here, Dad!" and his father appeared, grinning, just taking off his hat as he leaned into the room where they sat. "Rose called," said John excitedly. "She and her mom are going to be here in like fifteen minutes."

"She and her mother?" repeated Mr. Egbert, suddenly blinking. "Miz Lalonde as well?"

"Yep!"

"Well, gracious," said the man somewhat nervously, tucking his hat under his arm. "I better make myself decent before the lovely woman gets here! Will they be staying for dinner?"

"Um, I'm sure they'll be pretty tired-"

"I'll make enough for everyone regardless! I'm quite sure the little lady would like to spend the night with you lads, yes?"  
"Probably," answered John, beaming at his father. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome, son. Dave, did your brother get home all right last night?"

"Oh, yeah, he's fine."

"Abouts what time did you boys get to bed?"

"_Dad_."

"Right, right, my apologies. I'll leave you two alone to be hip and cool teenagers without some old fogey cramping your style."

John giggled a little bit and his father disappeared. Dave just watched the place where Mr. Egbert had stood. They sat in silence for a few more minutes, but then John asked, "Dave?"

"Mmm."

"About last night…"

Dave's heart seemed to slow a little bit. "Yeah?"

"Um…I just wanted to know…like, are you okay with all this sexy stuff?"

Dave looked at him. "'Scuse me?"

"I don't know," said John quickly, not meeting his gaze. "I just mean like because every time like we start to like, you know, you always seem to get all freaked out and I don't know. You always seemed okay with it online and stuff."

Dave was silent for a moment, staring at John, then asked, "Is this really the best time for this, Egbert?"

"I don't know, I just want to know before Rose gets here I guess because if she stays with us for a while then obviously I don't think we're going to like _do _anything and I don't know if that's because you don't want to or…"

"No," said Dave distractedly, shaking his head. "No, that's not it. I do want to, like, no, I'm totally all for that shit."

"Then why did you-"

"I don't know. Because my brother was right there, I was so worried about him, I couldn't like. I don't know."

There was a silence. Then, gingerly, John asked, "Have you had sex before, Dave?"

"No," said Dave, but John was still looking at him and he realized he hadn't said it out loud. He opened his mouth, trying not to think about it, then quickly closed his mouth again because he could still feel it, still taste it and it made him sick.

Dave was quiet for a long time. John reached out and took his hand and Dave didn't pull away. "You said," John said quietly, "that you had to tell me something."

Dave was shaking his head. "That was a couple months ago," he mumbled.

"Have things changed?"

"No. Yes. John, I don't fucking know, okay."

"Can you at least tell me who? Was it Terezi? I could see how you and her would-"

"No. Of course not. I didn't say that."

"I just want you to know that she's maybe not exactly all as awesome as you think she might be? Because like I know you like her a lot but she's done some not-cool things and Vriska said-"

"_Don't_," said Dave loudly, too loudly, "even _say_ her name."

"I don't get what your problem with her is. Terezi was just as bad to her and she was to-"

"She is spawn of Satan herself. Believe me. I know her mom."

John fell silent. "Well," he began, uncertainly. "That wasn't my point."

"What was?"

"I don't know, man, I just want to know if there's something I should know."

There was a short silence. And then Dave said, "Yeah. Yeah, there is something you should know, John."

John sat up straight, blinking a little bit. He adjusted his glasses and looked at Dave. "Okay," he said.

Dave didn't speak again for a moment, then, his voice hard, he said, "I'm only friends with Tavros because of Vriska."

John frowned. "What does that have to do with-"

"Hold on. I've known Tav forever. He was that weird kid. He walked around talking to himself in junior high, yeah, you know, _that kid_. Vriska was a year older than us and he was…I don't know. He really liked her. He followed her places sometimes. He was a really smart kid but he had no idea how to talk to girls. Talk to anyone, really. He didn't have any friends and that's why-"

He stopped abruptly, something closing in his throat.

"She played a stupid joke on him," continued Dave. "Because she knew that he'd do it and she knew that nobody'd stop him because everybody was so full of shit. It was so wrong. I almost didn't do anything but…"

Dave closed his eyes, shook his head. "There was this _stupid_ tree, okay," he continued, sounding a little bit desperate now. "She told him if he got to the top she'd go out with him. He went for it. He was almost all the way up by the time I started yellin' at him to get down. He didn't have anybody. I had to do something."

"Tavros climbed a tree?" asked John, confused. "Isn't Tavros your wheelchair friend?"

Dave ignored the question and continued, "I was a quarter of the way up after him when he fell."

John said nothing.

"He hit the branch I was on. I broke my arm and he hurt his spine."

Dave leaned back on the couch.

"He couldn't talk when he woke up," he continued. "But when he started to again, he kept asking for her. That's probably the only reason I stuck around. To keep remindin' him it was her fault."

They were silent. And then John said, "Jeez. I mean, you always said that she did something bad to him but I always thought…"

"Just stay away from her."

Nothing. And then John began, "That's terrible and all but it doesn't really answer what I was-"

The doorbell rang. Dave's heart lifted into his throat and he looked away then back at John, who hesitated just a moment, then allowed his eyes to brighten. Dave returned the grin, finding it easier than he thought it'd be.

And then they were both racing towards the door, even as they heard John's father somewhere in the house saying, "Oh, dear, and I haven't even started dinner yet!"

It was kind of weird when the door swung open and then they were just _there_. John screamed a little bit in delight and threw his arms around Rose, who grinned and accepted the embrace, but kept her eyes open, watching Dave. "Hello, boys," she said, and her voice was low and smooth, so different than anything Dave had ever heard on the phone. "Nice to see you too, John."

"It's so great that you're here!" said John breathlessly, letting her go. "Oh my gosh! This is so exciting! Wow! It's so great to see you!"

"Hi, Rose," said Dave, nodding at her.

"Dave."

"Hey, Miz Lalonde."

"No, Dave, honey. _Mom_ or _Roxy_. Okay? Same for you, John."

John was grinning so intensely Dave thought he might burst into tears. "Oh my goodness," he said. "It is _so _good to meet you. Come on, come on, come in!"

They entered and, as John shut the door behind them, his father appeared. "Miz Lalonde!" he said, blinking a little too much, his smile a little too wide. "What a pleasure to finally meet you in person."

She extended her arm for a handshake, but he took her hand and gently lowered his lips to it. She giggled. "Oh, Mister Egbert," she said. "Believe me, the pleasure is _all_ mine."

Behind her mother, Rose glanced at Dave and feigned gagging.

"Thank you so much for coming out here," John's dad continued. "How was your flight?"

"Lovely," replied Roxy, her face flushed slightly pink. "Thank you _very_ much."

"Can I help you bring in your things?"

She giggled again. "Oh, Mister Egbert, that's so kind, but as I said, we'll be staying at your local Holiday Inn, thank you."

"Are you sure? I'm positive we have room for you here."

"_Very_ kind, but we already made reservations."

"Can Rose stay here a while, though?" asked John, unable to stay silent. "Just like for a sleepover or something?"

"Absolutely!" answered Roxy, turning around to look at the three of them, delighted. "I mean, uh, if your father agrees, John."

"Of course, of course," said Mr. Egbert, and he looked at Ms. Lalonde for a moment. She transparently batted her eyelashes at him, but before Rose could tear her mother away to remind her of her dignity, Roxy's eyes wandered past John's dad and refocused on the man standing behind him, on the bottom step. Her breath slowed and her expression melted into something softer, gentler.

"Hey, you," he said, and John's dad stepped aside and Roxy opened her arms and went to Dirk, pulling him down to her level and taking hold of him, tightly. He laughed a little and returned the embrace. "Hey. It's good to see you."

"Oh my God," she said, letting go of him, but still holding on to his arm. She put one hand to her face, looking him up and down. "Oh, baby. Wow. Look at you."

Dirk shrugged away from her. "Hey, come on," he murmured, glancing at the others. "You see me like every other day online, this ain't any different." He looked at the kids and called, "Hey, Rose. How ya' doin'?"

"Fantastic," she said. "So great to finally be here. I've been waiting a couple months for this."

"Yeah, for sure. Gotta have a psychotherapy sesh before we leave, right?"

"Of course! I can't wait."

There was an awkward little pause as Roxy continued to watch Dirk, her eyes big and wide and emotional. Then John's dad stepped forward and asked, "So! I take it you ladies will be staying for dinner, then?"

"Oh, no," said Roxy, snapping her gaze away from Dirk. "It's fine. I thought we might want to head to the hotel and set up, really."

"No, I insist!"

"Rose can," conceded Roxy, but she glanced back at Dirk and then continued, "but I think I'll go back, at least. I am a little tired, I'd like to get some rest. Dirk, would you like to come help me unpack?"  
"Yep," said Dirk, without even looking at her. "That'd be great."

"Okay," said Roxy, nodding, taking hold of him again. "Thank you so very much, Mister Egbert. I hope it would be all right if Rose stayed with the boys for the night?"

"Absolutely all right! More than all right! I'm sure the kids have a lot of catching up to do!"

Addressing her daughter, Roxy continued, "You wanna go get your stuff, hon?"

"My suitcase is a little big for one night."

"Why don't you go grab what you need and I'll unpack the rest for you at the hotel."

"Right." Rose reached out and took John's and Dave's hands, then dragged them outside. It was cold, but at least the rain had let up. She opened the trunk of the rental car and tugged on a suitcase, unzipping part of it. "So," she said, as she rifled through the contents. "How are you guys? What have you been doing without me?"

"Floundering," replied Dave. "I don't know how we survived."

"So sweet."

"It's true," said John, shrugging. "I'm really glad you're here, Rose."

Rose glanced at Dave, so quickly that Dave found he could ignore it. "Your flattery is kind, but unnecessary. God knows that you two've been enjoying being alone together for a while, right?"

"Well, it's not like we've been exactly _alone_," answered John, shrugging. "My dad's been here a lot, and Dave's bro too."

"Oh, goodness gracious. That certainly needs to be remedied." She pulled a smaller bag out of her suitcase. "If you guys can get Dirk out of the house, I can probably take care of your dad, John."

"How?"

"Are you kidding? Did you not _see_ the awkward divorcee chemistry between him and my mom?"

"Yeah," said Dave fairly. "She's got a point there, John."

"Huh."

There was a pause as Rose peered into her suitcase again. "I bet I can get my bro out of the house when Jade gets here," continued Dave. "Jake's coming too, and I think they have some unfinished business, so."

"That's perfect. My mom and John's dad'll go out, your brother and Jade's uncle'll go out, and Jade and I will find something to do as well. Maybe I'll introduce her to Kanaya. Oh, that reminds me, Dave, you _have_ to meet Kanaya, you would _love_ her, she is so wonderful."

"I totally forgot Kanaya was coming back!" said John excitedly. "That's so great, when is she getting here?"

"She was on my flight!" answered Rose. "Her family was at the airport to pick her up."

"You mean Karkat? And his brother too?"

"Yes. They're odd, but I _love_ her mother. I _love _her."

"She is _very_ pretty."

"I'm cold," said Dave. "Can we go back inside?"

"Oh, yes," said Rose, glancing at her stuff again. "John, do you think you have something I could wear as pajamas? I really don't want to dig all the way into this thing."

"Sure!" answered John. "Although my stuff may be a little small for you."

"Oh, John. You and your lack of tact are so adorable."

"What? No, wait, I wasn't saying that you're-"

"I got shit," said Dave. "It'd be kind of weirdly sexy to see you wearin' my stuff to bed."

"Keep your thoughts clean, Strider," said Rose casually, zipping up her suitcase. "Else I'll tell on you."

Their eyes met and they exchanged a grin, then Rose closed the trunk of the car and they headed back inside. Rose kissed her mom goodbye for the night and Dave nodded to his bro as he left, and then they retreated up to John's room. Dave didn't look at the bed, thinking that everything looked so different in the light, in the daytime.

John's dad made steak for dinner and Rose talked with him more than Dave ever had in the past week. She was kind and cheerful and spoke easily, with far more interest and sincerity than Dave even knew how to fake. He sat in mostly silence, watching her, his heart alternatively swelling and breaking. John couldn't stop beaming at her, so proud and happy and excited to have her there. Dave sat there and poked at his steak, feeling suddenly absolutely alone.

They slept in John's room. Dave went to the room he shared with Dirk – who wasn't home yet – not that Dave expected him to come back at all that night – and, after a moment's consideration, took out a pair of boxers and old t-shirt for Rose. She smirked when he handed them to her, and John looked at them then at Dave, his face a little bit pale, and when she left to pee and get changed and brush her teeth, John put his arms around Dave's waist and pouted a little bit and Dave rolled his eyes and kissed him.

Something fell into place right there, and the reassuring, joking kiss suddenly turned deep and heavy, and John settled a little into Dave's arms and Dave's hands slid down John's back and there it was, there they were, Dave couldn't explain it but it was happening and he pressed his body to John's, feeling a tugging sensation deep in his navel, and then the door opened and Rose said, "Oh, excuse me, I, uh-"

They broke apart, and she laughed, then covered her mouth.

"Whoops," she said, backing out of the room again. "I apologize, please continue."

"No," said John, smiling sheepishly, his face flushed red. "No, no, you don't have to go!"

"Yeah," said Dave, still a little dazed. "Come on in, Rose, we could use a third party."

"We could what now?"

Rose giggled. "No thanks," she said. "The whole peen business still makes me a little bit uncomfortable."

"Oh my gosh, you guys," said John, going to his door, glancing down the hall. "What if my dad heard you?"

Ignoring this, Dave put an arm around Rose's shoulders and asked, "So what does that mean? Still playing for the other team?"

"Maybe," she replied, removing his arm. "Kanaya and I…may or may not have a…thing."

"A thing?" echoed Dave approvingly. "Sounds serious."

"Yes," said Rose, curling up on John's bed. "It also sounds like none of your business."

"Oh, come on," said Dave, sidling up to her on the bed. "We share our personal and increasingly erotic romantic pursuits with you. Shouldn't you reciprocate?"

"Mm. No. I have a responsibility to be professional with you."

"Professional? How so?"

"Because if I'm not," she replied, her face so close to his, her voice low, "then you'd _never_ stop coming on to me."

There was a pause, and John said, "Uh, guys?"

They both turned around. "Sorry, John," said Dave. "Can't help it. The Stri-londes have way too much chemistry."

Rose didn't reply to this, only watched John's expression. "So," she said matter-of-factly, sliding off the bed. "I call the duvet and a few pillows. You boys can have the bed."

"No," protested John and Dave, almost at the same time. Dave glanced at John, who continued, "Really, Rose, you've been in an airplane all day, you deserve the soft bed. I'll take the floor."

"Nah, it's okay," said Dave, standing up. "I got it. You two get the bed."

"You're my guests! How rude would it be if one of you was on the floor?"

"John, for reals."

"You get the bed," he said firmly. "And that's final."

There was a little pause, and then Rose joined Dave on the bed. "That's fine," she said. "If we do end up accidentally copulating, we'll try to at least keep it quiet."

Dave punched her gently in the shoulder. She flashed a grin at him and he looked back to John, then back at her again. "Are your eyes a different color?" he asked, confused.

She blinked and looked away, smiling. "Oops," she said. "And I'd been fooling you so well. Yes, I have a confession to make: my eyes aren't really bright purple."

"What?" asked Dave, sounding actually alarmed. "But…"

"Colored contacts," she explained, pulling a little contact case out of the small bag she'd taken into the bathroom. "They're actually prescription but I mostly just wear them because they look so great."

Dave just stared at her.

"Oh, come on," she said, still smiling at him. "You couldn't have _actually_ thought my eyes were really that color. That's not even biologically feasible."

Dave looked away, and nodded. "Yeah," he said.

There was an awkward silence, and then John took a few pillows from his bed and set up his place on his floor and turned out the lights. Dave took off his shades and placed them on the bedside table. Rose snuggled into the bed, the sheets distinctly separating them, but close enough that he could still feel the warmth of her body.

Staring up at the ceiling he couldn't see, he asked, "What do you think it's gonna be like when Jade gets here?"

"Awesome," replied John, through the darkness. "Jade's the greatest. I can't wait until she comes. It's gonna be so great."

"I miss her," said Rose fondly. "I haven't spoken with her in a very long time. She's still travelling with her uncle, isn't she?"

"I think so," said Dave. "They're in, like, Australia right now, I think." He paused. "I think my brother talked to him."

He felt Rose turn to face him. "Oh yeah?" she asked. "Do you know what he said?"

"No," answered Dave. "I hope it wasn't anything stupid."

"Is your brother dating Jake, Dave?"

"No. Apparently they used to, but I don't think they will anymore. My bro's too fucked up to sustain any kind of long-term relationship anymore, not even with his own brother." Dave realized what that sounded like the moment it came out of his mouth and he felt his heart skip a beat and stop moving, but neither Rose nor John seemed to take it that way.

"I think my cousin likes Jade's uncle," said John, sounding a little confused. "Which is kind of weird."

"Oh, yes," added Rose. "Jane definitely does."

"How do you know?"

"She and my mom are always talking. My mom basically talks to everyone, I suppose."

"Does she talk to Jake a lot?"

"Sometimes. As much as she likes Jane, I get the impression she's trying to steer him towards your brother, though, Dave. Maybe she thinks it would be good for him."

"It wouldn't."

"Why wouldn't it?" asked John. "You were just talking about how much he needs to be more responsible. Maybe if he were with somebody like Jade's uncle, that'd help him get more responsible."

"No," said Dave, shaking his head even though neither of them could see him. "I just said, he's too fucked up for that."

"Why?" pressed John. "What messed him up so bad? I don't get it, Dave."

"He's always been messed up. It's his natural state."

"No," interrupted Rose. "I remember how he used to be."

Silence.

John asked, "Did your mom ever date Dirk's bro, Rose?"

"No," replied Rose. "No, no, no. Like – God, it was like ten years ago – but he came up to our house for a while. I think it was less than a year, but it felt like forever. I was little, but he was pretty young too, our age, actually, and he just…"

She trailed off. Dave said nothing.

"He was so wonderful," she said quietly. "This was right after my dad left, so my mother was still drinking and she wasn't always lucid, and he…took care of me."

"Lucky you," said Dave darkly.

He felt her reach out to him and trail her hand trail down his body, searching for his hand, then clasping his fingers in hers. "I'm sorry things have been so bad for you and him. I don't understand what changed either. I mean…" she hesitated, then continued, "Everything they said about him, initially, was true. I remember that he sent us all the paperwork to double-check that everything was okay. We still have it. My mom keeps a folder with all of Dirk's stuff in her office. He's manic-depressive and has some impulse control issues. But they were mild. Nothing bad enough to keep him from getting custody of you, Dave, and you were young enough and he was young enough that anything serious would've sent you away, but they let him keep you."

"He didn't keep me," said Dave suddenly. "He doesn't own me."

Rose paused, her grip on his hand loosening. "That's not what I meant."

Tiredly, Dave said, "I know. Sorry."

"What I mean is that the worst that ever happened was that one break a couple years ago, and he went to the hospital for that and got much better. My mom put him in therapy after that. Did you know? He quit after a year or two."

Dave didn't say anything. "Wow," said John. "I didn't even know. I thought you were just…I don't know, I thought you were just angry at him, Dave."

"No," said Dave. "Yeah. He's fucked up."

"Why was he in the hospital?"

Rose didn't answer. Dave let go of her hand. "He tried to kill himself."

"_What?_"

"This was like, two weeks after I broke my arm. He'd been spending a lot of time with me and Tavros and Tavros's dad and not going into work so he lost his job and so one day we were at home and he just…he took a knife out of the kitchen and turned on the shower. We don't have a bathtub. He left a note in the kitchen that said to call Roxy and not to go in the bathroom. We don't have a lock on the door in the bathroom so I don't know what he was thinking but he wasn't even in the shower, he was just looking at himself in the mirror, and then I started yelling at him and he started yelling at me, and he tried to get me to leave. I hit him pretty hard, but I ditched when he picked the knife up again and started yelling more. He just kind of…lost it then. Crying and shouting and everything. I called Latula and she came and got him. He could'a killed her. But we didn't tell them that."

"Oh my God, Dave. How come you never told me this?"

"I don't know. It was one time. It's not important."

"It's terrifying."

"It's okay. He came home better. I guess once in a while he just needs a little release."

"He was much better after that, wasn't he? The therapy and the medication. He got a lot better. By the time he quite therapy, his confidence was back, and he was happy and he didn't call us as much, but when he did he was just ecstatic. He had everything under control."

"Can we not?" asked Dave, irritation in his voice. "Can we just, not talk about my brother? There are more important things."

"Right," said John. "Okay."

They didn't say anything.

John asked, "Are you okay, Dave?"

Dave groaned.

"_You're_ more important than he is."

Rose leaned in and put her arms around Dave. "Mm-hm," she assented, so quiet that John didn't even hear.

"I mean, you've kind of been worrying about him since you got here. I want to like, you know…do things with you. We all want to hang out with you and stuff and it's really hard when you're always thinking of him, you know? I mean I know you're worried about him but now like, Rose's mom will take care of him. You don't have to."

Dave didn't say anything. There was a long silence, then.

And then Dave said, quietly, "Yeah. You're right."

He held tightly on to Rose's arm, his hands shaking a little.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Thanks, you guys. Thank you."

Neither of them said anything, but Dave felt a hand tugging at the sheets at the side of the bed, and he lowered one hand to hold on to John's, and he allowed Rose to tuck her head into his shoulder, gently trailing her fingers back and forth along the top of his hand.


	6. ACT TWO ACT THREE

They were sitting in the Starbucks in the airport, across from where Jade was supposed to be coming out. John's dad was sipping a non-fat chai latte, flipping through the paper, and the three of them sat around a table adjacent to him. John had a hot chocolate with extra cream, Dave had a caramel Frappuccino ("_Fuck you guys, it's not even cold_"), and Rose was nursing an eggnog latte.

"How much longer do we have to wait?" asked John, leaning heavily on the table.

"Not a whole lot longer," answered Rose matter-of-factly. "Her flight was only delayed just two hours, which means that she should be landing about now. What with American security and everything, especially with her passport, it might take a while for her to get out."

"_American security_," echoed Dave, mockingly, almost bitter. "Like you would know any other kind."

"I would, actually," she said, without even glancing at him. "_J'ai été sur les voyages scolaires en France chaque Octobre depuis la sixième année._"

"Your grade school Spanish doesn't impress me. My bro's fluent."

"I can't even tell if that's irony or not, Strider."

"Oh!" said John suddenly, sitting up straight. "That reminds me!" He took one of the napkins on the table and then leaned back to ask, "Dad, do you have a pen?" to which Mr. Egbert replied, "Sure, sport," and tossed a sleek, shiny pen at his son. John drew something very carefully on the napkin, and then turned it around for Dave and Rose to see.

"Wow," said Rose, totally sincere from what Dave could detect (although he doubted it). "That is really cool, John. What does it say?"

"It's just Dave's name," said John, a little smile on his face. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"You can write Japanese?" asked Dave, intrigued. Rose shot a glare at him.

John giggled. "No," he said. "I'm Korean, Dave."

"Yeah," said Dave, nodding. "Right. I know. I was just… You can write Korean?"

"Not really," replied John. "Jane showed me how. I can write some other stuff but not a lot."

"Can you do my name?"

"Um, maybe. Actually yeah, yeah. It's just the character for a rose, like the actual flower."

Rose nodded, amused. "One would think so."

John scribbled something else on the napkin. "I think that's it."

"How do you say it?"

John pronounced the word and it was strange to hear his familiar voice switch into something new entirely. It wasn't like Rose speaking French, because Rose had that voice where you always were sort of expecting her to lapse into a romance language, but for a second as John pronounced the word, and for the second time at Rose's request, Dave lost himself, and he saw John as a completely new kid, grinning and laughing and blushing a little bit.

Rose repeated the word back to him and he laughed again, excited. "You got it!" he said. "Oh my gosh, when Jane comes over you totally have to say it for her, she'll be so impressed."

"Where is your cousin, anyway?" asked Dave, still watching John, hands tucked into the pocket of his hoodie. "I thought she was gonna be around too."

"She's still working," replied John. "You know. With the _witch_."

Rose let out a loud sigh and Dave chuckled. "I highly doubt that Jane is working _with_ Betty Crocker, John," Rose told him. "I don't even think Betty Crocker is a real person."

"That's what she wants you to think."

"You and Karkat's dad, hm? Birds of a feather."

John's smile faltered a little bit, but then he shrugged. "Guess so. Speaking of Karkat, I just had a thought, should we have invited him to come along with us? He sure likes Jade, and Jade likes him."

"No," said Dave. "What? No. Why? I don't like that kid."

"You've never even met him."

"I don't see how that's relevant."

"Well, just so you know, we're probably going to go over to his house pretty soon. Kanaya's house, I guess. Or you know what, it would probably be better if we invited him and Kanaya and her mom over to my house, if we could."

Rose chuckled. "Just so you can deliberately not invite his brother?"

"I hate that guy. Everybody hates that guy."

"He's not so bad. He makes some good points sometimes."

"He's too much like their dad."

Rose looked at him. "How so?"

John shrugged. "He, like, straight-up makes up bad guys. Like his old man did."

"I thought you empathized with his dad."

"Okay, I do, but that's different."

"I-"

An announcement over the PA system. Rose fell silent, glancing up, listening. Dave slurped his Frappuccino through his extra-wide straw.

Her eyes lit up and she said, "That's them!"

"What?" asked John and Dave stopped drinking his Frappuccino. Rose stood up and rested a gentle hand on Dave's shoulder, standing right behind him, gazing up at the screens above them.

"Look, baggage arrived. They're probably almost through."

"Okay!" said John, leaping to his feet. "Come on, come on!" He told his dad that they were going to go wait at the gate for Jade (it was like ten yards away though, so Mr. Egbert just kind of glanced up and nodded), and then excitedly led Rose and Dave away. "Oh my gosh," he said, beaming. "I feel like we should be holding up a sign or something. Something that has like their last name on it or something."

"Harley or English?"

"Oh, damn! They have different last names! That's weird. I don't know. Harley, probably. I like Jake but Jade's cooler, so." Dave nodded his agreement. "Wow, wow, wow! When was the last time you talked with her? I chatted with her a little like a few weeks ago but she says she's been so busy."

"A couple days ago I talked to her," said Rose. "She was so excited, as usual."

"It's been like," murmured Dave, "a couple months."

Rose and John both looked at him. "Months?"

Dave shrugged. "I been busy too."

There was an awkward pause, and then Rose reassured him, "Well, I'm sure she'll be very glad to see you. She cares about you very much, you know."

"Y'all care 'bout me too much."

John giggled. Dave glanced at him.

"What?"

"Nothing," said John, grinning sheepishly. "I just – have I mentioned yet that I really like your accent? It's so cute. _Y'all_."

Dave rolled his eyes. John took hold of his arm and kissed his cheek. Dave didn't respond.

Rose said to John, "I think they're planning to stay at our hotel too, so at some point you guys should come over and we can go crazy. Room service doesn't ask for ID, I already checked."

"How have you checked already? You haven't even seen your hotel yet!"

"I checked online."

"Rose. I am going to tell you something now. Don't freak out, but not everything you read on the Internet is true."

A little faux gasp. "_What?_"

Dave stopped listening to them, his eyes fixed on the door through which Jade would come. It had been a while since he talked to Jade. He hadn't really been thinking about it because Jade was the fucking best and he couldn't wait to see her in person (had he ever heard her voice? He didn't think so – Jake's, sure, through the thin walls of the apartment, those late-night conversations with Dirk when he thought Dave was asleep), but suddenly a thrill of something terrifying ran through him. He hadn't spoken to Jade for months, and he'd been kind of a fucking hot mess the last time. She'd talked him down. He remembered it now and he remembered too why he hadn't remembered it. They'd spent, what, five or so hours talking to each other, and at first he'd been shaking but by the end of it he'd been crying with laughter. Jade was the fucking best. Christ. He loved her.

Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes passed. People started pouring out of the doors, but they didn't see Jade or her uncle. Half an hour. Three-quarters. They'd been standing for just over sixty minutes, some of the only people left waiting at the gate, when, finally, the doors opened and a girl with brown skin and long black hair and big round glasses came bounding out, a grin on her round face. It was almost as if she saw them before they saw her because she let out a little shriek and dropped her suitcase and sprinted for them, and John was her first target because he screamed too, and she didn't stop letting out those yelping sounds until she'd reached over and collected Dave and Rose into a huge embrace as well, and it was like her arms could circle around all three of them and Rose started to laugh and John was, shit, John was crying a little bit, and Dave just looked at her.

She looked nothing like Jake. Well, a little bit, but Dave had always suspected that their actual relation was a little bit dubious and now he was pretty sure. She was taller than he had expected, easily a few inches above Rose and John, and just barely above Dave's eye level. Her hair was long and black and looked kind of tangled but Dave really wasn't surprised at that. Dave _was_ surprised at how noticeable her boobs were, at the way he felt them pressed against his body when she hugged him, and the way she wasn't short and thin and womanly, like Rose, with her slender build and wide hips, but fuller, slimmer around the hips and thighs but bigger everywhere else. When she pulled away and reached out to take hold of Rose and John again, fuckin' shit, man, look at the fuckin' guns on her. Dave felt suddenly inadequate.

Jake, on the other hand – or maybe on a similar hand – was shorter than Dave expected, hardly taller than Jade at all, stocky and well-built and almost _bursting_ out of the shirt wrapped around his chest. Dave and John both did a kind of double-take at Jake, and Dave was pretty sure Rose did too, hell, John's fucking dad did too, everybody did, hot damn. Who knew the English-Harleys were so fucking attractive?

Jake picked up Jade's suitcase and rolled it over to join them, poorly disguising his glances around, behind Dave, looking for someone who wasn't there. Dave felt a surge of anger at his brother for not being there. What a fucking coward.

It was easiest for Rose to talk, mostly because John and Dave were still surreptitiously trying to avoid looking at Jake's legs, uncovered up to just above the knee, or Jade's boobs, which weren't like the kind of big boobs you see in porn and stuff but just a regular old real-life girl-chest like they had never seen before; as they headed out to the car, Rose took Jade's arm and asked, "So, where have you been?"

"Oh my goodness," said Jade, beaming. "All over! We went back to India for a while but that got boring pretty soon, so we hiked up through Nepal to Bangladesh and Vietnam, and we were in Cambodia for like six months, that was so great! I love Cambodia, it's the best country! One day I'm going to take you there, Rose, I promise, you'll love it so much, it's beautiful! Anyway we had to quit with that doctors group we were with in India when we took off, but we found this travelling school on our way down and so we were with them for a while. I think that when we get home we're going to mail off all our old books to them because they definitely needed some! Gosh, I haven't been home in forever, though, I wonder when we're going back! It's so nice to be back in the States, though, I haven't had a good cheeseburger in years! What have you been up to, Rose?"

Meanwhile, Dave ditched them a little, striding up to where Jake was following John's dad, heading towards the car. "Hey," he said, doing his best to cover his nervousness with nonchalance.

"Hello there, Dave," Jake replied, with a kind grin. Dave did his best not to let the stupid accent charm him. "Been quite looking forward to this holiday season?"

"Oh, yeah," said Dave. "Quite. I mean, yeah. Really cool to see everyone and stuff. We should totally do it more often or something, it's just that we all live so far away, so."

"Pish posh," sniffed Jake. "If we can make it all the way back from the Far East, one would assume you lot could very well make it from Canada, or wherever the bloody hell the Lalondes nest."

Dave chuckled a little. "Canada," he repeated, because his mind was suddenly blank and he couldn't think of a damn thing to say. He glanced back at Jade, whose eyes slid around to meet his just at that exact second, as if she knew something somehow that she could not know. Dave didn't say anything for a moment, then cleared his throat and said, "Dirk is doing some important, like, stuff with Rose's mom right now. Or else he'd be here." He paused. "He wanted to come," he lied.

Jake shook his head a tiny bit, almost imperceptibly. "That's all right," he said good-naturedly. "I wouldn't want to pull the poor man away from business! We shall have plenty of time later, one would assume, to catch up and all sorts of nonsense. Thanks very much though, Dave, I do appreciate it."

Dave nodded and didn't know what to say so he went back to where Jade was with Rose and John. Jade saw him, met his gaze but didn't say anything, not to him directly. He was grateful for that.

Roxy met them at the hotel (she and Rose were staying at the same place as Jake and Jade), and informed them that she was going to be stealing Jake that evening for drinks with Dirk and Jane (Jane was still working, but was taking off early that night). Nobody objected, although maybe John's dad looked a little put out, and Dave really wanted to reach out to the guy to say, "Dude, don't worry about it, Jake and my bro are literally the gayest, you got zero competition," but he didn't do that.

On the way to John's house, Jade enthusiastically started asking all sorts of questions about the neighborhood and the little town and so once they got back, he got out sweaters for everyone and two big umbrellas and they went out for a walk.

It wasn't _pouring _rain anymore but it was that ugly sort of drizzly that made Dave feel gross. He'd been wearing one of John's sweatshirts a lot lately and the Frappuccino had left his fingers sort of cold so John made him wear a second jacket, one with warm, fuzzy pockets he could stick his hands into. He didn't say a whole lot. John took Jade's hands and led her outside and began talking on and on and on about his town and his neighborhood and his school and what it was like in this little slice of Washingtonian heaven, and Jade laughed and talked just as quickly back to him. They were perfectly in sync, somehow completely on the same level, but not charged in like, a sexual way, something simpler, easier.

Jade stopped them after they got a couple blocks away, just past John's school. She held one of John's hands and one of Dave's hands, and looked around at the three of them. She leaned on to Dave beside her, then in, and Rose reciprocated the movement and they were all touching each other, close and warm despite the gentle gray drizzle.

Jade whispered, "I am so happy to be here with all of you."

Shyly, they murmured their agreement. She squeezed Dave's hand and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, near the corner of his mouth, her lips lingering there for a few long seconds.

The next day or so was filled with the four of them talking over everything, at first awkwardly, but the more they spoke the more they got used to it, and after a while things settled down and it was so natural again, just like it had always been.

"And anyway," said Dave reasonably, "my _real _question is whether or not that'd even be possible, considering the wheelchair and everything." He sucked on the end of a candy cane, carefully avoiding John's eye while doing so.

Jade inspected Dave's crude drawing. "I think you could do it," she said. "You'd need some special materials but it shouldn't be hard. Do you have access to a welder at home?"

Dave laughed. "No."

"Oh. Well, how do you expect to get these spinning blades right here if you can't weld them on?"

"Woah, look, the kid only has _one _wheelchair. And welding sounds kind of permanent."

"I thought that was the whole point of this!"

"The point of this is to make him a total _badass_, not chop off the legs of anyone who comes remotely near him. That's the opposite of what I want."

"Okay, well, I think this design might be a tad extreme, then."

"I want to keep the saw here."

"If that malfunctions, it'll drop on his head."

"He can take it."

"_Dave_."

"I'm serious! I'll make him wear a helmet all the time, no problem. But okay, then, how do I get the lights to work?"

"Mmm. You'd have to get those specially made. I could probably do it, but it'd take me a while."

"How long?"

"Maybe a day or so."

Dave laughed again. "Have I ever told you how much I fuckin' love you, Jade?"

"Not enough," she said smartly, grinning at him. "The only thing I'd need then are the measurements of the wheels."

"Damn. Okay. I'll get those to you." He paused, then asked, "If I get you those numbers soon enough, you think you can get this shit done before I leave?"

"Maybe," said Jade. "I'd need exactly the model of wheelchair and everything, and we'd have to go shopping for some stuff, but I think I could do it."

"Awesome," said Dave. "Cool. Great. You know, you should really talk with my brother. This science shit is totally his business."

"You're good at science, aren't you, Dave?"

"No," said Dave, shaking his head. "Honestly, I ain't good at anything, really."

"That's not true," said Rose, looking up from her book. "You're good at being a total dork."

"Thanks, yo," called Dave. "You're cute too."

"She's got a point," said John, and Dave just rolled his eyes, pulled the candy cane out of his mouth and popped it into John's.

"Suck on that," he instructed, peering at John over his shades, "for now."

Rose rolled her eyes. Jade giggled.

John slowly pulled the candy cane out of his mouth, batting his eyelids faux-seductively. "Yes, sir."

Dave had to look away then, his face suddenly hot, a little bit indecently turned on. "Anyway," he continued, clearing his throat, "I'm totally serious, though, you and my bro should talk science shit. He has a shit ton of designs for like robots and stuff that he hasn't touched in like ten years."

"I'm not too big into robots," answered Jade fairly. "Physics and chemistry and stuff. Physical sciences, that's more my thing."

"You do a lot of physics in Cambodia, Jade?" asked Rose dubiously.

"Molecular astrophysics, actually," replied Jade. "What about you in your fancy school?"

"I'm more of an English-history type person," said Rose. "Did you know I'm working on my first novel?"

"It's a Harry Potter knock-off," said Dave, to Jade. "Where everybody fucks."

Jade asked, "What's Harry Potter?"

They all stared at her. John dramatically took off his glasses and narrowed his eyes.

"Okay," said John, standing up, handing the candy cane back to Dave (who took it, his stomach lurching at the way John stood up and took control), "you know what this means."

"Oh, please, do tell us," said Rose, grinning, "what does it mean?"

"It means," continued John, "that we need to give Jade a crash-course in American pop culture."

"What?" asked Jade, surprised. "No, that's okay. I guess I like South Asian pop culture much better-"

"John, you're Asian," said Dave. "Don't you have something in common? We could do a K-Pop sesh, I wouldn't object to that."

Rose blinked at Dave. "You like K-Pop?"

"You know what K-Pop _is?_"

"Korea is not South Asia," said John, shaking his head. "Plus I don't listen to any Korean music or anything. I guess Jane does. We could call her. I guess."

"I've been to Korea!" said Jade brightly. "It was just for a few days but it was very nice. Are you from there, John?"

"My family is, originally," he replied, shrugging. "I'm not. I've never been there."

"That's totally racist," remarked Dave. "That's like asking me if I'm from Mexico just because I speak Spanish."

"You don't speak Spanish," said Rose suspiciously. "And I don't think it's racist to guess that you might be Mexican. You and your brother look a little Hispanic."

"Woah, _Latino_, Rose. Jesus. So damn offensive."

"Dave-"

"Silence, _gringa_."

"Oh, please. If you have any Latin American blood in you, it has been thoroughly Americanized by now."

"You don't know that, white girl."

"_Strider_ doesn't sound all that foreign to me. And the blonde hair? _Please_. Not to mention the fact that your eyes throw the whole thing off-"

"What did you say?" said Dave, and suddenly all amusement had dropped out of his voice. Rose blinked and glanced, almost worriedly, at Jade and John, then opened her mouth, but Dave spoke again before she could: "No," he said quickly, shaking his head. "Nevermind. What the fuck ever."

Silence.

Jade leaned in and put her arm around Dave. "I like your eyes," she said quietly in his ears. "I think they're very exciting."

"Thanks, Jade," he murmured without looking up at Rose. "But I ain't really looking to be all that exciting-"

"Yeah, you are," replied Jade simply. "I think that your unusual eyes will only help you in Hollywood, Dave."

"_Hollywood?_" asked John, his smile instantly disappearing. "What?"

Dave looked at Jade, his jaw clenching, then turned around and didn't look John in the eye and muttered, "Yeah, whatever…"

"Hollywood?" repeated John. "Hold on, _what? _What do you mean?"

"Oh," said Jade, covering her mouth. "Whoops. I guess I thought – whoops."

"You thought what?" asked John. Dave didn't say anything, didn't even look directly at him. "Wait, Dave, seriously. What does she mean?"

Rose only watched Dave, a look of comprehension dawning on her face. Her voice hushed, she said, "You want to go to Los Angeles."

Dave did look at her, then shrugged. "So what?" he asked. "So I want to make my way over to good ol' sunny, slutty LA. Why's 'zat matter?"

There was a silence. John looked in between the three of them, still struggling to understand. Quietly, Rose said, "You could at least tell your brother."

"Tell him what?" demanded John. "I don't get it."

"It doesn't matter," sighed Dave. "It's stupid, it's really dumb."

"No," said John, a little bit wheedling now, "it's not dumb, you're never dumb. What do you mean LA?"

Dave shook his head, leaned his head back, let out another big, silent sigh. Then he said plainly, "I guess I wanna be an actor."

"That's a stupid reason to want to skip college," said Rose smartly, looking down at her book again. "Your brother thinks it's because of something incredibly personal and, you know, legitimate."

"Like what?"

"Like you love him so much that you want to follow what he did, maybe."

"And end up like him? No fuckin' thanks."

"Acting is not a totally risk-free career, Dave. It's going to be much harder to get a job without a degree."

"_God_," said Dave through his teeth, glaring at Rose. "I don't want to go to fucking college, what's so bad about that?"

"Nothing," said Jade. "Jake never went to college. I'm not gonna go. Why do we need college?"

"We weren't all born with an adamantine spoon in our mouths, Jade."

"Adamantine isn't even a real metal, Rose."

"In America," Rose began, "you have to work. And to work, you need a college degree."

"No, you don't," protested Dave. "My bro doesn't have one. He works. Or, I mean. He used to."

"To be successful, then," she corrected herself.

Dave felt an irrational flare of anger at her and had to shut his mouth tightly and look away. John looked in between Rose and Dave, and then at Jade, then back to Dave again.

"I think that's really cool," said John. "I was thinking about applying to this school in California and I guess if you're gonna be there then…that works out pretty good."

Dave looked around at John. He was smiling, something like excitement and nervousness in his eyes. The irritation in his belly cooled, and suddenly there was a lump in his throat he couldn't face.

"If you guys were in the same place," said Jade, "it's be much easier to all get together."

"Um, hello," interrupted Rose. "Except for me? Over on the other side of the country?"

"Jade's gonna be on the other side of the _globe_."

"Hey, hey, hey," said Jade, speaking over the others. "Let's not get mean. Okay?"

"I wasn't being mean," began Dave, but a look from Jade silenced him. He leaned back against the bed and asked, unflinchingly, "Do you think we're ever even gonna meet up again?"

They were all silent. "Of course," said John, looking at him. "I mean, like, I don't know. If we're both in California maybe we can live together or something."

"But all of us."

There was a short silence, and then Rose said, "Yes. Obviously when you two get married, Jade and I will both be bridesmaids, right?"

"Shut up," muttered Dave, flushing slightly, but John said, "Yeah! Heh, that's great. Washington just legalized gay marriage. Perfect timing, man."

"Woah, dude, I ain't even legal yet-"

"In the great state of New York, you are," said Rose, smirking slightly.

"Nobody's gettin' married just yet."

"Marriage is totally unnecessary, anyway," continued Rose, looking back at her book. "It's a ridiculous Judeo-Christian sham created for the purpose of dominating and inseminating women. As a social and political institution, it fundamentally fails to-"

"You're just saying that because your mom's marriage lasted like six months."

"The second one lasted six months," she pointed out. "Her first lasted just long enough for her to give birth to me."

"I don't think gay marriage is legal in California…" said John thoughtfully.

"It is in New York," said Rose with finality. "So I'm set."

"You _just_ said marriage was a sham."

"Traditional marriage, that is."

Dave shook his head, looked away. Jade looked between him and Jade and John for a moment, and then her hand reached out and tapped Dave on the forehead.

"What happened here?" she asked, brushing the side of his eyebrow, where a small pocked depression marked a scar. Dave's hand flitted up to meet her fingers, trailing across his eyebrow.

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "It's stupid."

"No, no," she said. "How many times do I have to tell you nothing of you is stupid? Tell me what this is."

He covered the mark with his hand and relented, muttering, "It used to be pierced."

John stared at him, his mouth hanging open slightly. "_What?_"

"I used to have a piercing right there," Dave continued, sighing, "but it healed over because I took it out for a couple of months. Like, my bro did it a while ago when we were jokin' around. It was pretty gross after a while so I just let it close up."

"Oh, wow," said Jade. "You're just pierced all over, aren't you!"

"What?" asked John. "No he's not."

"Yeah," said Dave, without looking to John. "Actually, like. Here." He touched his nose, tugged on it to show the side to them. A little dot there. "Got that two years ago. Tav wanted his septum pierced so I promised I'd go with him and I don't know, it just kind of happened."

"What's a septum?" asked John, sounding shocked.

Rose put her two fingers on the bottom of her nose and said, "Right here."

"Ew," said John. "Like a cow?"

Dave kind of laughed. "Guess so," he said. "Like a bull or something."

Jade reached out, took hold of his lip, shoving her finger somewhat invasively into his mouth. "And don't you have…?"

"No," said Dave, pulling her hand away from him. "I mean, yeah. I did that one by myself, but I never ended up even putting anything in it because it hurt like fuck."

"Why don't you just get your ears pierced?" asked Rose. "Wouldn't that just be easier?"

"Yeah," said Jade. "Your brother has those big holes in his ears, you could do that too."

"No," said Dave firmly. "Skewerin' your face with metal pins is one thing, but I ain't goin' anywhere _near_ what my bro did. He's got the plugs and these two bars like, right here," he pulled up his shirt slightly and motioned to his hips, "and his cock is fucking _spiked_-"

He fell dead silent, his face going pale. John's giggle turned into a laugh and he put his hand to his face, blushing. A smile flitted across Rose's face and she placed a slim finger on her lips, her shoulders silently shaking in laughter. Jade had that smile on her face and Dave could see right through it but she kept it up, he knew, for him.


	7. ACT TWO ACT FOUR

"So where is Rose applying, do you know?"

"Ivy League, almost entirely."

"Good for her. Hopefully you'll be close, then, yes?"

"That would be preferable. I like her very much."

"She is a _very_ nice girl. I am so glad she'll be here for a few weeks. When do you want to invite her over for dinner? Her mother is here too, right?"

"Yes, but I understand she's staying with a few very close friends right now. I wouldn't want to tear her away too soon."

"You're her very close friend as well, aren't you?"

"_Very_ close friend."

"Then they have no right to claim a monopoly on her. We'll fetch her now!"

"Mother, please, sit down."

A loud, muffled shout through the ceiling, "Will you just stay out of my _fucking_ room!" Then a little remark they couldn't hear, and then another yell. "_Sorry_."

Porrim Maryam raised a delicate teacup to her lips. Her daughter didn't say anything, then leaned in and asked, in a hushed voice, "How have they been? Really? I know it's been a hard few months for them. I wish I'd been here."

"No," said Porrim, shaking her head. "No, please, don't start wishing that, darling. I am so proud of you. You deserve to be at that school, and don't let anything or anyone back here hold you back."

Kanaya watched her mother anxiously, still listening to the voices arguing upstairs, then stood up, smoothing her skirt. "Let me go talk to them," she said. "They're probably hurt that I haven't had time to sit down and speak with them yet."

"I don't think they are," replied her mother, sipping her tea again. "The Vantas boys have thick skins, baby girl."

Kanaya didn't say anything, then quietly asked, "Aren't they Maryams now?"

Before the question was even out of her lips, her mother was shaking her head. "No," she said. "They've had too much taken away from them. Let them keep their name."

More shouts, unintelligible now, coming from upstairs. Kanaya nodded, said, "Thank you, Mama," then headed up to meet the boys.

The taller one, thinner and gaunter with spindly limbs and a deep, sunken face, was leaning against a door, his eyes on the ceiling. He glanced at Kanaya when she appeared and smiled a little bit, but it didn't reach his eyes. The vibrant red of his sweater brightened his complexion, reflected onto his dark skin, bathing his face in a sort of eerie crimson light.

"Hello, Kanaya," said Kankri, his arms folded pointedly, that smile on his face. "How are you?"

Kanaya didn't reply, glancing at the door Kankri was leaning against. From within, someone was still yelling and shouting; every third word or so, he would almost swear, but then stop and correct himself with some milder version of the original oath.

"WILL YOU JUST BACK THE FU- BACK THE HECK UP, YOU PIECE OF, PIECE OF _POO_, I'M SO FUCKING-JESUS, I'M SO FLIPPING DONE WITH YOU, JUST BACK OFF OKAY I-"

"What did you do?" asked Kanaya, narrowing her eyes at Kankri, slightly suspicious. Kankri hung his head, looking ashamed.

"I apologize," he said. "And I already apologized several times to him directly, but I brought up a sensitive subject and I'm afraid I may have triggered him, maybe."

Kanaya nodded dubiously. "What subject did you bring up?"

"I merely asked about his girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" echoed Kanaya. "Karkat has a girlfriend?"

"OH MY GOD," came Karkat's incensed voice. "I mean, _fuck_, oh my _gosh_, I don't even fucking know what I can even-"

"Karkat," called Kanaya, gently moving Kankri out of her way, knocking on the door. "Do you want to come out and talk?"

Silence from within. "No," called Karkat.

"What's this about a girlfriend? Congratulations, that's very cool."

"It's none of your fucking business, that's what it is."

"He wasn't trying to tease you about it, Karkat," sighed Kanaya, glancing at Kankri. "Neither am I. Now whether we discuss this new development or not, I would really appreciate it if you would come out now, because it's been four months since I spent any time with you and I've missed you very much."

More silence. And then, finally, the sounds of a chair being taken out from under the doorknob, and Karkat opened the door. He stood there, shorter than Kanaya, thicker than his brother around the neck and waist, his curly hair somewhere between dark brown and jet black.

"Sorry," he murmured, shooting a glare at his brother. "He was being a dick, as usual."

"Karkat, I didn't mean to be insensitive," said Kankri earnestly. "I specifically avoided asking about her and Vriska, for example, because-"

"Jesus _Christ_ Kankri can you shut up for like five-"

"Vriska?" asked Kanaya, looking at Karkat with wide, inquisitive eyes. "Are we talking about Terezi?"

"_No_. I don't know. Maybe."

Kanaya's face split into a wide smile and she took hold of Karkat, kissed him on both cheeks. "Congratulations, you. I always knew Terezi would be good for you. How are you two managing the distance?"

"_Kanaya_," reprimanded Kankri, sounding shocked. "That is a _sensitive subject_ for him! I think it would be best if you took a step back to reevaluate the nonchalant way you disregard his difficult feelings of having to deal with a deep young love separated by such a gaping divide-"

"Oh my _God_," said Karkat, glaring at them both now. "Can we take a break for like five seconds from my love life? Not like it fuckin' matters what happens, everything always goes to shit anyway."

"Don't talk like that," said Kanaya reassuringly, taking hold of Karkat's arm, tugging him downstairs. "Mama made tea, come on, let's talk."

Kankri opened his mouth and began to follow them and Karkat turned around sharply and said, "_You're_ not invited."

"You _are_ invited, Kankri," called Kanaya, pulling Karkat down the stairs. "And I would invite Terezi, but she is unfortunately not here at the moment."

"Kanaya, will you _please_ watch your language-"

Karkat pulled away from Kanaya as if to leap on his brother, but Kanaya just tugged him after her, a long-suffering expression on her face.

She brought the boys down to the den and sat them down on the couch at opposite ends, then offered them both some tea. Karkat took it but only held it in his hands, warming his fingers. Kankri graciously received his teacup and took a sip, then put it down expectantly.

There was a pause; Kanaya's mother was in the kitchen, and they could hear the sink going. Kanaya asked, "So how have you boys been? Has school been any better, Karkat?"

"Not really," he replied, as if he didn't care. "Still sucks just as much as last year. Slightly better because I'm not being hauled off to court every other weekend, but still not great."

"Karkat," said Kankri, glaring ferociously at his brother. "I would appreciate it if you could refrain from mentioning our time in court. We've already established that that whole experience was _very _anxiety-inducing for me and-"

"Will you shut up," said Karkat, ignoring his brother, "for like _five seconds_?"

Kankri watched Karkat, then nodded tightly and turned away, looking back at Kanaya.

"Anyway," said Karkat. "Things are okay."

"Do you still hang out with John a lot?"

"Are you kidding? He's been completely indoctrinated into Vriska's little coven. It's disgusting but also a little bit impressive. It's like she's this queen-bitch with some kind of mind control over the rest of her little hive workers."

Kankri commented, "That was a mixed metaphor."

Karkat said, "I'll kill you. I will attack you, and I will kill you."

"_Boys_."

"I'd like it to be noted that I was just reprimanded for absolutely no justified cause," said Kankri obnoxiously, and Kanaya just nodded without looking at him, her lips pressed into a thin line.

"How's Sollux?"

"He's okay," Karkat shrugged. "He has a job now so we don't hang out as much."

"How's his dad?"

"Been, like, in and out of the hospital, as usual."

"Do they know what's going on yet?"

Karkat shook his head.

Kanaya asked, "Is Mituna still in school?"

"No," replied Karkat. "They switched him over to that special school in Buckley."

Kanaya looked at him. "Did they move?"

"No."

"Buckley is a forty minute drive."

"Sollux drives him."

"Since when can Sollux drive?"

"He got his license."

"This year?"

"September."

Kanaya sat back, looking a little shocked. "The things you miss while you're away," she murmured.

"How's school for you, Kanaya?" asked Kankri, leaning in. "I apologize, Karkat only thinks about himself, I don't think it even occurred to him to ask about you."

"I was going to ask!" said Karkat angrily, but Kanaya reached out and put a gentle hand on his knee, and he fell silent, fuming.

"I've been fine," she told them kindly. "I've missed home very much, but I've liked school a lot as well."

Kankri asked, "What's it like there?"

"It's…" Kanaya paused, searching for the words, "rich."

Kankri gave a bitter little grin.

"But I like it," she said. "It suits me well. The girls are all very nice."

"And the boys?"

"Are awful," she said. "There's this one…" she put a hand to her face, rubbing her temples. "Do you remember in October, I think it was, when the school called my mother?"

"No," said Kankri, looking concerned, leaning in. "What happened?"

Karkat chuckled. "I remember that," he said. "I heard you got in trouble for some ridiculous shit."

"I hit a boy," sighed Kanaya.

"You _hit_ a boy?" echoed Kankri disbelievingly. "Kanaya," he added, sounding disappointed.

"He was being incredibly disrespectful and unnecessarily cruel."

Karkat glanced at his brother. "Just your kind of guy, right?"

Kankri ignored him and pressed, "Did he disrespect _you_? What did he do?"

"He was very rude to me," she said, irritation entering his voice. "Not to mention the way he treated poor Feferi."

The second the name came from her mouth, her eyes widened slightly and she glanced nervously at the boys, then continued, "But anyway, that isn't important, mostly I've been very concerned in my work and it's been very-"

"Feferi," repeated Kankri, frowning slightly. "I know that name."

"No," said Kanaya. "You don't. I apologize, there's no way you could-"

"_Peixes?_"

She looked to Karkat, her mouth hanging slightly open. "Well-"

"You're friends," said Karkat slowly, "with a _Peixes?_"

"It doesn't matter," she said, dismissing the fact completely. "She's a very nice girl. She's never even been out here, and she doesn't speak very much English but she is still a _very_ nice girl, and she really hardly knows her mother so-"

"_Mother?_" asked Karkat, and Kankri leaned back on the couch, taking slow, deep breaths, fanning himself. "You're friends with the bitch's daughter?"

"Do not call her that," said Kanaya quietly. "You have no right to call her that."

"I think I do," said Karkat, staring at her. "She sent my dad to fucking prison, I think-"

"Okay," said Kankri breathlessly, leaning forward again, "I'm going to need this conversation to end now. I'm feeling very triggered."

"You're such a fucking five-year-old, Kankri, will you just _deal_ already-"

"It's a _sensitive _topic for me, Karkat, I thought by this time you might have some respect for others' feelings, but I suppose not, I suppose you feel just fine acting as the _oppressor_-"

"_What_ fucking oppressor? What the fuck are you _talking _about?"

"Boys!" called Kanaya. "Calm down. Karkat, sit down. Kankri, breathe, slow breaths."

Kankri nodded, refusing to look at his brother, and closed his eyes, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. Karkat only sat back down glumly, glaring at nothing and everything.

"Besides," said Kanaya curtly, "I've hardly talked to her, really. I only defended her against this idiotic boy, that's all. I do have more than one friend, you know."

"Right," muttered Karkat, almost rolling his eyes.

Kankri slowed his breathing, then opened one eye. "What's this I've heard about…Rose, is it?"

Kanaya blinked at him. "What have you heard about Rose?" she asked.

"Something about you and her being…"

Kankri paused then glanced into the kitchen, where they could still hear Kanaya's mother working. Kanaya bowed her head slightly. "She knows," she said, and then she continued, "Rose and I are beginning to have what one could call something resembling a relationship, I suppose. I like her very much. Did you know she actually came back with me?"

"Yeah," said Karkat suddenly. "Yeah, I did know that. She's at John's house, isn't she?"

"Yes," said Kanaya. "How did you know?"

"Jade's coming too," he said, shrugging. "And, uh. The dumbass from Texas. Terezi's friend."

"Dave," said Kanaya, nodding. "He and Rose are very close, yes. He seems like a very nice boy, I hope he's all right."

"Is something wrong with him?" asked Kankri, looking suddenly intrigued.

"The poor boy was practically raised by his older brother," she told them, lowering her voice slightly. "Their parents died when he was young. His brother is very much a lost soul, the impression Rose gave me was of a child that never really learned to grow up. They've been in legal trouble for the past few months as well."

"Why?" asked Karkat, the serious expression on his face mirroring his brother's. "What happened?"

"Nothing so extreme," she said, then clarified, "Merely some problems with social services, as I understand."

"That would make sense," said Karkat. "They're fucking stupid as shit."

"Karkat," said Kankri, exasperated. "They are _trying their best_. You need to stop being so judgmental, you know, I am pretty sure statements like that are why you don't have very many friends, you just offend people without even trying-"

The phone rang. Karkat leapt up, calling, "I'll get it," and then went to the phone, picked it up. "Hello? Maryam residence?" A pause. "Oh, yeah, she's here. Yeah, that's me. Oh, really? Right, hi. Tell her hi. Yeah. Sometime. I don't know. Tell her to let me know. Okay. Yeah, here she is." He held the phone out to Kanaya. "It's Rose."

Kanaya scurried over to him and took the phone, eagerly pressing it to her ear. "Hello, yes, Rose, are you there? I mean – yes. Rose?"

A grin split across her face and she wandered away from the two of them, talking to the girl on the other end, a sort of tension hanging in her voice.

After a moment, Porrim's voice came from the kitchen. "Who was that?" she called.

"Rose," answered Karkat. "Kanaya's talking to her."

The smell of spiced, aromatic food wafted through the door as Porrim leaned into the living room, wiping her hands on a rag. "So you two have a minute? Good, I almost forgot."

Porrim paused, and Karkat took that as his cue to sit down again, which he did, dutifully.

She scrutinized the boys carefully, then looked down at her hands. "Would you like to go see your father next Monday?"

Neither of them said anything. Then Kankri said, "We only see him on Sundays."

"Yes," said Porrim, "well, Monday is a special holiday, so they're allowing us to bend the rules a little."

"Christmas Eve?" asked Karkat. "They're letting us go see Dad on Christmas Eve?"

"Yes."

Karkat said, "You don't even celebrate Christmas."

"You do," replied Porrim, "don't you?"

"Not since our father's particularly fanatic religious beliefs spelled the end of our family, no," said Karkat, and Kankri immediately said his brother's name emphatically, a reprimand.

"I'm sure it would mean a lot to him."

There was a short silence. Karkat asked, "Could we bring him a present?"

Porrim looked down at her hands, still wiping them with that little rag, and then up at Karkat stoically. "I'll see what I can do," she promised, lowering her head slightly.

Another silence, and then Kankri stood up and left, heading back upstairs, no doubt to his room. Karkat sat there and said nothing, feeling pale and small.

The sound of the doorbell ringing downstairs. John didn't get up, but just as he recovered from laughing and opened his mouth to say something, there was a knock at the door of his room and his father opened the door; "John," he said, "you have a visitor."

John raised an eyebrow and got off the bed. "Hold on," he said. "I'll be right back."

"Is it Karkat?" asked Jade excitedly. "I told him I was here, maybe he came by! Come on, come on, come on!"

She followed John out; Dave and Rose didn't do anything for a moment, and then Dave stood up, sighing. "These kids," he said. "Swear to fucking God."

Rose smiled and met his gaze with those liquid, purple eyes (he still felt a little betrayed when he looked into them, although he knew how stupid he was being) and then they left the room as well. Rose gently padded down the stairs and joined Jade and John before the front door, where they were speaking to someone who wasn't Karkat.

Dave stopped on the stairs and stood there, completely still, something dropping to the pit of his stomach when he saw her. Fury bubbled into his chest, mixed with something tense and frightening that shot into his blood, made him shake.

She looked up at him, lips peeled back in a smile, baring her teeth, the eye that wasn't obscured by the blacked-out lens of her glasses locking onto his.

"Dave," she said, raising her voice. "It's been way too long."

He stared at her, pale, saying nothing.

"How's your brother?" she asked, sincerity in her voice.

He didn't move, and then he did, he finished the stairs and went straight up to her and it was actually only Jade that stepped forward and put a hand around his arm, tightly, a vice-like grip meant to silently tell him to calm down, remind him that this wasn't the place, not the time, not when John was looking at them both like that-

Jade's touch brought him back and he flinched away from Vriska, stopping himself, taking a few steps back. He reached out and took Jade's arm as well, his fingers digging into her skin. She made no sound.

"Eye still hasn't got better yet, Serket?" he asked, his voice far too loud.

"I could show you," she said. "But the doctors say I shouldn't expose it to the open air too much. Not to mention all the _dirt_ around here."

She smiled at him.

"You wanna see some dirt?" he asked, almost laughing. "Let's go outside. I'll show you some goddamn dirt. I'll stuff your face so far underground you'll-"

Rose's harsh voice, her thin, gentle fingers around his wrist. "_Dave_-"

"_Don't touch me_," he yelped, whipping his hand away from her fingers as if they were fire, and she looked at Jade, panic in her eyes, and then Dave turned and took off back up the stairs, his feet pounding on each step, and he stopped a step or two before the landing, just out of sight of the others.

A short silence, then John said, "Gosh, I'm really sorry about him, he's still really cut up about some old stuff. Like you said, it was a long time ago, we all do stupid stuff when we're littler, right?"

"Of course."

"I mean, we're obviously all a lot more grown up now. Sorry, I guess it's just hard for him to see that right now."

"Probably. Thanks, John. That makes me feel better."

"No problem."

Another pause. "Well, it was nice meeting you both. I'd love to talk more sometime, but I think it's probably better if I go right now. Sorry about that! I wasn't looking to upset anyone, just thought I'd drop by for some fun!"

"Sorry," repeated John, sounding genuinely remorseful. "Sorry, sorry, sorry. He's really great usually."

"Oh, yeah, I know. We used to hang out. He used to be a really fun guy, super cool."

"He still is! Well, mostly."

Rose's voice, hushed: "John, you could be a little more sympathetic-"

"What? I'm being sympathetic. He's sensitive, that's okay."

"I totally get it. That's fine! I'll just be on my merry way, then. Good luck over here! Hope everything works out great, and you two are all happy and kissy and all that. Oh and if his brother comes back, will you let him know that my mom'd love to see him? Awesome. Thanks so much, John!"

"Yup! No problem, Vriska! See you later sometime!"

Dave closed his eyes and pressed his hot forehead against the cool wall. Sounds like footsteps, and then, "Dave, son? Are you all right?"

He looked up; John's dad stood there, looking down at him, his brow knit in concern, holding a mug of something warm in one hand. "Um," began Dave. "Yeah. Yes, thanks, thank you. I'm okay."

"Are you feeling all right? I tell ya, you kids haven't been getting enough sleep at all. You should try to hit the hay earlier tonight, whaddaya say? I can make you some nice tea that might help."

The faint sounds of a car outside the house, and then a door slamming and John's dad glanced out the window behind him and said, "Oh, would you look at that, looks like your brother's finally back."

He looked back at the stairs but Dave was already gone, barreling past Vriska, knocking her away from the front door, slamming it closed behind him, running out to his brother and taking hold of him tightly, his voice shaking and panicky: "Just, look at me, hold on, get back into the car, okay, just get back in and talk to me for like five seconds, trust me, just for like a minute, that's all, just get back into the car and-" he glanced over the car, where Roxy was just getting out of the driver's seat, and he desperately said, "Take him out again, why are you back so soon? Come on-"

"Dave," she said, puzzled, "what for? What's going on?"

His brother was watching Roxy too, holding Dave's arms just as tightly as Dave held on to him, maybe a little more steadily, confusion on his face, mixed with the sort of cautious, stricken anxiety that Dave didn't notice but broke Roxy's heart.

She looked past the boys and her expression hardly changed but she straightened up and caught his gaze and said, "Dirk, get back in the car."

"What?" he asked, bewildered. "Why-"

He turned around and saw the girl standing there and fell silent.

"Dirk," repeated Roxy, urgency in her voice. "Get back in the car."

He glanced back at her. "No," he said.

"Don't," begged Dave, holding onto him tightly, his grip digging into his brother's skin. "Don't even look at her."

"What the fuck do you think I'm _gonna_ do, you fucking-"

"Hello, Dirk!" called Vriska, heading down from John's front door. Instead of walking towards them, however, she went straight to the expensive car pulled halfway up onto the driveway. "So nice to see you again! You should come around sometime, Mommy's just _dying_ to try out some of her new tricks-"

"You know damn well what your mother can do with her goddamn toys," he replied, raising his voice, but not yelling at her. "Tell her that for me, a'ight?"

"Sure thing! You know, I must admit, I really miss having you around, Mister Strider! You were tons of fun, when you weren't, you know, threatening to kill us all!" She laughed at him.

Dave felt his brother straining against him a little, and he held him tighter. "Don't," he repeated again, almost a whisper. Nothing; then, finally, Dirk stopped pushing.

"Go home, Vriska," said Dirk.

"Promise you won't follow me this time?"

"Your mom should'na had to send you to do the bitchy work for her. That's not fair to anyone."

"You're a good guy, Dirk," sighed Vriska, unlocking her car, opening the driver's side. Sliding inside, she added, "I just wish you weren't so fucking crazy," and then the engine began to rumble and the car shot out of the driveway, down the street, away.

There was silence. Dave finally let go of his brother, but Roxy still looked like she was holding her breath until Dirk shook his head a little bit. "What the fuck?" he asked angrily, looking around at the two of them.

"I didn't know she'd be here," said Dave, the words falling from his mouth of their own accord. "I totally forgot her family was even here at all, it's my fault, I'm so-"

"What the fuck did you think I'd do?" he interrupted, upset but not in the way Dave expected him to be. "She's a fucking kid!"

Roxy watched him, her mouth hanging slightly open. She glanced at Dave, then said, "I apologize, Dirk, I suppose I jumped to assumptions pretty quickly there-"

"What the fuck ever, Rox," he continued, clearly hurt now. "I wouldn't hurt a fucking _kid_."

There was a moment of deep tension, and Dave took a step back and his brother swept away into the house, pausing just long enough to greet John's dad.

Dave and Roxy looked at each other, then, leaning over the top of the car, she whispered, "_Dammit_, Dave, she _lives _here! I completely fucking forgot! Holy _shit_, Dave, oh my God, he's _fucked_, I-"

"_Shhh!_ Don't give him any ideas. You make sure this thing with Jake happens and he'll be fine. He won't even think about her anymore. That's your job, okay?"

"_Dave_," she hissed. "I'm sorry, that's not gonna work!"

"_What?_"

"There's this thing – I don't know, okay, I just don't see any way the two of them are going to-"

"Everything okay?" came another voice; John's father, strolling out to the car from the house. Dave glanced around, and Roxy's expression instantly changed entirely.

"Just fine," she replied, smiling at him. "In fact, I…"

She suddenly stopped, peering at Mr. Egbert hard in the face.

And then she said, her faux-cheerfulness fading away, "Dave, would you excuse us?"

He looked at her. "Roxy…"

"Come on," she said, without meeting his gaze. "Go inside."

"If you-"

"Dave, _now_."

She said it in that tone of voice Dave wasn't used to hearing, that tone that made him feel like he was in kindergarten again, or something, because it felt so old and ancient and he knew he'd heard it before but he couldn't quite pinpoint it exactly. His brother had never spoken to him like that, not exactly. Always softer or harsher, always with less authority or more force, without that note of unquestionable finality. He guessed that was how parents were supposed to sound.

He left Roxy with John's dad and returned to the house. John, Jade and Rose were all waiting for him just inside the door. They said nothing as Dave entered.

He stopped, looked at the three of them, in turn, in the face. He began, "If you got somethin' to say-"

"What did she mean?" asked Rose, a look of something uncomfortable and foreign in her eyes.

Dave looked at her. "What?"

"When he's not threatening to kill them?" she asked, her breath shallow and voice quiet. "Promise not to follow her home?"

"Nothing," said Dave, shaking his head. "Don't even…just forget about it."

"That's _super_ creepy, Dave," said John, more matter-of-factly than Rose. "And is it just me, or would it be nice if we could get just a _tiny _idea of what's going on here? This obviously goes deeper than what Vriska may or may not have been involved in with your friend Tavros, I think, and-"

"May or may not?" asked Dave. "What the fuck do you mean _may or may not_?"

"I'm just saying," said John fairly, "you're really good friends with Tavros, so maybe that might, you know, maybe you're just a little too close to this to make a good judgment call."

Dave stared at John, his hands balled into fists, his fingernails digging into his palms. The brief, sharp pain cleared his senses; he shook his head and brushed straight past the three of them, going up the stairs once again. Jade didn't spare a glance for John or Rose but followed him, calling his name.

Dave ignored her, heading straight for the room he was sharing with his brother. He quickly closed the door behind him, then turned around. Dirk was on his knees, digging through a bag, but he immediately stopped when Dave entered, glancing around surreptitiously, almost guiltily. He could hear Jade outside. "Dave," she said, muffled through the door. "Do you want to talk?"

"No," said Dave, his eyes never leaving his brother.

"I really think it would be good if you did."

"Jade, can I have a second?"

"I'm here for you."

"I know that. Can I talk to my bro alone, please?"

She didn't reply at once, then said, "Of course. Of course, of course, of course, okay, I'll talk to John and Rose, sorry."

"Thanks, Jade."

He heard her footsteps moving away from the door, down the stairs.

Still, nothing. Then, casually, Dave asked, "What are you looking for?"

"Nothing," replied Dirk, too quickly.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You sure, man?"

Dirk hesitated, then let out a silent sigh. "Okay," he said, frustration entering his voice, "you caught me, I'm lookin' for my fuckin' meds. Thought I'd only need one pill today."

"Your meds?"

"Fuck, yes, do I have to fucking say it again?"

"Those meds?"

He nodded towards the little stand by Dirk's bed, where the prescription bottle sat, untouched since that morning. Dirk glowered at his brother, then grabbed the bottle and twisted the cap open, poured a few into his palm and threw them into his mouth.

"Stop it," said Dave, annoyed at the simple action.

Dirk swallowed. "Why?"

"I watched you take two this morning."

"Obviously twice that hasn't been killin' me so far."

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, well, you wish."

Dave took a few steps forward and punched his brother, but softly, in the mouth. "Don't talk to me like that," he said, burning.

Dirk put a hand up to his mouth, tenderly touching the sides of his lips. Dave realized his brother's hands were shaking.

"Look," said Dave abruptly. "I know that was hard, to see her, and what she said to you-"

"Dave, for Chrissakes's, she's a _kid_, I don't give a damn about-"

"I know you way better than that."

Silence. Dirk didn't meet his eye. "What the fuck do you want me to say?" he murmured. "That I'm panicking? I'm not. That I'm gonna go chase her down and gut them all, the whole damn family? I won't. I promise. I got no more right to do that than she had right to-"

"That's not true."

"I know it is."

"I'm not saying go after her, but-"

Dirk groaned. "I should'na fuckin' come."

"Yeah," said Dave breathlessly, "well, way too fuckin' late for that one, huh?"

There was a sudden, frozen silence. A slimy dread dropped in Dave's stomach and he could see it reflected in the horror in his brother's eyes.

He began, "I meant…"

Dirk turned away.

"Bro, I just…"

"Do you wanna leave me alone, Dave?"

"Not really."

"Just go back to your friends."

Dave didn't know what to say, but he was nervous and needed to say something. "Did something happen with Jake?" he asked, the words coming out before he could think about them. "Roxy made it sound like-"

"Nothin's gonna _happen_ with Jake," said Dirk, his voice getting tighter. "And it fuckin' sucks that you think that _somethin'_ would just fuckin' make me better, just like that."

"I'm trying to look _out_ for you-"

"How many times do I hafta tell you I don't _need _that?"

Dave stared at him, his jaw clenched, Dirk's lighter eyes burning into his.

"I mean," continued Dirk, and he almost made himself laugh a little bit, "case in point, everyone fuckin' remembers the _last _time _something _like that made me better, huh?"

"Except that it's _totally _different? Because he's a good guy and she was a heinous evil sadistic bitch?"

"I _know_ you're too young for this and youknow how damn sorry I am for that to begin with, but dammit, Dave, I can't let you keep thinkin' this is all on her-"

"You're kidding. This _is _her, bro, this is _all_ her, all what she did to you-"

Dirk stopped talking, put a hand over his mouth, slowly dragged it down his stubbly chin. "Dave-" he began, his voice cracking.

"No," said Dave, shaking his head, backing away. "I don't wanna hear this. I know what she did to you. There ain't _no _way you can tell me that was your-"

"Dave, hold on, I didn't-"

The door closed behind Dave and Dirk was in the room alone.


	8. ACT TWO INTERMISSION

_Door slams behind him and a backpack slips off his shoulders, dropping onto the hard floor with a sort of muffled thump. Saunters into the kitchen, opens the refrigerator, searching for food, as always. He calls his brother's name and gets no reply. At Mindy's, maybe. Probably. Might be at a motel somewhere because the woman's got two daughters at home and he knows they can't stand listening to their mother fuck as much as he can't stand listening to his brother. No, not a motel. She has too much money for that. Probably paid for the Four Seasons, two nights of dinner in bed, sweaty, thrusting fucking on sheets smeared with caviar and semen. He shudders; he laughs; he palms himself a little through his jeans because it's been three long days without talking to John, without his shining face and the sight of his pale, smooth skin on his computer screen and fuck, his mouth waters a little bit as he thinks about getting to his room and getting online, seeing John with that little blush in his cheeks, and he takes a second because he knows he's alone to dip his hands beneath the waist of his pants and touch himself, just enough to get him going, to make his whole body go warm and flushed. It's February so it's been cooler, and he's all too aware of his thin sweater hanging on his shoulders, trapping the heat against his skin._

_ A glass of water, filled from the tap. Everyone says that Houston tapwater isn't potable but it's like his brother always says: "Are you fucking kidding me?" He takes a sip and heads to his room._

_ There's this stench that comes blasting down the hall, permeating under the door of his brother's room, so foul he can almost see it in hanging in the air in great clumps. Something like shit or decomposing food would'a been fine, Dave could clear that out and never mention it to his bro, but this smells strange, heady and intoxicating, mixed with sweat and some nauseating leathery smell, and holy shit, maybe Bro and Mindy were here and they forgot to take out the trash after their crazy fucking S&M love-dungeon shenanigans, and Dave suddenly gets excited because what if there's this fucking insane sex swing set up, and candle wax fucking everywhere and ball gags and that riding crop he just _knows_ she's used on him…_

_ So he reaches out and turns the doorknob and the full must of the room hits him like a meteor, knocking the breath completely out of him, and he peers inside and the windows must be covered with something new because they never had black-out curtains before, and Dave can't even find the fucking light switch so he takes off his shades and steps in and his hand wanders up the wall until he flips on the light, and things are fucking _ruined_ and not in the regular way that his bro likes to keep them, and there's candles burned down to the wick and white powder spilled across the little desk in a little line, and fucking holy shit, that extra-sweet smell filling up the room, he recognizes it now, stained onto a heap of limbs on the bed, bound and unmoving._

_ Dave drops everything and takes a step forward but instead of saying his brother's name, vomit comes from his mouth and he trips, falling at his knees, lights flashing before his eyes, pale and horrified and he doesn't move and he thinks he should leave and call Latula because there's nothing he can do._

_ Movement up on the bed. Tired, dry breathing. Wheezing of pipes, wind through chimneys, anything and everything. Mumbling, noises that should have been words but he can't make a sound, not with his mouth full like that._

_ It all gets too PTSD-inducing way too fucking quick, and Dave has to leave and close the door and go, crying, to the bathroom, where he throws up again in the toilet, and then sits by the shower and takes great gulps of air. He then remembers his brother's face in the mirror as he stood in front of the sink, pushing up his sleeves, and he has to leave the bathroom too._

_ He goes back to the kitchen. He doesn't move. He fills a new glass with water and there's not a knife in the drawer because they got rid of those last time and so he finds a pair of dull scissors and takes a wad of paper towels and wets them and, leaving a splattered trail of droplets on the floor, he goes back into his brother's room and leaves the door open and first, his whole body trembling, he puts the water on the little desk by the bed, gets onto the bed on his knees and presses the cold paper towels to his brother's hot, dirty forehead and tries not to breathe._


	9. ACT TWO ACT FIVE

"Thso, anyway, the idea was really esthenthcially to take the bathse code from the original virusth and reprogram it into sthomething that would really fuck up everybody'sth hard drive, heh."

Rose nodded intently, her eyes slightly narrowed in thought, a fuzzy purple hat warming her head. "That's funny," she said, with no humor, "but if you were really looking to do some real damage, I imagine you'd want it to be more than just corrupting a few files, right?"

The boy blinked, then glanced away and glanced back and began to mutter, "Well, thiths really only a firstht draft, but I did have sthome plansth…"

"Woah, Rose," said John, as Rose began explaining what Sollux really should be doing. "I had no idea you were so good with this computer stuff."

She shrugged. "My mom taught me," she said simply, before she launched back into her explanation. On the other side of John, Karkat rolled his eyes, leaned back on the bench to stare at the rainy sky.

"This is such bullshit," he muttered darkly.

"Hey," said John, "you don't have to be so pessimistic all the time. Yeesh."

"He can't help it," said Kanaya charmingly, leaning forward. "Runs in his family."

"Shut up. Where the fuck did Jade go?"

"With Dave," replied John, looking up and around. "Probably to, like, go make out in the bushes or something. Like the super-cool kids they are."

John distinctly heard Rose pause, as if she had heard his words. He didn't look at her. "Who the fuck is this Dave kid?" asked Karkat testily. "Three of you plus Terezi are fucking obsessed with him and he just looks like some hick jerk to me. What a fucking creep-ass."

"He's not creepy," said John emphatically. "He's just…quiet."

"The fuck does that even mean? Kanaya, can we just go home?"

"No," said Kanaya firmly. "I am having a lovely time. Aren't you having a lovely time, John?"

"Yeah," he said. "I'd probably feel better if it weren't so gray, though."

"I enjoy the snow, though. It feels like home."

Karkat grumbled something they all ignored, and John continued, "Yeah, I guess that's true. Hey, Kanaya, that reminds me, is it true that your mom's going to be teaching again this year?"

"No," replied Kanaya, shaking her head. "She'll still be running the nursery, but…"

Karkat tuned them out, bored and annoyed. He peered through the dull mist of the park which should have been burned off by now but who is he fucking kidding, there is a thin, thin layer of snow on the ground and it's gonna stay there for the next month or so. He glanced at the other four, stood up and murmured, "I'm going for a walk," and Kanaya warned him not to go too far away and he kind of yelled at her and then turned away and left, grinding his teeth together. He hated that, when she treated him like that. It was okay when her mom did it because that's her fucking job but Kanaya didn't get to treat him like that. Bullshit. Total fucking bullshit.

He went past the slides and monkeybars. He remembered playing on them when he was littler, with his brother and father. Kankri hadn't always been so bad. Things started going downhill around high school, right around the accident with Sollux's brother. Nothing was the same after that, especially not how their father was always one step away from a complete psychotic break from reality. Karkat could still remember every moment of the day his father sat him down, held him tightly, promised he loved him very much but some duties were more important than loving someone. He could still remember Kankri's words, proud but tinged with just that hint of bitterness, jealousy, as he leaned against the doorframe, watched their father hold Karkat and then leave, feeling bare and profane. "_Do what's right, Dad_."

He crossed the playground and on the other side he saw the swingsets, which must have been what he was unconsciously aiming for. He hesitated, pausing by a slide, surreptitiously glancing around to look at the two kids sitting there, Dave on a swing, clutching his face in his hands, Jade sitting on the cold, slightly icy blacktop, holding his knees, her face lying in his lap. For a second Karkat thought they were maybe doing something dirty, but then he squinted a little bit and he saw her look up at him, put her hand up to his cheek. She said something. He took his hands away from his face. She got on her knees and pulled down the hood of the sweater he wore and kissed him on the cheek.

Karkat didn't say anything but he couldn't move because he didn't want to face those fucking asshats but he didn't want to go back to John and Kanaya and Sollux and those other stupid fucks. God. He didn't move for a minute and then he leaned against the slide, closing his eyes, asking himself what the mother-loving _fuck_ he was doing here, and then there was a hand on his arm and he almost screamed but-

"Come on, KK!" said Jade excitedly, peering at him with those bright green eyes. "What are you doing lurking back here, oh my God, so weird. Come on, come on, join us. You and Dave can bond, oh my gosh!"

She pulled him over to the swings, where Dave was sitting, his eyes obscured by shades, as usual (Karkat made a mental note to ask Jade later how did that kid fucking _see at all_), but an amused little smile on his face.

"Well, hey, little buddy," said Dave, already patronizing enough that Karkat wanted to smash his smug fucking face in, and Jade could tell and she said Dave's name harshly, a warning. "What?" asked Dave, and Jade ignored him.

"Sit down," she said to Karkat, pointing at the swing next to Dave. "Dave, get up."

"I ain't giving up my-"

"You can sit on my lap, come on."

"Jade."

"Would you like me to sit on your lap? I will crush you. Get up, Dave."

Reluctantly, he stood up, Jade sat down, and once that part was over he got this stupid little smirk on his face and sat sideways across Jade. She wrapped an arm around him to keep him steady and held the side of the swing with her other hand. He wiggled his ass slightly, grinding down on her lap, and she giggled and said his name again and he laughed and they weren't fucking, were they? Karkat wasn't sure. He was pretty sure Dave was with John but Karkat just watched in puzzled disgust as Jade mock-thrust her hips up, and Dave let out a pretend moan and Jade tittered, "Don't be rude, don't be rude, Dave, be nice."

"I'm bein' nice," he said, his head thrown back, exposing his throat, a little spot paler than the rest of his skin. Squirming more, he faux-moaned "So _fucking_ nice."

"Sorry," said Jade apologetically, glancing at Karkat, grinning, and pushing up her glasses. "I tend to do this to boys. I just can't help it."

"Real fucking funny, too."

"Oh, Karkat, get a sense of humor. Let's face it, I'm hilarious."

"I feel kind of dirty. Does anyone else feel kind of dirty? Do you two need to like fucking wash your hands or something-"

"There was no inapro-pro touching, babydoll," said Dave, still smirking. "At least not with the fingers, anyhow. Don't worry your pwetty li'l face, kid."

"Do you want to not talk to me like that, asshole?"

"Talk to you like what?"

Jade stood up slightly, scooping Dave off her lap, dumping him onto the cold blacktop. "Don't be a douche," she said cheerfully, "and you can get back up."

"Ugh, God," said Dave, rolling helplessly in the light, melted snow. "You better let me touch the boob for this."

"You're already in a relationship, Dave."

"John and I have this thing called _the boob clause_, in which we clarified that we _never _turn down boobs."

Jade shook her head sadly, swung back slightly, and kicked Dave in the stomach. He laugh-gasped. "What the fuck?" asked Karkat, sounding mildly interested. "You two are fucking weird."

"Oh, right," said Jade, swinging over to grab hold of Karkat's wrist, then his hand. "Like you and Terezi aren't the same way, right, ya li'l fuckass?"

"I hate you," said Karkat flatly, but at Jade's comment, Dave sat up, his brow knitted in interest, looking up at Karkat.

"You're Terezi's boyfriend," he said.

Karkat looked at him, nodded. "Yeah," he said, defensively. "What about it, fucktard?"

There was a silence. Dave thought about this for a while, leaned forward to sit up right, dusted some snow and dirt off of his sleeves. "She's really cool," he said suddenly. "I mean I'm sure you know that because, like, dating and all, but like, yeah. We been good friends for a while. You know, families are close 'n' shit. The Pyropes been good to us. She likes you."

"Yeah," said Karkat, expectantly. "I would fucking hope so, all things considered."

"Do you guys talk a lot?" asked Jade, and Karkat shrugged.

"Sometimes," he said. "Most of the time. Every day, I guess. We text and stuff."

"Me too," said Dave, and Jade and Karkat looked at him and then he specified, "Yeah, no, I mean, with John, that is. Like texting and talking and stuff all the fuckin' time. Twenty-four-fucking-seven. Ball and fucking chain, right man?" Dave let out a loud, unnatural laugh. Karkat didn't reciprocate. Dave's grin faded but a shadow still stayed, and he wiped a slightly damp, freezing cold hand through his hair and he asked, "She talk about me a lot?"

"About you?" repeated Karkat, frown lines already all but carved into his face. "No."

"Aw, you're kidding. She's gotta tell you about me a little. I'm like her entire life back home." That wasn't true, but he liked Karkat thinking Dave knew something about Terezi that he didn't.

Karkat got a little flushed and said, irritated, "We have a lot to talk about back here, okay! Lots of shit goes down here all the time, we talk about that shit."

"What kind of shit?" asked Jade, but Dave derailed that with another question: "Well, don't you ever talk about her? Jesus, what a selfish asshole."

Karkat almost lunged at him, but Jade held onto his arm tightly. He ground his teeth again then closed and reopened his eyes and said, "Yeah, sure, we talk about life in fucking Hicksville, Texas all the fucking time."

"Hicksville? Fuck you, _this_ is Hicksville, I live in New York Fucking City compared to this."

"_Rose_ lives in New York City, and there's no Fucking in it at all and you guys both need to lower your voices like right now! No angry talk here!"

"Shut the fuck up, Jade-"

"Don't you fucking talk to her like that, you piece of-"

"_BOYS!_"

The gentle hum of conversation on the other side of the jungle gym sets went dead silence. Jade cleared her throat and adjusted her glasses.

"We can talk about opinions," she said fairly. "But we will do it _respectfully_. And Karkat, I would really like it if you would _not _say things like 'shut the fuck up' to anyone who's not being egregiously offensive, and Dave, just, think over what you just said for a second and then feel bad about it. Are we clear?"

Dave and Karkat glared at each other, then Dave murmured, "Yes, ma'am," and Karkat muttered something unintelligible.

"So," began Jade again, "was there something you wanted to ask Karkat about, Dave?"

Dave didn't reply for a second, then Jade nudged him with her foot and gave him a look and he knew he was being petty, so he sighed and asked, "Does she ever fuckin' mention me, huh? I-dee-fucking-kay why, I just wanna know. Why's that such a fucking big deal, Christ."

Karkat eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then said, "No. She doesn't talk about you all that often. You're still in high school, she's in college, she's got more important shit."

"You're in high school, what makes you such hot shit?"

"I don't know, probably my perky tits and bubbly personality."

Dave didn't laugh, although he considered it. "What does she say about Houston?" he asked.

"Shit like…" Karkat stared at him, his eyes hard and unfriendly and then inspiration struck and he said, "she's a part of this fucking badass cool club. A bunch of kids with various body parts cut off, blind or some shit, fucking awesome."

Dave gaped at him, a little bit unable to believe his ears. "The Students with Disabilities Union? Fuck, dumbass, that's not a badass cool club, that's a support group where she comes back to school to hold hands with all those kids who can't walk or talk or hear or whatever the fuck their problem is. It's not fucking awesome actually, it's really fucking sad, and you know what, I have a friend in that club, someone that's not Terezi, I mean, and I think he would take a lot of fucking offense to-"

"What, getting called awesome and badass?" asked Jade, interrupting him. "Dave, come on, be serious! Tavros would love that! Tavros would love that, Karkat."

"Whatever," said Dave, irrationally bothered by this. "Whatever, it's just not a fucking joke, okay? Calm the fuck down. You fucking know I'll be talking to Terezi about this."

Jade made a sound like cats fighting, and Dave kicked her in the shin. She laughed. "Don't listen to him, Karkat," she said. "He's grumpy. Already used up his sensitivity gland, he literally biologically cannot produce any more shits to give."

Dave nodded, shrugging, and Karkat was so fucking done with these idiots and about to open his mouth and tell them so when a car pulled up to the curb and honked a few times, and Karkat looked around and all three of them watched as a tall kid in a red sweater got out, held the back door open, grabbed someone's arm, helped them out. Karkat let out a huge groan and got up, jogging over to the other group, calling, "Kanaya, didn't you _just_ say-"

Dave peered at the two figures, one in red, one in a bright yellow coat, wearing a knit beanie of red and blue. "Who are they?" he asked.

"Well," sighed Jade, looking after him. "The one in red is definitely Karkat's brother. He's nice, well-intentioned and everything, just sometimes he, you know, misses the mark."

"He does what now?"

"It's, just…you'll see." She took Dave's hand and pulled him to his feet, held him a little bit in a warming embrace, then followed Karkat to go back to where the others were sitting. Karkat was standing, tense and angry, as his brother reached them and said something.

"No!" said Karkat. "God, no, just leave, okay? Can you not, Kankri? Can you really just not?"

Kankri barely acknowledged his brother; the boy that was with him, slightly older than Karkat, maybe Kankri's age, had this look of unmitigated disgust on his face. There was also something a little bit off about his face, about the way he moved his muscles, something that Dave kept squinting at and kind of reminded him of something but he couldn't even figure out what it was.

"Kanaya," said Kankri shortly, "aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"

Everybody looked at Kanaya, who smiled when she heard Karkat obnoxiously sighing, then said, "Of course, Kankri. Everyone, this is Kankri Vantas, Karkat's brother. That's Mituna Captor as well, Sollux's brother." The kid in yellow waved awkwardly, with that sort of poor, jerky movement that Dave found all too familiar and it was then that he realized what was different about Mituna, and Kanaya continued, "Kankri, Mituna, well, you know John, but this is Rose, and Jade and Dave. They're friends of ours."

"How do you do," said Kankri, reaching out a hand to Rose, then Jade, then Dave in turn. Karkat groaned again.

Just to spite Karkat, Dave said, "Hey, yo," when he took Kankri's hand. "What's up?"

"Nothing," said Kankri, with a sigh. "We're merely stopping to pick up Sollux." Addressing the other kid, he continued, "Your father's got an appointment in half an hour, he needs you to stay at home."

Sollux glanced up. "Mituna can take care of himsthelf. You can take care of yoursthelf, can't you, Mituna?"

Kankri didn't say anything, but Dave saw the hard look on his face. "Oh," said Mituna, a grin breaking out on his face, showing his teeth, "oh, absa, absch-_lute_ly Kakr, Kankri, by my_sthe_lf, I'll be t-tuh-tuh-totally f-f-fine."

Dave couldn't hold back a smile. Kanaya said, "Sollux, why don't you just go with him? Not that I don't trust you, Mituna, just that I don't like either of you being home alone."

"No_oo_. It'sth – it'sch – f-f-fine, Kan, Kanaya.'

"Why can't he just thstay here?" asked Sollux, tapping something on his phone. "I'll drive him home when we're done. Easthy peasthy."

"Whatever, Sollux, just go with him," said Karkat, glaring at everyone. "Who needs the fucking dumbass here anyway, seriously."

"_Karkat!_"

"What?"

"That was _extremely_ rude. Apologize to Mituna."

"No, Kar, Kankri, it'sth ruh-really ok-k-kay-"

"_What_? No, I didn't – I call fucking everyone a dumbass!"

"Bullying is not nice, Karkat," said Kankri firmly. "You can't just call people names because of something that happened to them that they can't help."

"Kankri, K-Kankri w-w-wuh-wait-"

"Holy shit, _I'm_ the douche here? Come on, come _fucking_ on."

"And _you_," Kankri turned suddenly, rounding on Dave, who blinked, alarmed. "Will you get that smug privileged _smirk _off your face please! Just because somebody can't express their words as articulately as you can does not mean you get to-"

"He wasn't doing that," said Jade suddenly, stepping forward defensively. To Mituna, she said, "He wasn't laughing at you, Mituna." He bowed his head slightly, pulling his warm hat further down his head. "Laughing at you would be mean, and Dave's not mean, he just has some friends with some speech problems as well. I bet you remind him of them! So thank you for that, Mituna, I think Dave really needs it."

"Thanks a ton for speaking for me, Harley."

"Do you have anything to add?"

"No, you got this."

Dave grinned and looked around and then it felt like his heart beat once, too thick and loud against his ribcage, filling with something heavy as he saw John's expression, watching Mituna. Rose was better; she was at least hiding it, having lived her whole life with better manners, practicing ways to ignore things she didn't like or understand. John didn't get that, and he was staring at Mituna the same way kids stared at Tav and Dave had to look away because it made him so angry.

"So, yeah," said Dave. "Do you want to hang around, Mituna? Is that cool? Maybe we can ditch these losers, there's some swings over there."

Mituna's face lit up and he craned his neck to see the swings. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said. "Or, ac-chually, can you sk, skuh-ateboard?"

Dave was a little taken aback by the suggestion, but he shrugged. "Sure. I can learn. You got a board?"

Mituna struggled to get the backpack he was wearing off his back (Kankri helped him, eventually, gently pulling the strap off of one shoulder) and it took an excruciatingly long time and once he got it out and held it out, proudly, Dave said, "Awesome, you know what, let's go try it out over here," because he had to get away from everyone else's looks.

Jade went with him, and Mituna showed them a few tricks (he was better than you'd think he'd be, but every time he fell Dave still felt that lurch in his chest, and he knew it was totally unfair to compare this kid to Tav, they really had very, very little in common, but he couldn't help it, he liked Mituna just fine and he hated the way the others looked at him, and so what maybe that made him an asshole, he didn't care, it just felt good to be around someone who had some damn perspective again). Dave had never even been on a skateboard, he actually thought that was more of a douchey California kid thing, if _The Weekenders_ had taught him anything, but Jade seemed pretty good at it despite insisting she'd never tried it ever before (but then again, Jade was pretty much good at everything).

Mituna laughed really hard when Dave fell, and at one point said something to Jade that made her jaw drop, and for a second Dave didn't know how to deal. But there was that shining something in Mituna's eyes, some sort of gross desperation, and Dave didn't say anything about it. Jade demanded an apology and after a few minutes, Mituna gave it to her and they moved on, but Dave didn't say anything.

Kankri hovered around the rest of them for a few minutes. "Karkat," he said suddenly. "I need to speak with you."

"No," said Karkat bluntly.

"Karkat."

"I said _no_."

Kanaya looked over at him. "Karkat, please," she said. "Go with your brother. Just for a moment."

Karkat looked at all of them, then let out a loud, frustrated sigh, and followed his brother slightly away from the others.

There was silence. Karkat glared at his brother. "So?"

Kankri asked, "Can I leave Mituna here?"

"I don't fucking care. You can do what you want with that kid, not like he knows what's going on."

"Karkat, I do not appreciate your blatantly ableist-"

"He's a jerk! Okay! It's not just that he can't put ten words together coherently, he's also a total asshole and always has been."

"He cares very much about us."

"Yeah," said Karkat, "he should. It's only his fault Dad's in-"

"_Don't_ blame him for that. That's a complete fallacy, you cannot blame him for what our father did."

"Yeah, I can."

"You cannot. You only think about yourself, Karkat, never about how your words or actions may affect others. You have to keep that in mind. What with the way you speak to people, you might as well be a walking, talking trigger-"

"Does this conversation have a point? Because I am _thisclose_ to punching you right in the face and getting it over with."

Kankri shifted uncomfortably. He raised his dark eyes to look out at Dave and Jade and Mituna. He said, "I don't want you to go on Monday."

Karkat blinked at his brother. "What?"

"On Monday. To see Dad."

"You don't want me to go?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Kankri didn't reply immediately. "I'm not going either."

"Why?"

"Because why should we," said Kankri, his words spilling out of his mouth. "_Why_ should we have to go see him? He's done nothing but cause pain and trouble for us for years now. I don't want to subject myself to a visit to a federal _prison_ only because my father made a poor decision. It's unfair and it brings up too many painful memories and feelings for all of us and it keeps us bitter. We owe nothing to him."

Karkat stared at his brother. "_What?_" he said, disbelievingly. "Are you fucking serious?"

Kankri said nothing.

"What are… since when… holy _shit_, Kankri, what about this situation _right now_ made it seem like this was a good time to bring this up?"

"I'm merely making the suggestion that you consider it. You needn't make the decision entirely right now. Think on it. I have a meeting to attend now, but when I get back tonight, I'd like to hear what you think."

"Kankri-"

"Shh. I don't want to pressure you into a response right now. I'll speak with you later."

"That's not – Kankri!"

He was already walking away, arms crossed, heading back to the car. Karkat stood there for a long moment, watching him leave, his throat stinging, but not as much as his fists ached to tear his brother fucking apart.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Click_. "Terezi Pyrope, can I help you?"

"Shit, TZ, when'd you get all professional?"

"Karkat! It's so good to hear from you! How are you doing this holiday season? Wearing ugly sweaters? Drinking just enough eggnog to get totally plastered?"

"I'm sorry, what the fuck kind of eggnog are you drinking?"

"Seriously! Are you partying and everything? How is everybody?"

"I haven't been partying, no, sorry. Have I ever partied? Like, in all the time you've known me, have I ever been one to party?"

"Karkat! Don't spoil my awesome visions of you and Sollux throwing totally rad Christmas parties! Like, bobbing for apples and shit…"

"That's a Halloween thing? What?"

"Speaking of Sollux, how are the grand ol' Captors?"

"Fucking ruined, as usual."

"Ouch."

"Sollux is fine, super fucking smart as usual. He designed this videogame thing that's kind of cool."

"What's it like?"

"I don't know. It's stupid. I'll send it to you, you can be on my team."

"Sounds great!"

"Mituna continues to be the asshole that nobody can call out because, you know."

"He's not that bad."

"He's pretty bad."

"You're not being fair, Karkat. He was such a good kid, it's not his fault that-"

"I don't want to talk about that."

There was a pause. Terezi asked, "Is this about your dad?"

"No."

"I get that this is a sensitive subject, but it's not like it's Mituna's fault."

"I didn't say that."

"You're great, Karkat, but you are so fucking far into denial that-"

"Can we, like, not? Jesus Christ. Every single time I try to talk to anybody everybody always tries to defend somebody. I'm not mad at anybody! I'm not fucking blaming anybody, Jesus."

Silence. Terezi asked, "How's Kanaya?"

"Good. Nice seeing her again."

"Have any crazy stories about boarding school?"

"No. It's great she got that scholarship and all but how much fucking bullshit is it that her fucking mother is stuck looking after one kid who isn't even hers? I mean, what the fuck is this."

"It's not even like that. Porrim cares about you a whole lot."

"Who cares. Whatever. I want to get fucking out of here."

"Why? Washington is great. More like Pacific North-_best_, am I right? _Zing_."

"Who the fuck are you? Swear to fucking God."

"Seriously, what's wrong?"

"You got out."

"Not by my choice, exactly."

"You could've come back for college."

"I needed to stay with my mom. She's the moneymaker of the family, apart from my choice ass, that is."

"This fucking sucks. Why didn't you come visit."

"Sorry, Karkat. We actually have shit here we need to take care of."

"Whatever. John collected his gaggle of dumbasses from around the country and you couldn't spare a fucking week? Whatever."

"Oh, right, I almost forgot Dave was up there. Have you met him? Isn't he great?"

"Dave? He's a total dumbass."

"What? What Dave did you meet? Dave's hilarious."

"He's stupid as fuck. I don't like him."

Silence. Then Terezi said, "Aw, that's pretty cute."

"What's cute."

"You're jealous."

"I'm not fucking jealous."

"Aw! Wittle Karkat is jeawous of cute wittle Davie!"

"Will you shut the fuck up! God, Terezi, what the fuck even-"

"No, but," she interrupted, suddenly serious, "actually, I need you to tell Dave something for me."

"What?"

"It's really important, I just need you to… you know what, just tell him to call me. Tell him something really big's happened and he needs to call me like ASAP. Can you let him know? I mean I could text him or something but I just want to make sure somebody lets him know. Will you?"

"I don't know. I fucking guess."

"Please, please, please. It's super important."

"Whatever. I'll let him know. Maybe. Probably."

"Thanks, Karkat. It really is really important."

There was a pause. Karkat hesitated, then asked, "Do you, uh…do you wanna talk about it?"

A moment of utter, complete silence, and then her cackling laughter came rushing across the line, pouring into his ear, and he turned red and got angry and started yelling at her, and she yelled back, and he let out a silent sigh of relief because things were pretty much back to normal.


	10. ACT TWO ACT SIX

Dave slept the most. Jade was always up first, usually before John's dad, and would go and hang out and watch C-SPAN until everyone else was awake. John would join her not long after that and Rose would end up waking Dave up an hour or so later, but he was grumpy in the mornings so it took a while.

It was hardly nine AM, earlier than Rose usually woke up but she'd planned this, a little bit, and she came padding down the stairs in her fuzzy socks and pretty, warm pajamas and leaned over the couch where Jade and John were basically laying across each other, staring at the TV screen. "Hey, you two," she said quietly.

"Rose!" said John, a grin splitting his face. "You're up early, heh!"

She shrugged, stepping around to the front of the couch. "Can I join you?"

"Sure," said Jade, and she scooched over, making room for Rose, who graciously sat down between them.

"Where's Dave?" asked John, looking around. "Usually you come dragging him out here too, ha, ha! Couldn't get him up this morning?"

"No," said Rose. "I didn't want to wake him up."

There was a short silence as they all got her drift. "What?" asked John. "Do you want to like…talk about him, or something?"

"I don't think this is right," said Jade, concerned. "We shouldn't be talking about him behind his back. Why don't we just wait and talk to him when he's awake?"

"Because he never talks about these things," replied Rose shortly. "And because he always gets so stressed out and upset when we _do _ask about certain things, isn't it just better if we not do that to him?"

"Yeah," said John fairly. "That makes sense."

Jade didn't say anything in protest, but her worry was written plainly across her face.

"Anyway ," continued Rose, her voice very low. "I just – I have to know. Do either of you have any idea what went down with his brother and Vriska's mom?"

"No," said John. "I have no idea. He gets so weird about Vriska, I mean, he told me that thing that happened with his friend, but not with her mom. I thought you knew."

"How would I know?"

"Your mom is like, I don't know, like _his _mom or something. She knows everything about him."

"Yeah," said Rose. "Yeah, well, she does know, actually. But she's never told me. And Dirk has never told me either, like, I've asked him because we talk a lot, but he won't talk about it at all. He's better than Dave, he doesn't get all crazy and antsy about it, but he won't say a thing. As I understand, there was some breakage of hearts that went on, but is that so surprising? And is it so devastating? Dirk's failed romance with Jake was awful, but that didn't send both him and his brother spiraling, now, did it? And what with what Vriska said the other day – didn't it sound like he threatened her? I can't imagine what would make him take it that far. It frightens me in a way, because I don't know where his limit is, and I don't know how unstable he may be. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," said John definitively, nodding his head. "Absolutely. Totally. Jade, what do you think?"

Jade didn't say much. She just shook her head. "Maybe you should just ask Dave what happened," she said.

"You know how he gets."

"He only gets that way because you two get really confrontational about this whole business. So it's a sensitive subject for him, so what! He's still Dave. He just has a lot of feelings about this."

"I don't want him to, like, get mad at me."

"He's not mad at you. John, I am one-hundred-and-ten percent sure he would not be really mad at you if you just asked him about this. Don't you like him? Don't you _know_ him? Gosh, I love you two, but you can sometimes come across as just a little bit petty!"

"_Petty?_" echoed Rose, personally affronted. "I assure you, Jade, I am many things, but I have never thought my actions were-"

"Then why aren't you just really direct with him, instead of purposefully trying to go behind his back? I don't get what you're so afraid of."

"I'm not _afraid_ of anything, I just-"

"Then you're being unfair."

"I am not! Jade, _you're _the one who's being unfair here."

"You guys, calm down, don't fight."

"John, stay out of this."

"No, Rose, he's right, I'm not mad at you, I don't want to start fighting. I just wanted to say that I feel like maybe you two need to remember that Dave is more than the way he gets like sometimes, you know, and you really should respect-"

"What am I?"

They all turned around, looking behind the couch. "Dave!" said Jade. "Get over here, come here, come here. We were just talking about you."

"What about me? What?"

He was groggy and tired, but he trudged over to the couch and sat down between Jade and Rose, squeezing all four of them on there.

"Dave," said Jade, leaning against him, her head on his shoulder, "there's something we want to ask you."

Rose rolled her eyes a little bit, irritated, and John leaned in, almost eagerly. Dave blinked and lifted up his shades, rubbing his eyes with the inside of his wrist. "Yup?" he asked, yawning.

"What happened with Vriska's mom?" asked John, his eyes darting to glance at Rose. "And your brother, I mean. Why are you guys so intense about it? What happened?"

Dave looked at them, then at Jade. She nodded encouragingly, holding onto his arm. He let out a long, low sigh and leaned back on the couch.

"None of your business is what happened," he said, but then he added, "But I'll tell you. I know you guys are like dying because you don't know. Come on, have a little respect for a guy's space, would'ja?"

"We do have respect for your space," began Rose, but Dave interrupted her.

"Not me," he said. "By all means, violate my space, I don't care, I trust you guys to hell and back. But my bro. Like, you don't gotta know everything about him, do you?"

"No," answered John. "But I do want to know things that will help me know you."

Dave resisted the melting he felt in his heart. "Okay," he said. "O-fucking-kay, Jesus you guys, fine."

There was silence.

And then Dave began, "You know my brother had to go to the hospital a couple years ago. He was in a psyche ward overnight, and he was better in the morning but not all better. Anyway I actually…Rose's mom paid for some meds for him after that and some therapy too and he went to the therapy, mostly, but didn't like the drugs so much. But anyway after like a year of that, he quit meeting with his therapist. He wouldn't tell me why at first but, like, you should'a seen him. He was like a whole new guy. He was so much smarter and funny and sharp, totally on top of things. He got a raise and, like, I don't know. I never seen him more in control of our life than he was then. Anyway what it turned out was that he was seein' Vriska's mom, who he hadn't known all that long but whatever. They were dating and bein' bitches together and holy shit, you should'a heard them whenever they got talkin'. It was like a fuckin' high school movie. They hated everything. But they got on okay. He was fun. I liked it.

"They also got into some…I don't know. Funky stuff. I mean, yeah, you laugh, it sounds funny, but it was so fucked up. Obvs Dirk didn't talk about it to me because it was like, sexy shit with her and, I don't know, he liked to pretend I had no idea, but they just… like he was blowin' a hundred bucks a month on like, ropes and leather and shit, it was a fuckin' problem. And he'd have…"

He paused, cleared his throat a little.

"He'd have these bruises and shit? Everywhere on him, like all over, and it was really gross and you could tell it was really fucking exhausting for him. And then when she'd be gone for a couple days, because, you know, sometimes she had these business trips she'd go off on? And whenever she was gone for a couple a'days he got _really_ fucking weird, like, I don't know. It got really intense sometimes. But, you know, that was better than where he was before, you know? He was so like, confident and shit. Things were working out and things don't work out for us all that often so whatever, it was fine. I let it go."

"How long?" asked Rose.

"What?"

"How long were they together?"

Dave looked at her for a second, then said, "'Like…'bout two years. Best two years a'his life, he'd tell ya."

"Were they?"

"I dunno. I couldn't say. He sure looked like he liked it, that's all I can say."

"What happened?" asked John.

Dave let out another low, humming sigh. "I was gone for the weekend, at Tav's house. Dirk had been try'na get me outta the house for like, weeks. So I was gone, and it was, like, it was Valentine's Day. I remember that. And when I got home I thought he was out, maybe, with her some place fancier than our dinky li'l apartment, you know, and I…"

He paused, closed his mouth, then opened it again.

"I went into his room and he was there on the bed, just…wrecked."

"What?" asked Rose. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," said Dave, his speech quickening slightly. "I don't know what she did to him exactly, but like, I had to cut off these fucking ropes, it was fucking awful. It was the worst fucking thing I've ever done in my life. He was messed up. I should'a taken him to the hospital or something but I didn't, I just like had him sit down and drink some water, eat something, take a shower. It was so gross. He got feeling back in his fingers n'everything so we knew he'd be pretty much okay, so I started to fucking, you know, just chew him the fuck out, because this was such total bullshit and he should'a known that before he got into it. You know? I don't know, I was yellin' at him and it got really bad, really outta control."

He stopped suddenly, and was quiet for a minute or so. Jade held, tightly, onto his hand.

"Anyway," he continued, "the next night he's gone and Latula ends up bringing him home from the police station. He, like. Okay, this sounds bad, but he went to Mindy's house and he broke in and he threatened to kill her."

"_What?_" asked Rose.

"Mindy?" asked John.

"Vriska's mom," replied Dave, to John. "She has this stupid… I don't know, it's this weird thing they have, he calls her Mindy. Anyway, yeah, he doesn't talk about it much but I heard that Vriska's sister talked him down. She's all right."

"Hold on," said Rose. "You're so angry at her, but your brother literally threatened to _kill _them? Dave, don't you think that's a little-"

"I think you don't know how he looked," he interrupted her, quietly. "I think you weren't the one who had to see him like that. I think that, yeah, he could'a killed her. I don't think I would'a blamed him all that much."

"Are you _joking?_"

"I dunno, Rose, am I?"

She stood up, staring at them. "Dave, I love your brother a lot, you know that, but I can't just excuse that. This is serious. Frankly, I'm a little surprised that you're even still with him, if he's got something like this on his criminal record."

"She didn't press charges."

"Don't you think they should have? I mean, what you do in the consensual privacy of your own bedroom is one thing, but to go into her _home _and threaten her and her children? Dave…_really_…"

"You don't know what she did to him."

"You just told me what she did to him."

"She _ruined_ him."

"And that means he should _kill _her?"

"He didn't. He wasn't going to. It wasn't even about that!"

"What do you mean it wasn't _about_ that?"

"She _ruined him_, Rose, you need to _sit down_-"

"You keep saying that, I just think perhaps a broken heart doesn't equate a _death threat_-"

"He got on meds after that! He knew exactly what the fuck he did wrong! Don't you talk to him. Don't say anything to him. Sit down, Rose."

There was silence. Then Rose did so, taking her seat again between Dave and John. "I'm going to speak with my mother about this," she said, still sounding upset. "Don't you think I won't."

Jade held Dave's hand and John looked at them, uneasily, and Dave and Rose didn't touch and a silence settled on the four of them, heavy and blanketing and cold.

Dave watched his brother doubtfully as Dirk kept running his fingers through his hair, his tongue flitting across his lips. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Dave asked.

"Yeah," replied Dirk immediately, glancing at him. "A'course I do. Been a while, but, who fuckin' knows, maybe we'll get a Christmas miracle."

"Because things went so well last time."

"Could'a been worse."

"As your next failed relationship demonstrated."

Dirk sighed and turned around to face his brother. "Look," he said. "I appreciate your concern. But Jake and me are big boys, and we'll be all right."

"You say that…" began Dave pointedly, but Dirk spoke over him.

"I know where it went wrong last time, okay? I am, believe me, acutely aware. So maybe, I been thinkin', maybe it's a better thing that he won't be around afterwards. He'll go back to East Jesus and I'll stay there in Houston and it might work. That's how you 'n' John do it, right?"

"Right," replied Dave skeptically, "except, you know, me and John actually like each other."

"You don't think I like the guy?"

"I think you're kidding yourself if you think he's looking for, like, an actual thing."

"Hell, maybe I ain't either. Maybe I just want a good lay."

"Why do you do this to yourself?"

"Why do I do what to myself?"

"Why do you keep getting involved with _exactly _the kind of people who'll tear you apart?"

"I don't know. They're the only ones who'll take me."

"Which is bullshit. Why don't you and Roxy-"

Dirk glanced at his brother. "Why do you keep pushing that?" he asked, almost suspiciously.

Dave knew exactly why, but he said, "I don't know."

"Well, it ain't gonna happen. Don't be weird, Dave, she fucking asked you to call her _Mom_."

Dave didn't look away from his brother. He said, "Yeah."

There was an awkward little pause, and Dirk stood up a little stiffer. "Whatever. She's already out with John's dad tonight anyway, so."

"And you're gonna go attempt to rekindle a spectacularly failed romance and get your heart broken in the process. If you're cryin' when you come back, I'mma lock you in here alone."

"Okay, Dave."

It bothered Dave that his brother would brush him off like that. "I swear to God," he continued, pushing it, "no wonder you're into that, you know, that weird shit. You're the worst kind of masochist."

"You're so cute when you drop big words."

"Don't make a fucking joke out of this."

Dirk stopped and turned around to look at his brother. "Okay," he said. "What do you want me to say? I disagree with you, Dave, and I think you might be a li'l young to understand why exactly, but I was gonna avoid sayin' that 'cause I knew it'd piss you off."

It did piss Dave off, but he wasn't sure he wanted to give his brother the satisfaction of being right. "I just don't fuckin' know why you put up with people who treat you like shit."

"It's kinda funny," said Dirk, turning away from him, "this whole teen-fairness thing you got goin' on. It's very eighties, man, you were born in the wrong-"

"Bro."

Dirk let out a little breath and said, "Hope you and John don't learn this the hard way, _bro_, but d'you really think somebody ain't gonna hurt you just 'cause they love you?"

"What?"

"I mean, hell, look at me and you. Can't go two days without cryin' myself to sleep over your stupid ass."

"_What?_"

"That was a joke, Dave," said Dirk mildly. "Anyway, you put up with the bullshit because, I don't know, you like 'em a whole lot. That's how it is."

"That doesn't excuse, like, _anything_ Mindy-"

"I ain't try'na excuse her. Does it sound like I am? It's just really fucking complicated, okay, and it's more than that and not quite what you think, and so…"

"Maybe if you weren't such a pussy, you'd'a told me what it _was_ like."

"Sure, since you're so interested, it was sticky and painful and arousing and the greatest sex I ever had. We done here?"

Dave didn't reply to that. Downstairs, the doorbell rang.

"Look at that," said Dirk, grinning tightly. "My prom date has arrived."

He headed out of the room, his hand on the door, and then Dave said, "Me too."

Dirk stopped. He didn't move, and then he closed the door and looked at Dave, pale and stricken. "What did you say?"

Dave wouldn't look up. "Just go."

"No," he said, shaking his head, crossing the room. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing," said Dave, refusing to look up. "Just go."

Dirk reached up and hesitated, then put his hands firmly on Dave's shoulders. "Dave…" he began, cautiously.

"I don't wanna-"

There was a knock at the door. "Dirk?" called Rose's voice. "Jake is here."

"Gimme a minute," called Dirk, without looking away from Dave. He lowered his voice and he continued, "Look…you're right. Everything you ever thought about that bullshit, you're totally right, I'm sorry. I'm really, really fucking sorry and I know you know that. Okay, don't interrupt me, hold on." He paused, then his voice was even lower, just above a whisper. "I know why you're tryin' to get us all outta the house tonight, okay? John told his dad and he talked to me about it. Don't, I mean…" He shut his mouth and glanced away, then back, a muscle in his jaw jumping. "Don't let me make this bad for you. Please. I'm worried about you."

Dave was staring at the floor between them, his head tilted down just so Dirk couldn't find his gaze. Quietly, he said, "You don't have to be."

There was a silence, except for Dirk's breathing, slightly heavier than usual. "Okay," he said, and then he put his arms around Dave, pulling him into his chest. Dave's face was pressed against his neck. "I'm so sorry," he whispered again, and then he let Dave go. "Be safe, okay, little man?"

"Don't call me-"

"Left some lube in my stuff if you need it."

"_Dude_."

"Believe me. You'll need it."

"Oh my God."

"Cherry flavor."

"_Leave_."

"Keep it simple, first time is always-"

"_Please_ leave."

Dirk hesitated, then nodded, and opened the door and left, leaving it hanging open after him. Dave stood there, unmoving. He heard his brother's voice, and Jake's, and then after a few moments, the door opening and closing. He heard footsteps on the landing, then John appeared in the doorway.

"Dave?" he said, blinking. "Is everything okay?"

Dave nodded. "Yeah," he said. They didn't move for a second. He asked, "They gone?"

They heard the sound of a car starting outside, driving off. "Sounds like it. Come on."

John headed downstairs, to where Rose and Jade were pulling on heavy coats. "Sorry to kick you out," said John apologetically. "I feel kind of bad about that."

"Oh, don't worry about it," said Rose, but there was a tension in her voice that they were unfamiliar with. "You two deserve some privacy. And Kanaya has been asking me to come over since we got here, it'll be very nice."

"And I've hardly talked with Karkat at _all_," said Jade sincerely. "I love you guys, but I'm so psyched to see him!"

John nodded. Dave hung behind him silently. Rose hugged John and said, "Have fun, boys." Jade did the same and smiled at John, then went to Dave and squeezed him tightly and kissed him on the cheek.

"See you, then."

"Yup."

"Enjoy yourself."

"Mm-hm."

She paused before him, then nodded, pulling away. "Okay, Rose!" she said, grinning at them all, then wrapping a scarf around her chin and mouth. "Time to brave the elements!" She took Rose's hand, and then opened the door, and Rose glanced back and smiled at them and her eyes looked past John's and found Dave's, and he nodded a little bit, and the girls were gone.

John looked back at Dave, who met his gaze. "So…" he said, in what he obviously thought was a seductive voice. Dave shook his head, a little smile on his face.

"You're a dumbass," he said, as John went to him and put his arms around his waist, grinning up at him.

"But I'm _your_ dumbass," added John affectionately, kissing his jaw.

Dave blinked. "No, you're not…" he stopped himself there. He knew what John meant, and it wasn't that. "Right," he murmured, and he let John kiss him.

"So," said John, pulling Dave upstairs, to his bedroom, "I got some things ready, I hope you like it." John opened his door. There were big candles beside the bed, on the windowsill, everywhere. Dave's stomach tightened slightly.

"Okay," said Dave, turning around to look at John. "Okay. Are we…are we doing this?"

John half-nodded, half-shrugged, grinning sheepishly at Dave, suddenly shy. This was adorable, which Dave knew, and usually he'd be charmed by it but right at that moment it was kind of annoying. He didn't touch John. He went to the bed and fell down on it, his feet still barely touching the floor. John came over to him, tucked himself between Dave's legs, leaned forward to lay on him, his fingers intertwining with Dave's. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes," replied Dave. "And don't get me wrong, I wanna do this. A lot. I really like you, John."

John pulled away, looking at Dave, tense. "But…"

"No buts."

"Not breaking up with me?"

"What? No. I just said I like you, John."

"Well, you know, sometimes you use that _other_ word when trying to tell me that, so…"

Dave looked at him blankly for a moment, then said, "Oh. No, yeah. I love you, John. You know that, right?"

John nodded happily, laying his head on Dave's chest. "Yes! I do."

"I don't know. It's just."

John rested his chin on Dave's chest, looking up at him.

Dave admitted, "The candles kind of freak me out."

John straightened up. "The candles?" he asked. "What? What about them?"

"I don't know," said Dave. "I don't know, they just seem kind of, I don't know. I don't know."

"Well," said John, "okay. I can get rid of them."

"Thank you."

John got up and went around picking up the candles, then opened a drawer and dumped them all in. "There," he said. "All taken care of."

Dave nodded, sitting up. John came and sat next to him.

"What is with you?" he asked. "Is there something wrong, or something?"

Dave let John touch his neck, fingers at his hair. He asked, "Did you really tell your dad about this?"

John seemed taken aback by this. "Um," he said, "yes."

"Why?"

"I dunno," said John, shrugging. "He's my dad. I tell him everything. He was really supportive, I guess. Did you tell your brother?"

"No," said Dave, "which is kind of the problem? Your dad talked to my bro."

"Mm. I can see why that would be a problem."

"Exactly. You think I want him knowing? I don't want him knowing."

"Well, I mean. I bet he kind of, you know…suspects."

"Yeah, only because he lost his virginity when he was, like, ten."

"What?" The sincere concern in John's voice was the thing Dave loved most about him.

"Not really. I don't know. I don't actually know, it was sometime before he dropped out, so he was probably – that's not important. I don't like my bro knowing this shit about me. And about you."

"You don't like your bro knowing a lot of things."

"Whatever. Just for future reference."

"Okay. If I ever tell my dad that I'm going to lose my virginity to my boyfriend ever again, I'll tell him explicitly not to tell your brother."

"John-"

"I'm kidding! I'm sorry. You're right, my dad messed up, I guess. But I'm still glad I told him. He gave me condoms and everything."

Dave thought of his brother, of the uncertain, anxious look in his eye. "I got some lube."

John raised an eyebrow, amused. "Oh, Mister Strider…"

"I'll go get it," said Dave, getting up, calling, as he left John's room, "Apparently it's cherry flavored."

John laughed and replied by calling, "Let's taste it, just to make sure."

"That's gross," said Dave, his voice raised so John could hear, going into the room he shared with his brother. He poked through his brother's bag; it was at the top of his bag, along with some condoms and – holy shit, Dave had to close the bag really quickly, look away, a blush rising to his cheeks. Fucking Dirk.

He opened the bag again and took out the lube and, for good measure, the condoms, but left the panties and girly thigh-highs. What a fucking asshole. Fuck Dirk. Fuck him, especially, for probably thinking this was a thoughtful, sincere gift for a kid's sexual debut.

Dave went back into John's room, saying, "I ain't tastin' this shit unless it's literally on your c-" and then he stopped talking because John was laying there, naked except for his boxer shorts. He grinned at Dave, who didn't move. He stood there, stock-still in the doorway.

"Dave?" asked John, after a moment. "Is everything okay?"

Dave didn't say anything.

"Oh, gee," said John, covering his face. "Sorry, am I going too fast? Sorry. I can put my shirt back on, if you-"

"No," said Dave. "No, no, it's not you."

John watched him, coming into the room, emptying his hands onto the table beside the bed. "So what is it?" John asked. "Communication is really important right now, Dave, so maybe before we get started we should really sit down and have a real heart-to-heart about-"

Dave lifted a knee up to rest on the bed, right beside John's body, and then leaned down to press his lips against John's. For a long moment, they said nothing. Dave said, "You wanna do this, you can shut up now."

John nodded. "Okay," he said, and Dave put both his hands to John's face and pushed a little, fell onto the bed, and John rolled onto him, sinking deeper into the kiss. He reached up and discarded Dave's shades. Dave curled his hands around John's bare thighs, feeling warm and satisfied. John snuck his hands underneath Dave's shirt and Dave responded, tugging it off of himself, briefly breaking their kiss. John kissed his mouth and jaw and neck, and then they rolled over and Dave was on top, trailing his hands and then his mouth down John's chest, gently sucking, holding him tightly. He reached his waist, the edge of John's underwear and he grinned a little and took John's hands and glanced up at him, and went back up to kiss him on the mouth, then John let go of one of his hands and a moment later, fingers were fumbling with the zipper of Dave's pants and then lowered slightly, gingerly touching him through his boxers, and suddenly it hit Dave hard in the stomach and he recoiled completely, pulling off of John, both of them dazed, Dave at the edge of the bed, eyes wide, breathing heavily.

"Dave?" asked John, blinking. "What…are you okay?"

Dave didn't say anything until he'd leaned off the bed and picked his shades off the floor. He jammed them back onto his face and said, "John. Okay."

"What?"

"Sorry. That was weird."

"Yeah. Did I do something wrong?"

"No. I don't know. It just…" Dave let out a frustrated sigh. "This is just really annoying, okay? I don't know. Every time I do this by myself I don't have a damn problem but I don't know, something about having somebody else…"

John's face fell. He closed his legs, drew them into his chest. "So you have done this with someone before."

Desperately, Dave said, "No, I… John…"

"It's okay. It really is! You're so cool, I'd only have expected it."

"It isn't like that."

"If you could just tell me who. Like I don't really care, not really, I don't need to know much about it. Unless it's your paralyzed friend, I guess. I'd kind of be interested in how that worked because it sort of sounds like a challenge."

"No. Hah, no."

"No?"

"It wasn't Tavros. It's not like that, John, it's not so…"

They sat in silence. John looked at him for a moment, then finally, a look of realization dawned over him. "Well," he said, "that's okay, too, Dave. You could've just said so."

Dave looked at him. "Said what?"

"If you're feeling a little…you know…_shy_ about this whole business, then we can talk about it."

Dave stared at him.

"Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?" asked John. "Maybe we could just cuddle for a while, or something. We don't have to rush into anything. Don't worry about it!"

Dave watched John for a long moment, and then he started to laugh.

"Dave?"

He leaned into John, sitting right before him. He wrapped his arms around John's neck and his face hovered just before John's and he said, "I love you," and kissed him.

They lay down again, and held each other for a while, saying nothing, John stroking Dave's hair softly. Then, tentatively, John began, "I…like that thing you do, you know, online."

Dave was laying his head on John's chest, not facing him. "What thing?"

"That…uhm, sorry, heh… when you touch yourself."

Dave felt a sudden tug down in his navel. He blinked.

"That really, like. It really turns me on."

His breathing quickened slightly, but he was silent and didn't think John noticed.

"I was pretty nervous when we started that, do you remember?" He laughed. "But you made me feel better about it all. You were so good at it."

"I'm a natural."

"Yeah! Exactly, I don't know how you do it. You're just…naturally sexy. You know what to do, and stuff. I mean because I've seen porn and stuff and, believe me, Dave, you can out-perform all of those guys. And probably some of the girls too."

Dave couldn't hold back a laugh. He buried his face in John's chest.

"Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say here is, you're pretty sexy. And I really like when you do sexy things for me on a camera. Heh, that sounded pretty dirty. I mean, like, when we're talking to each other. Not like an actual camera, like filming it or something. I think that's illegal."

"Child pornography. Pretty sure."

"Right. That would make us child pornographers."

"You're not even seventeen yet. I'm a total cougar."

"You're five months older than me. Oh _no_, look at this badass."

"Bet you like older men."

John laughed. "I don't actually."

Silence.

John asked, "Do you?"

"I'm dating you, aren't I?"

"I'm just asking."

Dave looked up at John, who glanced down at him.

John sighed, "What I'm really getting at is that I'm okay if our sexy times stay on camera. If you're not okay with this then I'm okay with that. Let's go watch a movie or something. Maybe you can practice with Rose or Jade or something."

Dave raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

John shrugged. "I know you're not ready for this yet. That's okay, I bet doing it with a girl is easier anyway."

"What?" asked Dave. "No. That's not what this is about. Do you think that's what this is about?"

John looked at him. "Well," he said, "I don't know. I guess I'm just trying to touch all my bases here, ha ha."

Dave looked at him carefully for a second, then said, "You know what, no. I can do this. You're fucking fine, John, I fucking know that. I can fuck you."

"Oh, gee," said John. "That's the spirit!"

Dave got on his knees and unzipped his pants the whole way, then lay on his back and tugged them off. He wore his boxers and his socks. His mind flashed back to the panties and stockings and, holy shit, he was _not_ getting hard at that thought, _no no nope_.

"Wow," said John, looking up and down Dave, admiring his body. "Wow, wow, wow. Good job. You can do this."

"I know," said Dave, and he wrapped a hand around John's back, and he kissed him. He pulled himself on to John, his knees on either side of John's waist, and kept kissing him, and dragged his hands down the sides of John's thin body. Dave held him tightly, and John seemed a little surprised, a little overwhelmed, maybe, but he responded warmly, excitedly, and wrapped his arms around Dave and let him kiss him and kiss him and kiss him and kiss him-

Dave lifted John at his lower back, slightly, bucking against him through two layers of fabric, breathing harder now, lowering his mouth to John's neck and skimming his teeth across his collarbone. John said his name and Dave put his hands into John's hair, thrust his hips harder, grinding against John, and then his vision swam slightly and he pulled, hard, on John's hair, and he heard John cry out his name, again, and he moaned, "Don't say my name."

And then he fell silent and still.

John's hands were holding Dave's wrists tightly, his face flushed a deep red, his eyes big and watery. "Ow," he said, a pout in his lips. "You're hurting me."

A knot squirmed in Dave's stomach. He suddenly felt horrified, profane, wrong.

"I mean," continued John reasonably, leaning back, taking off his glasses, then putting his hands on Dave's thighs, "pulling my hair really, really killed it. You know?"

Dave got off of him completely. "Sorry," he said lowly.

"It's okay," sighed John, glancing at him. "I didn't mean stop."

"I think I should stop."

"Aw, come on. I believe in you, Dave. You just said it yourself, you can fuck me." He giggled at the word, a little.

"No," said Dave. "That's it. I can't fuck you."

"Not even if I want to get fucked?"

"I don't want to do that with you. I don't want to treat you like that."

"Like what? Like your boyfriend?"

"No! I don't know! Like-" he broke off.

John looked at him. "Like what?" he asked.

Dave didn't say anything, searching for something, for anything. Finally, he said, "Like I've been treated."

John sat up. "So…now you _have_ had sex."

"Yes," said Dave, "yes, John, that's what I had to tell you. I'm sorry. I chickened out. I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't like, you know, like… it was just some stuff that got kind of heavy, I blew somebody, and there was some heavy touching, you know. Kind of. Not with a… yeah."

John blinked, then nodded. "Okay," he said. "And so you're kind of weird about it?"

"It was…traumatic."  
"Who was it?"

Dave didn't say anything. He looked away. He thought of the cherry flavored lube, the condoms, the panties and thigh-highs. He thought about the way John's hair had felt in his hands, the words that had come right out of his own mouth. _Don't say my name_.

He said, "Gamzee. It was Gamzee Makara."

John stared at him. "The asshole who broke your glasses?"

Dave nodded wordlessly.

John looked away. He put two fingers to his mouth, then leaned over and put his arms around Dave. "Wow," he said. "I'm really sorry. I had no idea."

"It's okay."

"It's not. He treats you like shit and beats you up and gets you and your brother in trouble and everything, and then he has the nerve to come around looking for sex? What a total jerk."

"Yeah," said Dave, "to say the least."

"I'm sorry. Okay. I totally get why this is hard for you. I bet it was really gross and weird and scary. You told me he was scary, I'm sorry I didn't listen. All that weird scarred-up face and pointed teeth business. That's so weird. I can't believe this. I'm so sorry, Dave, if I'd had known I never would have asked you to do this. I bet this is really weird for you and brings up all kind of weird feelings. Okay. I'm sorry. Lay down, we can cuddle. Big spoon or little spoon? You can choose."

"John-"

"I know, I know, big spoon. That's okay, you're bigger anyway. Come on."

He lay down and tugged Dave over with him, pulled his arm around him, snuggled into the curve of Dave's body.

John said, "I love you no matter what some old dummy did. In fact, I have half a mind to go over to Houston and beat up his face myself. Maybe I will. Maybe I'll come down for Spring Break or something and do that."

Dave said nothing.

John asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Dave said, "Not really."

"Well, I'm here if you do. Thank you for opening up and being honest with me, Dave. Sometimes I worry about you because you're so, you know, so _you_, and you have a lot on your plate. I mean, all this nasty shit, and then add this! I'm sorry. You should just come live with me."

Dave touched his forehead to John's back. "Yeah," he said. "I should."

John fell silent, and Dave closed his eyes, guilt swirling in his stomach, his mouth sour and wrong, wrong, wrong.


	11. ACT TWO ACT SEVEN

"This is fucking stupid as hell."

"Hey, he's your date, not mine."

"I didn't sign up for this shit."

"Good boyfriends go ice-skating on Christmas Eve with their significant others, Dave."

"Don't talk to me. What a fucking queer."

"Somebody's cranky. Been gettin' enough sleep lately, little guy?"

"Don't fucking talk to me."

Dave was still lying in bed, unmoving apart from his frustrated commentary. His brother was putting on a jacket; he went over to Dave's bed and pulled the covers up a bit, exposing Dave's feet. "Come on," he said, tugging the kid's toes with cold fingers; Dave let out a little yelp and instantly retracted his feet back under the sheets. "Up and at 'em. I bet Mister Egbert's makin' some pancakes or French toast or some shit. Can John cook like his dad can? Because holy shit, we're bringin' him home with us if he can."

Dave murmured, "Shut the fuck up," into his pillow. There was a silence. And then, after a minute or so, Dave groaned and turned around, blinking. He rubbed his eyes and groaned again, loud and irritated. "It is way too fucking early for this."

"It's nine AM? The girls are gonna be there soon, come the fuck on."

"This is bullshit."

"Okay, I'mma go down and get some food. Don't make me send John up here to get you up."

"Fucking _ugh_."

Dirk headed to the door, and then, abruptly, he stopped. He hesitated, looked back at Dave, and then he let out a little sigh.

"Dave," he said, going back to stand by the kid's bed. "I need to talk to you."

Dave hardly opened his eyes, peering up at his brother blearily. "Now?" he asked.

He shrugged uncomfortably. "Mm. As long as you're here."

"And naked and vulnerable and in bed."

"Dave."

"Take a fuckin' joke, would'ja?"

"John talked to me."

Silence. Dave blinked at him. "Well," he said, "shit."

"Don't freak out."

"No, I just… did you know I specifically asked him not to talk about this shit with you?"

"Kid's worried about you, is all."

"You are fucking _joking_."

Dirk looked down at his brother, sitting up in bed. He had this look on his face, one that Dave was pretty much unfamiliar with, but made him want to look away.

Dirk asked quietly, "Why didn't you tell me about Gamzee?"

"_What?_"

He took off his shades, rubbed his eyes. "I'm really fucking sorry," he said, and he suddenly sounded distressed, way more upset than Dave had heard him in a long fucking time. "I had no idea. You could'a told me."

"No… Bro…"

"Like, _fuck_. If I'd'a known…"

"No, it's okay."

"It's not fucking okay? This is way too much shit for you, you gotta know that."

"That's okay. I'm not dead or anything, so. There's that."

"Dave. I know this is tough on you, but, like, if you'd just _told_ me, back home when they were dragging us through all that shit-"

"Look, Bro, okay, stop. Cut it out."

"I know this isn't the best time for this. But. I don't fucking know. When we get home I'mma take you to talk to someone, or something, because-"

"Stop. Just stop, holy shit, stop."

"Sorry. I know. Get up, you're going ice skating, y'little queer. But seriously."

"This is un-fucking-believable."

"Get up, get dressed. We'll figure this out. I promise."

"When did I become the neighborhood bike, I swear to fucking-"

"Dave." Dirk _actually kneeled down_, holding his shades in one hand, revealing his bright, concerned eyes. He didn't touch Dave (although Dave saw his hands flicker upwards slightly, as if to hold his shoulders or something, but then he resolutely put his hands back down again), and he had his serious face on and was making Dave feel super uncomfortable. "This doesn't have to be a joke. That's how you react and that's okay, but just, like…I know this is fucking hard, but just, we'll help you out. Alright?"

Dave ran a hand through his hair. "Fine," he said. "Great." A pause. "Just…go get some fucking breakfast. And tell John I'm mad at him."

Dirk looked at him one more time, then shrugged and stood up. "Okay, kid," he said. "Come on. Time to learn how to ice skate and become a real man." He took off, closing the door behind him.

Dave didn't move for another moment or so, and then he swore to himself and buried his head in his pillow again.

Less than an hour later, John dragged Dave through the door of the Maple Valley Ice Rink ("_We Do Birthdays And Bar Mitzvahs!_"). Roxy was already there, flirting with the college student working the snack bar, Rose sitting at a table trying not to glare at her mother. Jane was sitting at the table with Rose, watching Jade and Jake, both standing, both doing some sort of stretch that seemed needlessly complicated for ice-skating. As soon as Jade noticed them, she rushed forward with a squeal of delight and took hold of Dave and John's arms forcefully, demanding to know their shoe size. Looking slightly frightened, John glanced at Dave, who somehow found her enthusiasm weirdly endearing, or some shit, and a couple minutes later she was lacing up ice-skates onto Dave's feet, despite his protests. They put their shoes aside to tuck into one of the cubbies near the changing room; Dave took his phone out of his pocket and tucked it into his shoe.

Rose joined them and they sat together at a table separate from the adults; Dave glanced back and distinctly noticed his brother actively trying not to catch Jake's eye, and he felt that rush of anger again, but it was duller now, more tired. He was brought back to the present by Rose making odd fake gagging noises. "I'm so sorry, John," she said, rubbing her forehead, shaking her head slightly. "She has absolutely no shame."

"I don't know," said Jade brightly. "I think it's kind of cute. Old people love, how can you not love it?'

"But John's father is so classy and smart and my mother is so…well…"

"I think they like each other," said John, shrugging. "Which I think is the important part?"

Rose didn't say anything to this, looking slightly put out that no one was willing to trash her mother with her.

John continued, "Hey, Jade, is it true that Karkat's coming too?"

"I'm not really sure," she replied, pushing her glasses up her nose, putting down one of Dave's feet, the skate all laced up, and picking up the other, setting it on her bended knee. "He said something about visiting his dad today, which would be nice, it is Christmas Eve! And you know, their dad is really religious and stuff so it would mean a lot to him. But I don't know. Maybe he'll come afterwards. Is Kanaya coming?"

Rose snapped back to the conversation, having been glumly scowling at her mother from across a few tables. "Kanaya?" she repeated, blinking. Dave noticed that instead of her typical high-school-goth makeup routine, Rose looked uncharacteristically festive, her eyes shaded in red and gold. "Yeah," she said, adjusting her bangs slightly. "She'll be here a little later."

"Is she bringing Karkat?"

"I don't know. Doesn't he have that thing today?"

"Either way," said Jade, finishing Dave's second skate, "we'll have fun. I've never been ice-skating! Well, there was this time in Bandung, but it's been a while!"

"You've never been ice-skating?" asked John incredulously. "How can someone have never gone ice-skating? We used to go all the time when I was little. I almost took up figure-skating!"

Dave sighed loudly. "That doesn't surprise me. At fucking _all_." Jade took hold of his arm and pulled him to his feet unsteadily. He held her arms tightly for support. "Are we doin' this?" he asked. "Because I'd prefer to get my ice-legs before the lunch crowd shows up."

"Okay!" said Jade gleefully, carefully tugging him over to the entrance to the ice rink. "Let's go!"

She pulled him across the threshold onto the ice, and his legs flailed around comically for a moment, running in place, and then he promptly fell right on his ass, still holding onto her wrists. He groaned in pain, his tailbone throbbing, and Jade helped him up again.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned. "Did you hurt your coccyx?"

"Yes, I'm fine, I-" he broke off, looking at her suspiciously. She grinned. "I'm fine," he repeated, resisting the urge to glance back and check if John had been looking. "I thought you said you'd never been skating, goddammit, Jade."

"Well, I haven't, not really." She held onto him, skating backwards, her feet twisting back and forth, in between each other. "But it's not that hard!"

He eyed her resentfully. "Why are you good at everything?"

"Have you never been ice-skating, Dave?" she asked, ignoring his question. He let out a little grumble, but nodded. "Why didn't you tell John? Aw, I bet he would've liked to show you how to skate, your first time. It could've been all romantic and everything!"

"I was banking on the prospect that somebody's be worse at it than I am."

"Oh, Dave. I'd recommend you stay away from that assumption in the future."

He pretended to wince, while indulging himself in a little real wince because _ouch_.

She laughed and started to skate a little faster, glancing behind her. "I'm kidding," she said. "Look, look at that. Rose's mom sucks too."

Sure enough, Dave looked over to see Roxy completely eat it, right at Mr. Egbert's feet. She gazed up at him, transfixed by his gentlemanly charm, and then shakily got to her feet, leaning heavily on him.

"She's _drunk_," said Dave bluntly. "And flirting like crazy."

"Oh, right," said Jade, her eyes glinting. "And you're not?"

"_Jade_."

"I'm joking. I'm making a joke! I'm being funny. Laugh, Dave."

He let out a very forced bark of laughter, and Jade joined him, her own tittering, tinkling laughter hovering somewhere between sincere and outright bogus.

She slowed down, on the other side of the rink as the others; Dave noticed John and Rose, arm-in-arm, skating steadily ahead of them, gaining ground, looking relaxes and at ease. Jade said, "So, Dave."

"What."

"We never got to talk about the other night."

"What other night."

"With John."

"You really think _right now_ is appropriate time and place?"

"Does it look like anybody's listening?"

A ten-year-old flew past them, skating faster than, Dave thought, could possibly be safe or advisable. He looked around; his brother hadn't even stepped out onto the ice yet, and was instead hovering around the entrance with Jake, who looked eager to get out onto the rink, as if trying to convince Dirk to come with him.

"Okay," he said. "Whatever. Dumbass."

"Don't be mean!" she scolded him, slapping his arm gently. "One more crack like that, young man, and I'll let you go. I mean it. I'll just skate away, leaving you here to flounder around until security takes pity on you and drags you off the ice."

He faked a sob and she laughed.

"So? Tell me. How was it?"

"There's not a lot to say," he told her. "You wanna know the truth?"

"Of course!"

"We watched _Con Air_."

"You _what?_"

"He thought it'd be nice if we watched it together for once, instead of live-streaming-"

"Wow, John is really bad at the whole romance thing, isn't he?"

He watched her, flawlessly skating backwards, her dark hair poking out from under a bright knitted hat. Her green eyes shone in the artificial light of the rink, watching him, waiting for him to say something, warm, encouraging, kind.

He said, "We didn't do it."

Her grin disappeared. "What?"

"We just didn't. Okay?"

"Why not? I thought you said you wanted to-"

"I did. I do. I don't know, Jade, God knows I like the kid a lot, I just couldn't do it."

"You couldn't do it? Why not?"

"Wasn't right."

"What about it wasn't right? Did he do something to screw it up? Oh my gosh, John, he's such a-"

"No, hey. Don't worry about it. I'mma just…we're gonna figure it out and everything. John and me, by ourselves."

"Dave, I just want to help-"

"I know, but…" he paused, "but it's my thing. Okay?"

She didn't say anything for a second, then nodded. "Okay," she said. "If you say so. But, you know, I am always right here to talk to! And I am a good person to talk to. Right?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"No problem. I will continue to be the manic pixie dream girl to your broody, tortured reluctant hero. Just remember the little people when you're famous, Strider."

She sped forward, catching up with Rose and John. Dave was starting to get the hang of skating, and she let go of him mostly, holding onto one arm. John grinned and took his other hand, and Dave beat down a blush. Holy shit, what about ice-skating with his best friends brought out the twelve-year-old schoolgirl in him?

A shout resounded around the rink and Dave looked around just soon enough to see his brother zoom past him, Jake hot on his tail. They were both laughing and for just a second, the ugly, tight feeling in Dave's stomach unknotted slightly.

It wasn't long after that that Rose threw out her arm and stopped them all, waving at the entrance. "Kanaya!" she called, her eyes lighting up. "Kanaya! Over here!" She slid to a stop and exited the rink, her skates clumping along the carpeted floor as Kanaya appeared, glowing slightly with a little grin on her face, and embraced Rose. Dave, John and Jade followed her out, exchanging looks as they noticed who else was in Kanaya's company. Rose sat down and kicked off her skates, chatting excitedly with Kanaya, and Jade was the first one to say something to the rest of them.

"Hey, Karkat!" she said. "I didn't know if you were gonna make it today! Hi, Sollux."

Sollux waved, looking thoroughly unamused, and Karkat shook his head sourly.

Kankri and Mituna hardly paused to greet them at all, but headed straight to get ice skates. Jade asked, "Is anybody thirsty? I'm gonna go get a soda," and left, leaving Dave and John awkwardly alone.

"So…" began John hopefully. "Sollux…did you finish that thing you were talking about last time?"

Sollux shot a bored glare at him. "What thing?"

"That thing. You and Rose were talking about?"

"Oh," he said, almost scathingly. "That. Yeah. I finisthed."

John nodded, blinking. "Alright," he said. "Okay."

There was silence. After a minute or so, Kankri and Mituna passed their way, heading to the entrance of the rink. Kankri paused before them and then let go of Mituna, took several steps over to where Karkat sat. The kid shook his head and refused to look at his brother.

"Karkat," said Kankri, and there was something in his voice that sounded new, some caution or softness that they didn't know. "I just want you to know…I'm glad you did the right thing."

Karkat didn't look at him.

Kankri nodded, unmoving for a second, then said tightly, "Alright. Have fun," and went back to Mituna, helping him back onto the ice.

Jade returned then, looking after the two of them. "What did he say?" she asked, seeing the expression on Karkat's face.

"Nothing," he mumbled.

She hesitated, and then she shrugged. "Okay," she said. "So! How are you guys? Excited for Christmas?"

"Oh, pleasthe. Christmasth is nothing more than a capitalithst conthspiracy to thsell food and greeting cardsth. Don't even get me sthtarted on-"

"Kanaya doesn't even celebrate Christmas," said Karkat grumpily. Sollux leaned back, glaring out at the rink. "This is total bullshit. I don't even know why I'm here."

"Uh, maybe because it's the holidays and you're going to do something fun, even if it kills you!" She giggled. "Now let's go get you some skates!"

"I'm not getting out on that-"

Jade spent the next hour or so trying to get Karkat and Sollux to put one skates; John and Dave went back out on the ice for a little bit. Dave didn't tell John that he'd never gone ice-skating before, but from the way that John was holding onto him steadily and going extra-slow, he got the distinct impression that John sort of already knew.

They joined Jade and the others after a while, mostly to try and drag her back onto the ice because Rose had already all but ditched them, skating around and giggling madly with Kanaya.

John offered to get Dave a hot chocolate and left. Dave peered out onto the ice again, tuning out Jade's insistence that Karkat and Sollux get out there right _now_. Dirk was on his own, hands behind his back, skating slowly and, it seemed, serenely. Jake was on the other side of the rink, skating with Jane and Roxy and John's dad. Ms. Lalonde and Mr. Egbert looked one more plastic glass of cheap champagne away from ducking into the changing rooms and gettin' down, but at the look in Jane's eye when she looked at Jake, Dave sincerely hoped that Roxy would resist the temptation.

He watched Kanaya and Rose for a little bit. The way they were holding hands and stealing looks at one another occasionally was kind of unlike Rose, but it kind of made him quietly happy, in some sort of way. He liked Rose – sometimes he thought he liked her just a little bit more than he should, really – and he took it as a positive sign that it felt good that she was happy. That was a regular friend thing, right?

His gaze passed over another couple skating together, and he stopped, frowning slightly.

"Hey, assholes," he said, interrupting Jade; both Karkat and Sollux looked over to glare at him, his desired result. He nodded out at the ice and asked, "Are your brothers, like…" he paused, glanced at the two pairs. "Like, together, or something?"

"What?" said Karkat, sounded disgusted, and Sollux said, "_God_ no."

"You sure?" asked Dave, looking out at them. "Kinda looks like it to me."

"No," said Karkat definitively. "Kankri only hangs out with him out of pity."

Sollux shrugged. "It'sth true."

"And because it makes him seem so cool and, like, I don't even fucking know. It's fucking pathetic."

"Disthability porn," piped Sollux, and Karkat nodded gravely.

"Kankri thinks it makes him so, like," Dave saw the way Karkat stopped, stopped completely, his whole body and being, before he said this next word, as if an exhalation, as if uttering some hallowed consecration, "…holy."

He looked up at his brother skating around the rink, his face pale.

John came back with hot chocolate and they sat there and sipped it together, taking off their skates. Not long after that, Jade convinced the other two boys to go out on the ice, and John and Dave were alone, sitting at a shitty little table in a shitty little ice rink drinking shitty hot chocolate. John leaned over and kissed the side of Dave's face and then looked out over the rink and Dave felt dopey and stupid as shit but he smiled, a little bit. He knew this whole thing was gonna be god-awful from the start, but it was okay, sitting here with John and being warm and being okay. For all the shit that was falling apart around them, he figured that just maybe for the next hour or so, he could continue to be okay, and maybe he could carry that out of the place, back to Texas, and for once in his goddamned fucking life, he could maybe be okay.

After a while, once the hot chocolate was long gone, John's dad skated his way to the entrance of the rink, face tinged pink, slightly out of breath. "Son!" he called at John. "Come skate with your father! Let's show these newbies what real men can achieve!"

John seemed to blush a little as Dave glanced at him, embarrassed by his father for what seemed like the first time since Dave fucking met the kid. Dave only grinned at him, and John gave him an apologetic look before lacing up his skates again. "Come on," he said, "looks like Miz Lalonde is free. I bet she'd like a skate with you."

"Nah," replied Dave. "I'm pretty tuckered out."

"I bet."

"It's my delicate ankles. A princess's joints can only take so much vigorous activity."

John laughed, standing up. "You're a gay butt, Dave," he said, and then he went to his father on the ice, and exercised excellent fucking form and, _damn_, Dave could see why the kid almost took up figure-skating.

Leaving his skates by the table, wearing only socks, Dave headed towards the men's room, which were right inside the locker rooms, outside of which were the little cubbies where his shoes and phone was situated; he took out his phone on the way, glancing for any messages from Terezi. He went inside the bathroom (the men's locker room seemed empty), pissed, washed his hands, scrutinized his face in the mirror, adjusted his hair a little, rubbed his shades on his shirt, then placed them back on his face, straightening his hideous Christmas sweater. Feeling damn fine, he opened the door of the bathroom to leave, looking down at his phone again. But his head jerked up suddenly, torn away from his phone's screen, eyes wide, frozen in place, silent, as he heard something from somewhere inside the locker room.

It was something like whimpering, like would-be words except there was something obstructing the mouth, and his stomach did ugly flip-flops because that crying was way too fucking familiar.

The sound of a big breath being let out, and then Dirk's low murmuring. Dave couldn't make out exactly what he was saying, but he didn't dare move, only closed his eyes and concentrated, straining his ears to hear.

"…told you not to fucking follow me here," his brother was saying, and there was something like utter revulsion in his voice. "Fucking creep. How did you even find out-"

Somebody else's voice, a soft laugh. Jake? No. Too deep for that, too guttural, like wind coming out of creaky pipes. "You really fucking thought I couldn't find you, Strider?" Dave didn't know that voice, but his brother made another sudden whimpering noise, as if the wind was suddenly forced from his lungs.

"I – I _fucking told you_, that was a one night thing, I don't want you here-"

A whisper from the other man, something Dave couldn't hear. And then his brother let out a loud yelping sound, desperate and breathy. Dave pressed a hand over his mouth. He could hear his heartbeat on the inside of his skull, surely they were going to hear him, or worse, somebody was going to hear _them_ and come in and investigate – Dave could _see_ the entrance to the locker room from where he was, but the bathroom was separated from the rest of the room by a tiled wall – he couldn't make a break for it without them seeing, or him seeing them, holy _shit_-

Another gasping moan, and then Dave heard Dirk speak, as if forcing the words from some place deep in his stomach. "I – where's your sister, Cal?"

The sounds Dirk was making suddenly softened a little. A breath of…relief?

The low, dangerous voice asked, "What did you just ask me, peasant?"

"Your – _uhn_ – your sister. Roxy couldn't – _hhn_ – couldn't get a hold of…her…"

"And what the fuck does it matter to you."

"Jake hasn't heard from her since…since last year."

"Say another word," snarled the other man. "I dare you. Keep going, Strider."

"If you did – _anything_ – to her-"

Another sound: a soft scream.

"You really want to do this here?" gasped Dirk. "Anybody could walk in. You ready for that, Caliborn? You really want that?"

A stifled, choking sound. Dave pressed his hands to his face, trying not to shake.

There were no more words, just awful sounds of groaning and whining and, at one point, an awful slap of flesh-on-flesh and Dave could hardly fucking _breathe_ and then-

A tinny song started playing, shitty and it would've been humiliating in regular circumstances, but Dave's heart sank right down into the bottom of his stomach and he felt like he was going to throw up as the phone in his hand buzzed, and the noises from within the locker room went dead silent. He wanted to scream, to cry or something, but he couldn't fucking move, only silenced his phone immediately and held it tightly in two hands, as if he could contain the sound that had already fucking escaped.

The other man let out a throaty sort of chuckle. "Well," he said, loud and clear enough for Dave to hear. "Seems like we have a spectator, Strider."

Dave's heart was racing, his hands shaking. He had to make a break for it, he was so close to the exit, just run for it – and then he heard his brother's voice, desperate, "No!"

"Hmm-?"

A wet, sucking noise, and it hit Dave that his brother would recognize his stupid fucking ringtone and his heart was going to pump right fucking out of his chest but he had to move because if he knew his brother, and Jesus Christ, if he knew one thing in the entire fucking world, he knew his brother, and the loathing in Dirk's voice hadn't been faked but he was holding this creep for just five fucking seconds, and the ugly, indecent sounds in the silence was Dave's cue that his brother was giving him an out and Dave fucking took it, shot out of there like a fucking bat outta hell, feeling sick to his stomach.

He got all the way out of the place and out into the freezing wintry air. His socks were instantly soaking wet, but he went to the side of the building and collapsed in a dirty pile of thin, let out long, shuddering breaths. His phone buzzed again.

After a few minutes, the cold hit him, and it shot through him to the bone and his mind cleared. He stood up and went back into the place, his knees feeling weak, went over to the entrance of the rink and called, hoarsely, "John…" but he was on the other side of the ice, but there was Jake and Jane and Roxy right there and he reached out at them and called Jake's name, and the three of them stopped and Jane said, "Dave, oh my goodness, you're all wet," and Roxy asked, "Are you okay?" and Dave coughed slightly and then he said, "Um, Jake, there's – my brother's in the locker room, I think he's, I don't know, something wrong, or something? Could you – would you just-"

Jake began to say something like, "Well, Dirk's a big boy, I'm sure he can take care of-" until Roxy hit him, hard, and hissed his name under her breath and he said, "Right, yes, of course, sorry Dave…"

He briefly touched Dave's shoulder as he sidled past him, but he was hardly two steps away when the door opened and closed and Dirk came striding out, shades still on, gingerly touching his hair, sniffing slightly. He stopped when he saw all of them before him.

"Oh, hey," he said. "What's up?"

"Is everything okay?" asked Jane cautiously, and Dirk sniffed again and nodded.

"Yup," he said. "I'm fine." Dave noticed that his head was tilted backwards slightly, and another sniff became more pronounced.

"Here," said Roxy, hurrying forward, pulling a napkin out of a dispenser on one of the tables and holding it out to Dirk, taking him by the shoulder and forcing him to sit down. He pressed the napkin to his nose and Roxy stood by him, a hand on his back. She looked up and met Dave's eyes, then Jake's. Without a word, Jake headed into the locker rooms. For a few seconds, Dave's stomach clenched, and then Jake reappeared, shaking his head. Nobody moved for a second, then Jane sat down beside him.

"Dirk," she said. "Are you all right?"

He looked at her from under his shades. "Yeah," he said, gingerly dabbing underneath his nose. "Yeah, don't worry. I'm just as good as always, huh?" He laughed, and Jane looked up at Roxy, who shook her head a little.

Dave let out a huge fucking breath and leaned against the divider before the ice, closing his eyes, slowly untangling the mess in his stomach. For a third time, the phone in his hand buzzed, and, irritated with it, he finally answered it without glancing at the screen to see who it was.

"He_llo?_"

"Hello, Dave?"

Dave stood up straight, taken aback by the unexpected voice on the other end. "Mister Nitram," he said, blinking, "um…hi."

"I – merry Christmas, Dave," said the voice on the other end, sounding tired and harassed.

"Uh, merry Christmas. Um, how's Tavros?"

Even on the phone, Dave could almost hear the man's heart fall. "Now…Tavros is the reason I'm calling, in fact."

Dave stood stock-still. He closed his eyes. No. No. He could not deal with one more fucking tragedy. If Tav got himself in an accident, or if he got shot or if Makara finally decided a wheelchair wasn't enough to keep him away for good, then-

Tavros's father asked, "He didn't call you, did he, Dave?"

"Call me?" asked Dave. "No. He didn't. Oh my God. Is he okay? What happened?"

"I'm sorry. I was hoping you might know something."

"Know something? About what?"

Dave heard Mr. Nitram let out a long, uneasy breath. "We can't find him, Dave."

"What?"

"He's gone. We don't know where he is."

"_What?_"

"I thought maybe he'd spoken to you, organized something between you boys…" The last threads of hope seemed to be evaporating even as he spoke. "Nothing?"

"No," said Dave, stunned. "No. What?"

"You don't know anything?"

"I… No. Nothing."

A pause, and then a deep sigh. "Okay," he said. "Thank you, Dave. You let me know if you hear anything from him, alright?"

"…yeah."

"And I'll do the same. Thanks, Dave."

"No – I'm sorry, I wish I…"

A pause. "We could sure use some prayer right now."

"I…yes. Mister Nitram?"

"Yes?"

"How long has he been gone?"

"Since Friday."

Dave felt like the breath was knocked out of him. "Please find him."

"We're doing our best."

"Yeah. I meant, I hope you find him. Soon. He's probably just… yeah."

"You have a merry Christmas, Dave."

"You too. He'll show up. I know."

"Right," said the man tiredly. "Goodbye, then."

"'Bye."

Dave hung up and stood there holding his phone.

John had stopped skating and was standing by him and Mr. Egbert was hovering between him and the group clustered around Dirk, whose nose was still bleeding, and Rose and Kanaya stopped and so did Jade and Karkat and somebody called 911 at some point and Dirk passed out in Roxy's arms for a few seconds and the paramedics were pretty set on getting him into the back of that ambulance and he was sure they said that only family could ride in there with Dirk but nobody asked him and then he was sitting in the back of John's dad's car and they were riding home and John asked him if he was okay, or something, and he realized he couldn't quite hear anything and he went upstairs and into the little room he shared with his brother when they got back to John's house, and laid silently in his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Sometime past midnight Dave awoke to a buzzing feeling underneath his pillow and he pulled his hand out like it had caught fire and even though it said _UKNOWN NUMBER_ in bright white letters he answered it and put it to his ear, electricity shooting through his body.

"Hello?"

Nothing. Silence, except for a kind of faint wheezing sound, as if somebody was breathing lightly into the receiver.

He leaned forward in bed, blinking. "Hello?" he asked again, feeling empty and hollow and suddenly angry.

"Ho, ho, ho, motherfucker."

Dave's blood went ice cold.

"I'll tell a brother somethin', I'll tell you, a crippled motherfucker don't look half as pretty without a pretty motherfucker like yourself."

Gross, snuffling laughter, and then the voice shouted into the phone, loud and sudden and it made Dave jump and his heart rate skyrocket.

The voice screamed, "_HONK_," and the line went dead.

* * *

This is the end of weekly updates. Hopefully within the next few months they will resume.


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